Maggie's Farm

Hackers steal $130 million from Cream Finance; the company’s 3rd hack this year

The attackers are believed to have found a vulnerability in the platform’s lending system —called flash loaning— and used it to steal all of Cream’s assets and tokens running on the Ethereum blockchain, according to blockchain security firm BlockSec, which also posted an explanation of the security flaw on Twitter earlier today.

People prepping for the end of the world love cryptocurrency. You know, money that only works if everything on the internet does. Good luck with that.

Forget “Best” or “Sincerely,” This Email Closing Gets the Most Replies

The first shall be last and the last shall be first and "Best" shall be last.

Why the U.S. Navy Never Built Titanium Submarines Like Russia

There was simply no conceivable supply chain in place to make the serial production of titanium even remotely cost-efficient. The Papa-class prototype cost an astonishing 1 percent of the Soviet Union’s entire 1968 GDP, and that doesn’t factor in titanium’s unique maintenance and component degradation costs.

Yeah, but titanium submarines sure helped the Russians beat the Afghan navy pretty quick. Anyway, the US Defense department also seems to be based solely on the "money is no object" procurement plan. Wait until we're totally soviet to find out what that really means. You won't have to wait long.

Hardy Kruger Would Approve

This guy literally makes a working miniature Airbus RC airplane right in front of you. It turns out that Hardy Kruger in the Flight of the Phoenix was right all along.

The original Flight of the Phoenix was a great movie. The remake, not so much.

China limits construction of 'super high-rise buildings'

"Every building aims to be a landmark, and the developers and city planners try to achieve this goal by going extreme in novelty and strangeness."

That's the 21st century in a nutshell.

The Great Competition to Give Away Money

The word people are most comfortable using to describe the current moment right now is “froth.” But some people are willing to go further in describing what, to a cynic, can seem like irrational exuberance. “The VCs are reacting rationally to the environment that they're in,” said Martin Kenney, a UC Davis professor who studies the venture capital industry. “But the environment could be irrational.”

The headline describes venture capital investment as "giving away money." That's the 21st century in a nutshell.

Why The Metaverse will be Bigger than Facebook and Google Combined

Metaverse is a collection of various virtual worlds, game worlds if you want, capable of possible cooperation. This means that these worlds and the games they are represented in them will be connected at some point in the future. But it doesn't stop with the games. In the metaverse, you can virtually check an NFT gallery of famous real-world artists, play a game on your mobile while your friends play the same game from XBOX or PS5, you can then check a new musical artist in his recent virtual streamed performance, and finally to perform almost every programmable simulation of a situation from our lives, such as learning to drive a car, plane, a rocketship, and so one.[sic]

I'm sure guaranteed basic income and phony empty box refund claims from Amazon will make this wonderful new world possible.

Solid-State Batteries Rev Up Electric Cars, Boost Grid Storage

In tests, a laboratory prototype delivered 500 charge and discharge cycles with 80% capacity retention at room temperature. In contrast, previous studies with silicon anodes usually only achieved roughly 100 stable cycles.

Not really a battery per se. It's a (super)capacitor. Supercapacitors are the only thing that will make electric cars really viable. They'll figure it out eventually, and think of all the money you can make running a superfund recycling site for Tesla batteries when they do.

The fluoride wars rage on

Some toxicologists and epidemiologists are now questioning whether even low doses of fluoride can have systemic effects, including causing a dip in IQ in children who were exposed to it in utero. The first indications of this came from studies that compared unfluoridated villages and communities with fluoridated ones (where fluoride is either naturally occurring or added to water), followed by better-controlled studies that measured fluoride in individuals.

I once heard someone whose medical coverage didn't cover dental work describe teeth as "luxury bones."

Home Values Soared in 2020 -- but So Did Property Taxes

The average property tax bill for a single-family home rose from $3,561 in 2019 to $3,719 in 2020, according to ATTOM Data Solutions. All told, property taxes for single-family homes increased $323 billion last year, or 5.4%, from the year before.

I'm sure towns and cities will use this extra money wisely, by investing in the additional police officers needed to arrest all the citizens who attend school board meetings, for instance.

Unvaccinated people are set to be BANNED from Berlin’s Christmas market after officials approved shutting them out in latest example of two-tier post-Covid society

That's truly the Christmas spirit, isn't it? I suggest Germans follow Groucho Marx's advice in these matters: Don't join any group willing to have you as a member.

Jobs that Marry Together the Most

It's fun to press the random occupations button and see who's schtupping whom. Of course homemakers aren't on the list, because they don't exist and you're weird for asking why they're not.

Bitcoin is largely controlled by a small group of investors and miners, study finds

As opposed to the Federal Reserve, which has a single director, Beelzebub.

France moves to shield its book industry from Amazon

"This law is necessary to regulate the distorted competition within online book sales and prevent the inevitable monopoly that will emerge if the status quo persists," the ministry told Reuters.

Wow. French people talking sense. Truly it must be the end times. Oh, they fix the problem by charging the customer more. Never mind.

How Much Do Los Angeles Interns Get Paid?

Interns get paid? Who knew? According to the graphic, a social media intern makes about double what a healthcare intern makes. Legal interns make the most, probably because medical malpractice lawsuits caused by low wage healthcare interns pay great.

Giant, free index to world's research papers released online

No thanks. I get all my vital information from brilliantine dullards who read scripts written by social media interns on the TV news.

Securing your digital life, part one: The basics

Pro Tip: Leaving your password on a Post-It note appended to the screen isn't good. It's especially not good if you're using the computer at the library.

Walmart Billionaire Marc Lore Is Planning a $500 Billion “City of the Future”

He’s devised a “reformed version of capitalism” with Telosa he calls “equitism,” where anyone can build and sell homes, but the city retains ownership of the land underneath.

Hmm. That sort of arrangement isn't new. It's called a favela overseas, or an Indian Reservation around here. Good luck with that.

Scientists claim that planet 9 could actually be a primordial black hole with a diameter of just a few centimeters

Planet 9 is a hypothesized large planet that would be located in the outer parts of our solar system, far beyond the orbits of Neptune and Uranus. The existence of planet 9 would explain the weird orbits of some transneptunian objects that are hard to be explained without it.

Women, minorities, Neil DeGrasse Tyson hardest hit.

A photographer and artist walk into a fake news factory

Ostensibly a photobook on the small Macedonian town of Veles, which made international headlines in 2016 as the unlikely factory of pro-Trump fake news, The Book of Veles created a furore after Bendiksen revealed that the project’s images were synthetically generated using 3D software and the book’s text was written entirely by artificial intelligence. Fascinated with the story of Veles as well as with developments in synthetic imagery, Bendiksen set out to see just how “real” he could make his images. Although he left breadcrumbs throughout the text, to his surprise the book was published in April 2021 to “nice, positive echo-chamber feedback,” said Bendiksen. No one questioned the authenticity of the images or text.

So, every molecule of the story was fake, except the part that smears Trump. That was totally legit. Got it.

Humans Are Actually Terrible at Navigating Cities, Study of Over 14,000 People Shows

According to mobile phone data from over 14,000 people living their daily lives, humans are terrible at calculating the shortest route through city streets. And the reason is really simple: our brains want us to face the direction we are going in, even if that's not the most efficient way of getting to our destination.

Better headline: Cities are actually terrible at accommodating humans.

Microsoft beats revenue expectations, reporting 22% growth

Microsoft is IBM now. Kinda staid, reliable, always makes money. No one gets fired for hiring Microsoft, as they say. IBM is now, oh, I don't know, Fotomat.

The Unique Pros and Cons of Being An Older Dad

According to life-expectancy charts issued by the CDC, she can expect to lose me before she is 30. Then, after my wife dies — if she doesn’t precede me — my daughter will be all alone in the world.

That's why being a sugar daddy makes more sense. You can be a sugar daddy at any old age. And your protege won't mind if you die. She might even help.

This is what the coming Depression will look like now that we have Instagram.

On to the news!

Why aviation’s compass is shifting towards True navigation

I guarantee your luggage will stick with the old method.

Privacy is a Human Right

Rights have concomitant responsibilities. Stop clutching homing beacons and sending randos pictures of your private parts, and then we'll talk.

Here's the FBI's Internal Guide for Getting Data from AT&T, T-Mobile, Verizon

The only question remaining about the FBI is whether it's always been evil.

We need to talk about how Apple is normalising surveillance

I don't. 

New York Times Journalist Ben Hubbard Hacked with Pegasus after Reporting on Previous Hacking Attempts

They took over his iPhone with an email attachment. He gets his online privacy advice from his granny, I guess. 

Right-to-disconnect policies included in new labour legislation being introduced by Ontario government

They'll still time warehouse workers in the bathroom, however.

Hertz Order for 100,000 EVs Sends Tesla Value to $1 Trillion

Hertz just went bankrupt. Now they're spending Wall Street Bets dough. Wisely, as usual.

Accidental leak reveals US government has secretly hit Google with 'keyword warrants' to identify ANYONE searching certain names, addresses, and phone numbers

That's why I only search for porn online. It's safer.

Facing sky-high connection fees, rural Ontarians go off the grid

They use a substantial amount of electricity, too, which is unusual for off-grid. Good for them.

Facebook Reports Third Quarter 2021 Results

An obscenity wrapped in a travesty inside a perversion.

Blacklisted Chinese tech giant Huawei paid Tony Podesta $500,000 to lobby the White House

They should have skipped the middleman and sent it direct to the Big Guy. He must have a drive-up window at this point.

Viewing website HTML code is not illegal or “hacking,” prof. tells Missouri gov.

Conservatives are never going to figure out how the internet works. Hint: it doesn't work for you.

Chicago poised to create one of the nation’s largest ‘guaranteed basic income’ programs

This sounds like looting with extra steps.

Decades after polio, Martha is among the last to still rely on an iron lung to breathe

Did she write the bulk of any series?

From Homes to Cars, It’s Now Time to Electrify Everything

That's funny. Stalin said the same thing.

Have a great Tuesday, everyone.

Don't get all down in the mouth because it's Monday. Every day is a gift, remember? Of course Monday is a gift of socks under life's Christmas tree, but it's still a gift, isn't it?

Monday is useful if you're clever. I remember this one time, back when I was working at a jewelry store. This very elderly man came into the store one Saturday, with an amazing young woman on his arm. The guy had to be eighty, easy, and might have weighed ninety pounds. The woman probably caused four traffic accidents just crossing the street. That sort of arrangement is none of my business, so I just asked him what he wanted.

"She'd like to see a really nice ring."

I figured he wanted to impress the woman, so I trotted out a $4,000 diamond job. The girl put it on her finger, and held it up to the light to see the sparkle.

"How much is it," he asked. I told him.

"Look," he said, "I told you I wanted to see a really nice ring. Not this cheap trinket. Go back and get this girl a ring worthy of her finger."

I went out in the back and rummaged around and found the most expensive ring in the shop. We didn't even display it, it was so obscenely expensive and gaudy. It looked like a doorknob in Liberace's house.

"How much is it?"

"It's $63,000."

"Is a check OK? You can deposit it on Monday morning, and I'll be by on Monday afternoon to pick up the ring."

I closed the shop early and went out on a bender. I mean, I went to the barroom, the casino, the strip joint, the, the whole works. I blew the entire 20 percent commission in no time.

On Monday, I deposited the check, and the bank called me. I called the old man.

There's only $37 in your bank account! Do you know what kind of weekend I had? I blew $12,000 on a bender!"

"Don't brag," the old man replied, "Hell, I spent the weekend with the hottest woman in town and it only cost me $37."

So be smart, dear readers. Don't work for Monday. Make Monday work for you. On to the links:

Volcanic activity, seismic shifts: WWII ships from Battle of Iwo Jima raised from watery graves

Eruptions from volcanos in Japan’s Ogasawara Islands have caused movements in the earth’s crust, created a new island, and raised ships sunk during the Battle of Iwo Jima above the sea surface, according to Japan’s TV Asahi.

Funny that the Taiwan news is full of, well, Taiwan news. It's the American papers that are full of imminent Chicom invasions and WWIII . The number one story in this paper is a robbery at a convenience store.

We are recreating the entire planet in Minecraft

Our mission is to fully recreate the entire Earth in Minecraft at a 1:1 scale. One block in Minecraft equates to roughly one meter in the real world, meaning this project will fully recreate the size of our planet.

I'd volunteer to help, but I finally touched a boob some years back, and have moved on with my life.

Deadly infection linked to contaminated room spray sold at Walmart

The product, Better Homes and Gardens Lavender and Chamomile Essential Oil Infused Aromatherapy Room Spray with Gemstones, was sold at 55 Walmart locations and on the company’s website from February to Oct. 21.

With gemstones? Do aromatherapy misters throw rocks at you, too, or just make you smell like a spinster aunt?

The Fatiguing Effects of Camera Use in Virtual Meetings: A Within-Person Field Experiment

For example, a global study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found an average increase in the overall number of meetings people attended postpandemic lockdown compared to prepandemic levels, but the length of these meetings was shorter, netting an overall 11.5% decrease in time spent in meetings since the start of the pandemic

That little tidbit is kinda buried in there. Apparently, you can manage people more efficiently remotely than face-to-face. Burying the lede, there, research dweebs.

A Very Big Little Country

Therefore, at this time, I deem it necessary to formally claim for myself all land between 90 degrees west and 150 degrees west and south of 60 degrees south to include all seas and ice shelves. The area will henceforth be known as ‘The Achaean Territory of Antarctica.’ The purpose of this acquisition is to secure the territory for research and development and future colonization. Also, to protect it from those parties who would exploit the territory with misdeeds

I've similarly formally claimed the recliner to protect it from those parties who would exploit it, but the cat doesn't respect my authority, I guess.

Servicing and repairing electric cars requires new skills

McKinsey, a consultancy, thinks EVs may reduce spending on spare parts at American dealerships by as much as 40%. With no oil to change or spark plugs to replace, income from routine servicing will also be lower. Porsche’s Taycan, for one, is reckoned to need 30% less maintenance than if it was an ICE vehicle. And fewer items on the service sheet will require a trip to the dealership at all, as an increasing number of fixes are carried out with over-the-air software updates.

I am beset by doubts. I am looking forward to sitting by the side of the road in my bricked car while waiting on hold to talk to someone about my software update in pidgin English.

Tesla Bumps Model S And Model X Prices Higher By $5,000 Each

The Model X Long Range price has gone from $99,990 to $104,990. The Model X Plaid price has stayed the same at $119,990. The Model S long range price has moved from $89,990 to $94,990 for the cheapest version of the car. The Model S Plaid price remains $129,990.

But think of all the money you'll save on spark plugs!

Exosuit Designed in Woodruff School Helps with Awkward Lifts

Although most active exosuits support vertical lifts, rotating and twisting movements are also ubiquitous, especially in certain fields of manual labor like garbage collection and baggage handling. In many cases, these motions can be awkward and strenuous, leading to work-related injuries as well as back pain, according to Young. Back pain, in turn, is directly correlated with the strength of compressive forces and shear forces that are applied to the spine.

Back when I was doing heavy manual labor we already had a device on our backs that helped us lift more weight than we thought we could comfortably handle, and move it around faster than we ever dreamed possible. We called it the "Boss," and the technology that made it go was called "yelling."

Jedi Blue: A Scandal That Highlights, Yet Again, The Need To Regulate Big Tech

What is Jedi Blue? Basically a quid-pro-quo scheme that starts with Google’s 2007 acquisition of Double Click, and ends with Facebook, in 2018, agreeing not to challenge Google’s advertising business in return for a very special treatment in Google’s ad auctions.

The knucklehead author posits that this calls for more regulations. There's mention in the court documents that Facebook and Google had a plan on how to hide the plan if they were investigated. That's jail time, not regulation time.

COBOLing Together UI Benefits: How Delays in Fiscal Stabilizers Impact Aggregate Consumption

Using daily card consumption data from Affinity Solutions, I employ a two-way fixed effects estimator to measure the causal impact of COBOL-induced delays in UI benefits on aggregate consumption. The dela+++++\s caused a 4.4 percentage point relative decline in total card consumption in COBOL states relative to non-COBOL states. Performing a back-of-the-envelope calculation using 2019 data, I find that real GDP declined by $181 billion (in 2012 dollars).

I'll bet you the states still relying on COBOL and Madge in accounting had way more than $181 billion in savings because their old-fashioned methods didn't approve every fake claim immediately

A cautionary tale from the streets of San Francisco. A new book shows how well-meaning urban policies have backfired

For example, many on the left believe the lax prosecution of laws is compassionate. As a result, the city mostly does not enforce drug laws, even against dealers—at a mounting cost to addicts. Last year 713 people died of accidental drug overdoses, more than double the toll of covid-19. “What kind of city regulates ice-cream stores more strictly than drug-dealers who kill 713 of its citizens in a single year?”

The subheading on this article is a true example of begging the question. Who says urban policies have been "well-meaning"? It was criminals decriminalizing criminality. Film at eleven.

Have a great Tuesday, everyone!. Yeah, I know.

Paintmakers Are Running Out of the Color Blue

Nassim Nicholas Taleb Calls Bitcoin a Tulip Bubble Without the Aesthetics

The Uselessness of Useful Knowledge

How just 10 news photos can predict global daily stock market returns

Why Fake Shutters Make Me Angry

Bastiat's famous Candlestick makers' Petition

‘Rust’ crew describes on-set gun safety issues and misfires days before fatal shooting

Big switch: New Hampshire Democrats want Biden primaried in 2024

Illinois Sheriffs Reject Mayor Lightfoot's Urgent Plea To Cover Police Shortage In Crime-Hit Chicago

If You Don’t Already, You, Too, Can Learn to Love Snow Camping

Lockheed Martin plans to build Starlab commercial space station by 2027

Jetson ONE, a commercially available personal electric aerial vehicle that you can own and fly

Canada’s heist of the century involved $18.7 million worth of maple syrup

Leaping Mini Cheetah from MIT Yet Another Watershed Moment in Robotic Horror

I got to thinking yesterday. That's always a mistake. I'm not a clear thinker, being human and all. But I had to look at the news media a bit, to find links for you fine folks, and it got me ruminating. Since there was nothing but bad news, I renamed the process "doominating."

There's nothing but impending doom in the news. Not actual doom in the regular news. The regular news has shifted 180 degrees since they pitched the mean tweeter out on his ear, and muzzled him. Everything's fine now. No matter how not fine the news is, it's fine to them. They still find doom, of course. It's over there behind the invisible 800-pound gorillas.

The purpose of aggregators like Maggie's Farm is to collate an alternative slate of information for people looking for interest or entertainment outside the usual bubble of daily life. It's a kind of magazine, not a newspaper. Magazines have themes. Everywhere I went yesterday, looking for stuff, it was nothing but doom, doom, doom. There are two alternate sets of doom, but it's all doom. My version of Maggie's theme gets harder and harder to cobble together, because I don't really like posting doom drivel and exclaiming harrumph.

It occurs to me that the doom fetish means the average American likes doom. They like being told the world will end, and yesterday to boot. They like movies about apocalypse and TV shows about the dead wandering the earth and munching on the straphangers. The average Joe is getting their jollies by wallowing in their own little doomworld. What is Twitter but an IV drip of doom?

So it's incumbent on me to apologize (again) if the articles I collate aren't depressing enough to make you happy. I'm being as dour as I can, but I can't seem to keep up.

How is Bamboo Lumber Made?

I'm fairly certain the the substance described isn't technically "lumber." Lumber qua lumber is cut up timber. The stuff in the article is "manufactured lumber." Why yes, I'm lots of fun at parties, why do you ask?

Billions of banknotes are missing. Why does nobody care?

Central banks everywhere seem to care little about missing cash. The total value of US dollars in circulation jumped by 16% in 2020 alone, passing $2trn for the first time, quadruple the value of notes 20 years ago. There is more than $7,000 in paper money out there for every American, and more than €4,000 for every resident of the euro zone. Yet in America and Europe, as in Britain, most people use cash for little more substantial than a cup of coffee.

Got that? To dweebs at the Economist, and the central banks, if regular people have any money, it's "missing." 

Quick Look: Altitude and Child Development

Children raised at higher altitudes do worse on developmental tests. There is a fair amount of data supporting this, and some even attempt to control for things like familiar wealth, prematurity, etc. I’m not convinced. The effects are modest, I expect families living at very high altitudes (typically rural) to be different in many ways from lower altitudes (typically urban) in ways that cause their children to score differently on tests without it making a meaningful impact on their life

Yes, I've noticed that places like Switzerland keep churning out citizens who need a hockey helmet to ride the bus. It would explain a lot about Denver Bronco fans, though.

How the Kodak Brownie Changed Privacy Rights Forever

It has now been well over a century since Joel Benton’s poem “The Kodak Fiend” warned, in ominous verse, “Oh, de Kodak fiend, he’s sly an’ mean / An’ you can’t go out near his machine.”

I love listening to people clutching an iPhone, sitting next to an Alexa on their couch, complaining about privacy. I have weird hobbies, I guess. And shades on my windows.

When and why did human brains decrease in size 3,000 years ago? Ants may hold clues

"We propose that this decrease was due to increased reliance on collective intelligence, the idea that a group of people is smarter than the smartest person in the group, often called the 'wisdom of the crowds,'" added Traniello.

An elephant's brain weighs 10 pounds. An elephant can't even dial an iPhone, or plug in an Alexa, so you're going to ask the ants different questions, research guy.

Alec Baldwin “Discharged” Prop Gun That Killed ‘Rust’ Cinematographer Halyna Hutchins & Injured Director On Set

The castmember, now identified as Baldwin, was unaware of the type of ammunition in the gun, we’re told. A rep from the production said that “Production has been halted for the time being” on Rust and that “the safety of our cast and crew remains our top priority.”

Remember, guns don't kill people -- gun control advocates kill people

Fed to ban policymakers from owning individual stocks, restrict trading following controversy

Those new rules come on the heels of a swelling ethics controversy over whether central bank officials should be able to trade while their policies can, and often do, move markets.

I believe this problem has previously been solved, as the Fed owns everything already.

Volcanically driven lacustrine ecosystem changes during the Carnian Pluvial Episode 

It is postulated that the voluminous emission of volcanic CO2, with consequent global warming and enhancement of a mega-monsoonal climate, was responsible for the CPE (9, 16), although the link is imprecise (2, 17) because the interval of Wrangellian eruptions have not yet been traced in the sedimentary records encompassing the CPE.

Oh, great. I'm no meteorologist, but I've been pluvial once, after an ill-advised trip to Chipotle, so I'm warning you: If you live in Pangea, you better be prepping for a tougher winter than usual.

This ingenious wall could harness enough wind power to cover your electric bill

His wind turbine wall consists of a grid of square panes spinning simultaneously along 25 axes. The exact size and format aren’t set in stone, so variations of that wall could be used anywhere with a decent span, like on the side of a highway or the fence around a building.

On today's episode of "Confuse a Cat"...

NIH acknowledges US funded gain-of-function at Wuhan lab, despite Fauci’s denials

"Fauci’s public persona as a cautious, careful medical professional is contradicted by his central role in kickstarting exceptionally fraught gain-of-function research in the United States after the ban introduced in the Obama era, along with his role in funding coronavirus research in China in unsafe laboratories. Laboratories that intelligence agencies suspect may have sparked the pandemic"

To paraphrase the usual media headline: Wuhan chimera experiments proven; minorities, women, and Zachriel hardest hit.

Have a great Friday, everyone!

Well, hello all. Roger here, the king of Sicily. Bird Dog is off getting his annual flea bath, and he's left me to guard the henhouse while he's away.

I apologize unreservedly, in advance. I'm really no use to you fine folks. I don't read newspapers and I don't watch TV. How am I going to discharge my duties as a blogger if I can't claim that I read the newspapers and watch TV harder than you, so my opinion trumps yours? I'm barely aware of what's what in the manufactured reality everyone lives in nowadays. I will shamefacedly admit that I sometimes go outside, during the daylight hours. How can anyone trust my judgment on anything?

For instance, I was barely aware that there are hearings or something being held somewhere, where panels of grim-faced blacklisting, witch-hunting martinets are interrogating people with questions like, "Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Las Vegas Raiders coaching staff"? 

So here's a smattering of random information you might find amusing or informative or silly or whatever. Also, did you know the Raiders moved to Las Vegas? I didn't. The Rams still play in Los Angeles, though, just like when I was a kid. They'll never move.

Head of California’s largest union arrested on theft, fraud charges

Alma Hernandez, the executive director of SEIU California, and her husband Jose Moscoso were charged on Thursday with allegedly underreporting some $1.4 million of income between the 2014 and 2018 tax years. Another complaint alleged that Hernandez, while working on a political action committee for a Democratic state senate candidate in 2014, approved a $11,700 payment to her husband for services he did not provide. Moscoso also allegedly did not disclose that his air duct-cleaning business had multiple employees, resulting in over $300,000 in unreported wages.

You know, if I ever run for state senate, the first thing I'm doing is getting my ducts cleaned. Because it's all about ducts, really. Since Katherine Helmond is speaker of the US house of representatives, it's all starting to make sense. 

Evidence for European presence in the Americas in ad 1021

Our new date lays down a marker for European cognisance of the Americas, and represents the first known point at which humans encircled the globe.

I deal with Europeans from time to time. They don't seem to be cognizant of anything but America, now. We're villains to them, of course, but at least we're the main characters in their lack-of-passion plays, so we have that going for us.

Commerce Tightens Export Controls on Items Used in Surveillance of Private Citizens and other Malicious Cyber Activities

The United States Government opposes the misuse of technology to abuse human rights or conduct other malicious cyber activities, and these new rules will help ensure that U.S. companies are not fueling authoritarian practices.

The United States Government opposes the misuse of technology to abuse human rights unless you're an American, they mean. Say, where did you get that $600 in your bank account, prole?

FlixMobility acquires Greyhound to Expand U.S. Intercity Bus Services

André Schwämmlein, Founder and Chief Executive Officer of FlixMobility, said, “Consumers across North America are increasingly seeking affordable, comfortable, smart and sustainable mobility solutions. A compelling offering will draw significantly more travelers away from private cars to shared intercity bus mobility.

There are those Europeans again (FlixMobility is German), getting all cognizant of the Americas again. I've never found Greyhound to be affordable, exactly, or egad, comfortable, or smart, no matter how you define the word. And if it was "sustainable," they wouldn't have been able to buy the company. But hey, I'm quibbling about sunny language used in a press release, and I can't help noticing that the press agent at FlixMobility is named Goebbels. Well, at least they're not buying railcars.

The FDA wants you to be able to buy a hearing aid without a prescription

People with mild or moderate hearing loss could soon be able to buy hearing aids without a medical exam or special fitting, under a new rule being proposed by the Food and Drug Administration.

But not Ivermectin. With or without a prescription.

Cannabis and Male Fertility: A Systematic Review

Research supports a role for cannabis in reducing sperm count and concentration, inducing abnormalities in sperm morphology, reducing sperm motility and viability, and inhibiting capacitation and fertilizing capacity.

Remember, correlation does not equal causation. How do we know it's not a Cheeto overdose causing the problem? Huh, science dudes? What was the question again?

Trump announces media company, social media platform coming next month

Trump Media & Technology Group (TMTG) said in a statement that its mission was to “create a rival to the liberal media consortium and fight back against the ‘Big Tech’ companies of Silicon Valley, which have used their unilateral power to silence opposing voices in America.”

Dumb and tone-deaf, as usual. You might as well call it WalterSobchak.com, tagline, "we're not wrong, we're just ***holes. You should have advertised it as the "social media company for everyone, not just lunatic leftists." See, this is why the other side still hires people named Goebbels. They know how to play this game.

Check out the original 1851 reviews of Moby-Dick

The rarely imagined character [Ahab] has been grievously spoiled, nay altogether ruined, by a vile overdaubing with a coat of book-learning and mysticism; there is no method in his madness; and we must needs pronounce the chief feature of the volume a perfect failure, and the work itself inartistic.

I've read that the really hard thing to do in fiction is to create memorable, believable characters. Captain Ahab is one of the most memorable characters every produced by a writer. Everyone knows who Captain Ahab is. No one knows who William Young, critic at the New York Albion was.

Facebook settles a federal lawsuit over allegations it favored foreign job applicants

The department's civil rights division said the social network giant "routinely refused" to recruit, consider or hire U.S. workers, a group that includes U.S. citizens and nationals, people granted asylum, refugees and lawful permanent residents, for positions it had reserved for temporary visa holders.

Remember, it's only evil colonialism if you set up shop in sunny climes and lord it over the locals. If you import the benighted to do your scut work for a pittance, it's social media! Sanjay lives in the Amistad Arms apartments, barely scrapes by on what they pay him, and he can't quit or he immediately becomes a fugitive. That arrangement sounds familiar, but at least it's not colonialism.

Have a great day, everyone, and keep those ducts clean!