Maggie's Farm

While spending time with my brother, we covered many topics.  Sports mostly, management of friendships, trips, etc.  He is aware my time is limited, and we're looking for paths froward to enjoy what time we have together.

That said, we had one issue in particular.  It now may involve most of the reading I've done this past weekend and how some things are poorly being covered well.

First, I have two articles (which I will not post here because until I review them with doctors I won't claim this to be true, but I will explain why I believe it) which state the CDC blocks testing which has potential opportunity for several reasons.  Mainly, CDC leans heavily into relations and trials pushing work and medical properties from Pharmaceutical companies.  I have, indeed, seen that extensively with the trials I've been reviewing.  It is ALL CDC promoted or approved.  Secondly, a friend recently complained about CDC relationships regarding its pharmaceutical relationships and its efforts to block things which fail to raise money or results with pharmaceuticals preferred and/or managed by CDC and/or politicians.  She gave me a specific example (which I cannot name) where she shifted her son to a different treatment that was NOT CDC approved for diabetes, and he had tremendous gains and improvements as a result using treatments from non-pharmaceutical doctors and medicine.  Sometimes these stories are questionable, but hers is 100% accurate and has been mentioned often - while the CDC often tones it down and hides it. 

Secondly, I have now found 5 websites I need to review with my doctors.  One from a commenter I have wished thank you to - though I suspect the link isn't going to be helpful based on my reading, it is a doctor showing massive cancer successes - always worth conversations even if I may not be coverable.  Several other websites were shared by other friends to me which have new treatments, again with the CDC opposing for no clearly evident support, that has shown some benefits in small trails seeking larger testing.  It uses non-pharmaceutical medicines which have shifted to broader availability and easily attainable prescriptions AS WELL AS additional treatments.  In particular, one is not seeking trials, but is a pro-methylation support and growth for HEALTH AND FOOD to engage improved methylations in people's bodies which often show declines.  The doctor writing casually mentioned some cancers show non-methylation that may find results but did not mention testing.  It utilized several B vitamins as well as several others to assist in methylation and protein improvement via DNA, for general people.  I found this very interesting...yet never mentioned by any doctor.

We have gone to Sandy Hook regularly for many (close to 30) years.  Typically the summer(s).  In fact, I'd say only the summer.  First to walk around, or visit beaches, or just see the old military base which is rather intriguing and a great learning region.  

It has recently shifted and new housing opportunities are being built, and a very nice eating tavern has been there for quite some time.

We have always loved riding bikes up from the basis of entry to the military region and back.  We have also enjoyed walking.  But the usual summer visits led to something we suddenly saw on Jan 1 of 2024.  The existence of seals in the bay!  Not just their existence, which we never had heard, but we'd also never seen pictures or local signs for driving and parking to find or see them!  I'm not saying it never existed - since seeing we're read several articles and lots of information.  In fact, they've been there since the 1970s.  They were at least here in winter of 2014.  However, we've read signs in the region many times - and it was this year stumbled on a few parking and driving signs - very small ones - which led to our visit in the military region.   

We shared this with many local friends, almost none of whom (like us) head to Sandy Hook in the winter.  Either way, not a single one of over 50 people realized the seals had been in Sandy Hook for a very long time.  In my region, that's shocking that nobody tied in to the NJ environmental and natural options were familiar with this.  Sandy Hook seals region was crowded, but almost all locals from nearby, we found.  Usually people walking dogs, which we'd left home assuming we could not bring her.

That said, it was enjoyable and I have yet to meet anyone who knew the seals were there ever.  In a way, I'm ashamed I never knew it.  I'm also a bit wondering how nobody we spoke to was aware, either.  They are enjoyable to watch and take pictures and videos of, however.  They are beautiful. 

Starting with my brother's arrival soon.  He is driving an hour from outside Philadelphia to see me.  He will drive me to radiation at 11am, then to Rahway to solve a license issue for a new one.  I can't order a new one online since it ends in 5 days on my 62nd birthday of March 12.  Apparently, you get this close and they want you in reality rather than handling things online.  So after that, we'll grab lunch and possibly walk some - I am finally feeling exercise.

I signed up for a poker tournament locally.  I've never played PLO and I've won that tournament for Texas Hold 'em several times.  So that was always pleasant.  But since my times are shorted, it's time to learn a newer version.  I do well playing Hold 'em online - oddly the removal of my tumor has actually vastly increased my intelligence oddly.  If you've never seen the movie with John Travolta, "Phenomenon" it isn't too bad.  It's a larger intelligence expansion than I'm experiencing, but the testing (outside of a few words I have trouble remembering for speaking or misspelling, which was non-existent a month ago) is different from me knowing and understanding.  The doctors have started at me with suprrise at how much I understand and speak of everything regarding me, my relationships, my business and other items which they fully did not expect after this operation.  They recognize I understand my own situation extraordinarily well compared to many others.  Both the depth of my issues and the knowledge of the problems and how it is often trialed for testing.

Finally feeling well enough to get started on fixing my January travel expenses for business on 2 trips I'd taken before my illness.  I was too messed up after operation to do anything with that.  I'm now 2 days past a month, so that's a benefit.  And my health is vastly improved.  The doctors are getting me passing for local NJ Cannabis Dispensary for edibles.  I do not use cannabis, haven't many years.  I have not liked it ever since college, really.  However, edibles apparently (based on several friends using chemo) that stop several illnesses from chemo.  That has not happened yet.  But I'll use a little if I get messed up.

Also, many things need effort and interest over the weekend.  Finalize taxes, work on the house, and spending to improve the house.  Frankly I suggested to Mrs. Bulldog to sell one old 15 year car which needs a new timing belt (over $4,000 to fix, but just trading it will add $2,000 to a new car).  She'd rather pay too much to fix it and keep it for 2 years as after 2 years with me gone - who needs a second car?  We have a disagreement on that.  Also suggesting we sell the house rather than pay to fix it all.  I told her a smaller place for her to live in is preferable after I'm gone.  Let the buyer pay for our home now, pay way less for a smaller home.  That's a conversation for this weekend, I suppose.

Pastor next week on my birthday to speak with students so they can learn about life difficulty.  An odd conversation with the sociology administrator at the hospital was learning a lot.  She loved my very rare attitude and approach.  She pointed out people rarely consider or think about the fact that everyone dies.  As a result, life is often managed over the fact they are living now as is - often leading to difficulties and disagreements (or worse).  Once you know the ending (as I do) your life and efforts change.  Few change it the same way - often it's related to fear, annoyance or scare.  She was pleased with my open conversation and belief that death happens, anyway - so why get upset or worry now?  It's a waste of time.  When you don't have a timing like mine, she pointed out, there are lots of other issues people engage.  Because you forget you never know when things happen or end.  It is intriguing.

One final conversation.  Dogs.  I love my little dog.  Not an English Bulldog like my first two.  A French Bulldog we rescued after a mill planned to kill it after it had several puppy birth groups.  Many of these mills are just awful and do not care about dogs except to make money from puppies.  Rescues get a push from people saying helping mills is poorly thought out.  I disagree.  We originally planned to just foster the dog for 2 weeks and release it to someone who wanted it.  But at her 5th year, when we rescued her, I fell in love with her.  A co-speaker commented that, as I die, I will have the chance to finally se"e my last 2 again, as well as my current one someday.  I agreed and reminded her that there is a wonderful Twilight Zone TV show - one I think is the best.  The link to The Hunt.  I studied Twilight Zone while I was studying TV Production in college as part of my 3 way major/minor.  Serling was from Syracuse and it often aired in his shows.  All his programming was genius while I was a child.  Double, if not triple true today.  So many people pass on it now.  My sons still love it - and my boys are film/TV geniuses, even though neither had it as a major as I did.  I could share their lists and I may after my birthday.  Lots worth seeing.

While I wish it was something far more open about survival longer than expectations (which anything is possible, however unlikely), I got some interesting information.  One person shared a book in comments - thank you!  I have ordered it.  

To me, it's a winner.  Neurosurgeons who know patients with limited times and low expectations and how to handle it.  I consider that a blessing.

Oddly, I received a call early today.  From a bit of a distant friend of a friend from Cincinnati.  My friend had lived there before having to move to California (where she hates it now and blames Gavin Newsom as an absolute horrific holder of an office that somehow keeps winning and having press supporting his absolute horror, leading her to leave).  That oddness of California aside, my friend introduced us to her friends in Cincinnati.  While my son attended college in Miami, Ohio, I often had rooms in Cincinnati and would meet them locally for great times.  They were wonderful people.

One thing I have is 6 weeks off.  No work.  But I have learned a few things.  

I'd like to thank one commenter who shared a book lead for me to order it  I have not read it yet.  I have, over the past few days, read a few articles about my specific issue.  It is, indeed, a strange one.  15 months, not 18 (which my brain keeps telling me) is the average period left for non-methylated versions of Glio Blastoma.   Naturally that's an average.  I have heard 18 and longer for a few people.  Oddly it is not frightening at all, nor is it saddening.  I don't know why.  I did feel bad playing with my little dog today, as she wakes up for a bit a small wrestle with me each morning.  I did feel a bit sad because I've lost two previous dogs, and I'm afraid I'll pass before my current one.  That said, I do look forward to seeing them all again.

I read the news this AM.  Quite a bit about politics and the Fed.  Nikki Haley is seeing a relatively "larger" level of voting, but she is not winning at all, really (except DC).  One article points out that her voting is in states which allow Democrats to vote on non-Democratic votes.  However, she will likely end her ballots after Super Tuesday.   A few Democrats, noting Biden's ultimately declining opportunities are hoping for alternatives to Trump, at which point Biden may beat Nikki.  Or at least they feel Nikki is not as "bad" as Trump.  While I favor none of the current political choices, I'd definitely say she'd be a mild improvement over Biden, but still hardly supportable, though she was when she worked under Trump.  I felt bad for her when she jumped ship after 2020.

The Fed has a massive problem growing.  Really at least two at this point.  First, wages are still growing faster than inflation.  Which does not mean inflation will fall.  In fact, the bigger issue is the massive Jan 2024 growth (most in about 2 years) that nobody who is a "professional" was predicting (I had, mainly because it was overdue).  The Fed is planning to reduce rates.  That's a bad idea as inflation becomes a bit more troublesome.  They should have had at least one more increase several months ago - that may have helped reduce inflation further without too much trouble.  Sadly, they are pushing for lower rates for political Biden/Democrat support.  A terrible idea.  I had feared a potential decline in inflation if they had pushed too far and too fast.  But they did less and slower.  Not a bad idea, but they did not go far enough.  Anyone with a basic understanding would know this already.

Interestingly, as the chemo and radiation has kicked in, I'm sleeping well still (lucky) and my interests have increased.  Some things (like economics) had dropped off but for some reason I've been reading more lately and I do not know why.  LOL but that's a good.  I've done a ton of Roman History reading - it is rather reminding of how truly awful Democats are if you mix and match behaviors of misleading leaders and activists in the past with those in the current era.  I've long felt it would come to play, and it has, though in a significantly different way than I'd originally expected.  Biden, in particular, has moved far beyond the earlier eras in Rome I was comparing to (I thought Sulla vs Marius was likely - I have long since been proven Biden is moving several hundred years PAST that era with more authoritarian attempts and growth of government overspending).  He is, in fact, rather frightening to me.

Anyway, I'm heading out to radiation yet again and hoping to find a massage to get the muscles feeling better.  Hopefully soon.  Hoped to be back in the gym, but felt off on Monday and Tuesday but getting back to feeling better now. 

3/4, Monday, was full of a ton of news which is beginning to show how small portions of the Republicans, but mostly Democrats, are failing massively.  SCOTUS eliminated almost all the anti-Trump ballot attempts - and the vote was 9-0, though some Democrats made a few key points.  Democrats pushing for that, at the state level, failed.  A certain troll seemed to say it was perfectly "legal" when we all knew it wasn't.  Once more a silly attempt by this flawed idiot drawing attention to useless information sources and flawed politicians shifting laws to pursue their personal idiocy goals.

Also noted, massive flaws by Hunter Biden.  Which most of us have knwon about for a long time.  But it continues to be hidden by politicians and the FBI which was assigned as a "friendly source" by Democrats (2 former members of the FBI are friends of mine and have complained of this nonsense since they left 6 years ago).  Non-FBI people will claim the FBI is always trying to protect legally.  This simply isn't true.  And more evidence continues to indicate their path of trying to support Demorats is flawing more and more.

A final note is that more information is coming out that many Jan 6 people who were found "guilty" may see more of this removed.  It's a matter of time.  Some of them certainly do deserve some guilt - let's be open and honest that several did some pretty bad behaviors.  Most have not.  So most of the ones found guilty are a joke of politicians exceeding their value.  Demcorats and a few pro-Democrat Republicans who not only hid information, but destroyed quite a bit to protect themselves.  I've known MANY people who went there on Jan 6.  Several were called to be potentially found 'guilty' but managed to twist out with good lawyers.  Many others have not had good lawyers and faced lawsuits against them.

Stuff is slowly improving, though.  Democrats look more and more dangerous rather than helpful.

It has been a long week, but a lot occurred.

There have been at least 10 calls or meetings with my doctors and learned several issues.  It isn't that doctors withhold information, but sometimes trials and treatments are described certain ways to push for particular outcomes.  In my particular situation, there are, literally, very few of great benefit.  As a result, one we had originally signed up for early, we quickly dropped out of taking part as a member.  We learned a lot about no outcomes at all for my particular issue.  We also learned about significant reduced health as part of it and a switch in my chemo drugs - which have significantly lower results.  So we dropped out and switched to the original chemo for sllightly better near term results.  We shall see.

I also had to attend a speech therapist from the oncologists themselves.  I took several tests and ran several case studies for an hour and a half.  I found my math, history and speaking skills were better than my graduate studies.  I also found my ability to remember music, movies and certain names of known actors or singers to be sufficiently less - but also that was common among people my age.  Another test, which required my naming several word categories within a minute to be well done - except for one.  Words starting with the letter "M" and no names, did well for 40 seconds and stalled as one word dropped out of my head and I was dragging behind to spell it out and remember it.  This identified a very high area to help improve my mentality where I have stalled.  That said, she asked many business and corporate questions which were not stalled or slow at all.  She was rather shocked by this in media as I exposed several concerns with journalists I'd had issues with - and they were backed up in her data, as well as my ability to describe a lawsuit I had closed with a previous employer, as well as my description of several previous depositions which I'd taken part of and my ability to not only remember them (though dates I doubt I could provide) I did know what was covered.

Sorry, been extremely busy and traveling this past week.  Many visits to my doctors and updates on starting my chemo and radiation tonight and tomorrow.  Hoping for some extensions from benefits.  The reason I am adding this was an hour with my Pastor.  I'll write more about that meeting.  However, we spoke about 1 Samuel 8, politics (and my specific reason for leaving masses due to political statements often misguided due to not speaking about 1 Samuel 8, and he admitted he was behind on it) and the fact I've written versions of this 3 times.  Once in college for a class that earned me zero grades.  Once in grad school which led to a shift in a former leftist set of professors who often misstated Biblical versions of political views.  And the third was in 2011 here on Maggie's.  Enjoy and feel free to comment.  It will be my 5th writing (since I sent this and some updates) to all my friends recently).

The first political systems, from an institutional standpoint, were monarchies.  Monarchs either considered themselves gods, chosen by 'the gods', or "Chosen by God".  In almost every sense, the political system was tied somehow to the spiritual beliefs of the nation.  

During a college course on Democracy, my professor spent the better part of an hour and a half discussing the implications of this concept.  He pointed out that God Himself chose Israel's first king, and approved of their choosing a king.  I immediately raised my hand and asked "But God didn't want Israel to have a king, did He?  He considered Himself their king and allowed them to have Judges which acted as their spiritual and moral guides on earth."