Maggie's Farm

Well, it's a bad day all around. For you, I mean. I'm swell. You have to face the work and worry that Monday brings with it, and you have to face it without Bird Dog. He's at the vet again, so you're stuck with me, Roger de Hauteville. We get Bird Dog de-wormed every year, because we love him so, and love to take care of him. Of course we don't bring him to be de-wormed until after fishing season is over, because worms are expensive. We're not made of stone, but we're not made of money, either. On to today's links.

Handler beliefs affect scent detection dog outcomes

In the early twentieth century, a horse named Clever Hans was believed to be capable of counting and other mental tasks. The psychologist Oskar Pfungst confirmed that Clever Hans was in fact recognizing and responding to minute, unintentional postural and facial cues of his trainer or individuals in the crowd.

Do tell. File this one under: Educated persons discovering common sense by accident. Hasn't anyone in academia ever heard of the effect of a shill before? They seem to understand the concept just fine when they're disrupting televised town hall meetings. Hi, I'm just a concerned citizen...

She Wanted a Man With a Good Job Who Is Nice to Animals

So I designed an elaborate, weeklong wedding proposal that included a writing class, rock climbing and a party at an urban winery. After Ilse said yes, she moved into what is now our condo, bringing her cat, Dori, who became fast friends with Dusty, napping together and sharing food. My goal was to marry in June so Ilse could reclaim that month with a fond memory. I asked Dusty to be in my wedding party. “Maybe he can tie my tie,” I thought. Ilse and I registered for small appliances and dishes. Everything changed.

In case you're wondering, Dusty is a dog. The New York Times new slogan should be: All the solipsism that's fit to print.

The Pompeii sorcerer's trunk: Archaeologists discover mysterious treasure trove in buried Roman town filled with dolls, skulls and miniature PENISES

Archaeologists have uncovered a trunk at Pompeii containing a vast variety of fascinating objects that may have been part of a 'sorcerer's treasure trove'. The objects include crystals, amber and amethyst stones, buttons made of bones, beetles from the orient, amulets, dolls, bells, fists, a tiny skull - and even miniature penises. Experts say the objects may have been used in rituals for fertility, seduction, or to seek good omens for a birth or pregnancy, although they stress that this is just a theory.

Ah, the Daily Mail. The newspaper put that last word in their headline in all caps, not me. Like a good fisherman, they know how to jiggle the bait. But I doubt that the miniature trouser snake angle will prove out in the body of the article. I've read Under the Tuscan Sun, and several other books about women with turkey necks moving to Italy, and it's not the miniature kind they're looking for, or discovering there. Try farther east.

Scientists detect a black hole swallowing a neutron star

Scientists are still analysing the data to confirm the exact size of the two objects, but initial findings indicate the very strong likelihood of a black hole enveloping a neutron star. The final results are expected to be published in scientific journals. "Scientists have never detected a black hole smaller than five solar masses or a neutron star larger than about 2.5 times the mass of our Sun," Professor Scott said. "Based on this experience, we're very confident that we've just detected a black hole gobbling up a neutron star.

I knew a man who liked to tell people that they weren't really sitting on a chair, when they sat on a chair. He'd exclaim that the matter in their body and the matter in the chair repelled each other at the atomic level, so in reality, they were actually hovering above the chair, not sitting on it. I threw an apple at his head once, to remind him that only Isaac Newton matters to regular people. I wonder if I want to throw an apple at Professor Scott?

Report: Facebook Content Mods Say Company Therapists Were Pressured to Share Session Details

Adding to an already ridiculously long list of complaints, now Facebook’s content moderators say a higher-up asked company-appointed counselors to share information from their sessions, according to a new report from the Intercept. Numerous investigations have described this workforce as notoriously underpaid and overworked in crappy working conditions that require them to scan through some of the most disturbing posts the internet can offer. You know, all the things it might behoove someone to see a therapist about.

At the bottom of this article, you'll find a handy Facebook tracking beacon, er, I mean share button. You know, for your convenience.

How internet that's beamed from space could create new jobs

Elon Musk’s SpaceX also plans to launch a constellation of internet-beaming satellites, as does Amazon. There may eventually be more than one satellite network competing to offer broadband internet around the world this way. The impact this could have on employment is staggering.

The author is an Elon Musketeer, so I have my doubts. Especially since I understand that the intent and effect of the internet, however delivered, is to turn ten good jobs into one crappy one. Or one good job into ten crappy ones, if you're Uber. It's a fair tradeoff though, because instead of any silly benefits like a retirement fund or health insurance, there's foosball and smoothie bars in the WeWork office for the winners.

SoftBank to lend its workers billions to invest in its giant VC fund

SoftBank Group is leaning on its employees, including Chief Executive Masayoshi Son, for cash as the firm rushes to raise an ambitious technology fund amid volatile markets. The Japanese company plans to lend up to $20 billion to its employees to buy stakes in its second giant venture-capital fund, people familiar with the matter said. Son may account for as much as $15 billion of that amount, some of the people said.

Hmm. This is quite the development. Why back in my day, you whippersnappers, we kept our money laundering to ourselves. Now they issue a press release.

West Virginia man charged with triggering bomb scare by scattering rice cookers in a Manhattan subway station is held on $200,000 bond

Family members have previously revealed to DailyMail.com that Griffin has a history of drug abuse and drug addiction, and had recently been panhandling in New York to survive. Jason Griffin, his brother, explained to DailyMail.com that the 26-year-old had been homeless and mentally ill and believes his actions may have been 'a cry for help'.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. And the going is most definitely getting weird.

38% of economists expect recession next year

A majority of economists predict that the economy will lapse into a recession either next year or in 2021. In a survey set to be released Monday by the National Association for Business Economics, 38% respondents said they believe the country will face a recession in 2020 and 34% said they think the start date for a recession will be a bit later, in 2021, the Associated Press reported.

For some reason, this reminds me of the signs you once saw painted on the walls in tawdry barrooms: Free Beer Tomorrow

China is paying Twitter to publish propaganda against Hong Kong protesters

Twitter has caught itself in a propaganda war after it was found running ads from China’s state-backed media outlet Xinhua News attacking the Hong Kong protesters. The promoted tweets (aka ads) — which were captured on social bookmarking site Pinboard — talk about how the escalating violence in the territory has “taken a heavy toll on social order,” while some others were about Hong Kong citizens allegedly calling China is “our motherland.”

When will people learn that social media is only for fake viral propaganda, not paid propaganda. The ads are strictly reserved for selling T shirts with anti-Trump slogans. Sheesh.

Well, that's the news roundup for Monday. Don't let current events get you down. Go about your business, and have a nice day. But if I were you, I wouldn't bring any rice cookers onto the NYC subway today. The bomb sniffing dogs are bound to be getting unintentional postural and facial cues from just about everyone, not just their handlers today.