Maggie's Farm

In one way or another, most books are about human nature. This one is now a best-seller: The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene. 

Have not read it, just noting it. 

An innovative Miami-Dade program shows the way.

Fixed. 

Utopian ideas never cease to find appeal

Doomsday scenarios never cease to find appeal

What was it, anyway? Is it done?

I have only heard Scott Adams discuss "talent stacks" in reference to himself or to Donald Trump. (By the way, he is not a Trump supporter, just an admirer of his skills.)

Adams' point, if you have not heard him, is that there can only be one Tiger Woods who possesses a single world-beating talent, but you can move towards your hopes and dreams quite well if you have a good-sized talent stack of "pretty good" talents and abilities.

By "talents," he seems to mean mainly natural gifts like social skills and social instincts, IQ, appearance, curiosity, comfort with novelty and adventure, adaptability, interpersonal style, sense of humor, athleticism and physical grace, observational skills, communicative skills, and so forth, as they are matched and combined with acquired skills.

We also noted that Adams does not discuss flaws. Sadly, we can be blessed with a decent talent stack but be cursed with a few unfortunate or even one fatal flaw which act as anchors on our lives. People have deficit stacks too, but they are not fun to talk about.

Here's an enjoyable Adams interview: 

There is a thing called "complicated grief," but I feel all grief is complicated. I do not believe that grief ever heals. 

I think griefs scab over, but it doesn't often take much to knock off the scab.  A long-term incapacitating depression after a loss is another matter, but I do not even think that a lengthy mourning is pathological. There is a lot of pain in life. It's part of the deal.

That's the title of this post, but I do not mean to restrict this little discussion to the workplace. The issue is that, wherever men and women congregate regularly, "chemical" attractions occur commonly.

These of course range from very mild to intense. It is difficult for people to focus on what they intend to do when there is a powerful attraction to a nice person of the opposite sex who is in regular proximity and contact.  I have had people say to me "Is there anything you can do to help me get rid of this crush on so and so? It's messing up my workout/job/tennis game, etc."

A colleague and I were talking about this recently, and he (jokingly) suggested that people in that situation should just jump into bed together and eliminate the romantic/sexual tension and eliminate the mystery. "Get it over with. It's just biology."  And of course their are rules about these things in the workplace.

In my view, such things are not necessarily a sign that a person is in a lousy relationship. Could be, but humans are designed to experience these things.

If a close friend confesses to you that some guy or gal at work or somewhere else is driving them nuts with desire, what would you say to them? Would you say"Grow up!"?

They’re a two-billion-dollar industry. But are assessments like the Myers-Briggs more self-help than science?

F*ck Feelings

 The only self-help book you’ll ever need, from a psychiatrist and his comedy writer daughter, who will help you put aside your unrealistic wishes, stop trying to change things you can’t change, and do the best with what you can control—the first steps to managing all of life’s impossible problems.

The famous psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott came up with the term Transitional Object. His idea had to do with things that symbolically connect with Mom during the process of independence and separation.

Since then the term has expanded to encompass a larger territory. We all understand that humans live in conflict between safety and comfort, and adventure and newness. Winnicott, in his psychoanalytic way, connected it all to connection with Mother but it goes beyond that.

Things and ideas that connect us with our past (which includes our orienting culture in general) are meaningful to those who have strong attachments.

Jordan Peterson often speaks of the importance of the instinctive "orienting reflex" in animals and humans. We all observe how much people vary in their fearfulness and adventurousness.  You could view adventurousness as a way of creating excitement by becoming somewhat disoriented, away from safe, familiar, and orienting things, places, and people.

Then for most people, the somewhat disorienting adventure is finished with a return to the things and symbols which signify, or actually are, safe, comfortable, and familiar. Adults do what little kids do.

"Bad seed."  I recently saw the term "unmotivated malignancy" somewhere, and it made me naturally think of cancer. Cancers are unmotivated malignancies.

As a Christian and as a Psychiatrist, I accept that there is a dose of evil in every human being. The 7 Deadly Sins are not a joke and there is a universal need for mercy. However, I have paid attention to people long enough to learn that there are certain people who are strongly destructively-motivated because they were "born that way."  In casual conversation, "toxic" people who can be well-disguised. You could term it a "talent" like a musical talent which demands expression. Scorpions have a talent.

I am not talking about sociopaths necessarily, or other diagnoses like "Borderline."  Just people who were made with a heavy dose of venom in the soul. It requires no medical diagnosis because it's on a normal spectrum, a normal distribution. Perhaps a spiritual diagnosis. Some people also seem blessed with gifts of unbounded grace, gratitude, love, warmth, and forgiveness in their souls, and thank God for that end of the spectrum. 

Interesting to me is not how powerfully malevolent people make others suffer but how skilled such people can be at rationalizing their malevolence and destructiveness.  "My mother was...."  "My Dad was an...." "I got a raw deal..."  "People didn't like me". "I was too good/enviable/bad/rebellious..." "I was abused or bullied by...." And so on. As CS Lewis dramatically illustrated, the devil is subtle and more clever and manipulative than most of us can imagine. It is up to all of us to stand up and defeat those things in ourselves, and to steer clear of them in others.

Contra lots of today's psychology, I have come to believe that some people are born with unusual doses of destructiveness and malevolence, of scheming and manipulativeness, and who take gratification in it. Not criminal murdering sociopaths. It is "unmotivated," if you accept that many or most rationalizations are baloney and simple efforts to maintain some "self-esteem."  In other words, often the "cause" comes after the pattern of behavior. 

Without wanting to get too evangelical on our readers, the devil comes disguised as a friend, a victim, or in the dress of an angel. I am a skeptic about exorcism but I do believe that salvation through Christ can save, reshape, souls. This is not a common view amongst my profession. I am not a "psycho-utopian" (Trademark, Maggie's Farm) in the sense that we would all be wonderful saints if only for this-or-that misfortune, mishap, etc. That is a crazy fantasy.

Evil thoughts are normal for humans. Just thoughts are the limit because we can't help our thoughts. We are all fallen, but to varying degrees. Just my opinion.

Kavanaugh investigators need to see Christine Blasey Ford's therapy records.

She is free to release her therapist's notes to anybody she wants. I can tell you that, as far as psychotherapy goes, I keep few and minimal notes for a multitude of reasons, mostly illegible, and none at all on electronic medical records. Very often, no notes at all. I just follow the process and the progress.  Typical therapy note of mine:

"Career issues. Mood ok. Needs a hobby. Same meds. Good session." 

I am not sure that it matters much, but intense exercise does reduce appetite.

Sedentary lives increase appetite. What is "sedentary"? Less than 7 hrs/week of exertion. Not activity - exertion. 

Why might it not matter?  Because, as I have asserted in the past, in our world of abundance and temptation appetite has little correlation with nutritional needs in adults. In the world of nutritional scarcity in which our distant ancestors lives, it certainly did. Today, we have recreational feeding. It is fun.

There are many reasons why daily exercise is useless for weight loss.  Among them is the fact that a daily hour of "cardio" or calisthenics does not require additional nutrition from one's normal habit.  People who lift heavy two or three days/week probably can use 60-90 gms of protein daily for muscle repair.

People in serious training for physical competition are another category. A 2-3 -hour daily workout has different nutritional needs. Two hours daily of physical training sounds wonderful to me at this point in life. One hour in the gym and one hour of sports practice. Only college kids and the retired have that luxury.

With nutrition, best thing to do is to set goals for your desired fitness and functionality levels and to pursue those in a disciplined way. Same as everything else in life.

So many myths it’s hard to know where to start.  Useful list of nutritional baloney.

A few simple rules to detect the stench of dubious but published psychological studies

The "Taleb's Grandma" Rule is useful.  Example:

Psychologist: You see, Taleb’s grandma, there’s a clear link between washing your hands and justifying album-ranking choices.

Taleb’s Grandma:"> What the fuck are you talking about?

Dilbert creator Scott Adams on his daily podcasts frequently refers to peoples' "skill stacks."  He seems to feel that the height of one's skill stack can be more valuable in achieving life goals than the quality of the skills.  That is, a low stack of A-level skills is often less effective than a tall stack of B-level skills. Obviously, there are unique exceptions at the ends of the bell curves.

Scott Adams admires Trump for having a tall stack of B-level skills.  Scott Adams on Trump etc. yesterday.  Quite clever and amusing about underling behavior. He is right. Everybody thinks his/her boss is an idiot. So did I before I quit having bosses. Now, when my boss is an idiot, it is me.

When I am asked to evaluate a person, I evaluate their strengths and weaknesses. It's basic. 

On that podcast, he advertises his weed-smoking. It doesn't seem to hurt his brain much but he is not the average person.

The Keto diet is a hot topic these days, but it's really nothing new. It's mainly a weight-loss diet with very low-carb (just those in non-root veggies) and high fat.

The idea is to train your body (it does work) to burn fat for energy instead of carbs. When that happens, you excrete ketones mostly in urine. The high fat diet (greens with plenty of olive oil, juicy meat or fish with plenty of butter, etc) stave off hunger and combat carb addiction. That's the idea.

Adjustment to a keto diet can mean enduring the "Keto Flu" for a week or two as the body readjusts to fat burning. 

Everything about getting in to good shape is difficult. 

When an article begins with those words, be as skeptical as you can.  Journalists know little about medicine, science, or statistics, but they know click bait when they see it. 

New study says new studies are oversold:  A systemic review presents damning evidence that journalists are overselling research.