Monday, May 12. 2008
 Lots of links.
Saturday, May 10. 2008
A re-post: A few nifty finds: New York City in Pictures, with "every street and every building in NY"; NewYorkology is a site with depth and detail, with tips for visitors and residents, including the location of the Whispering Gallery in Grand Central Station, which is quite near my favorite spot in the world for oyster stew and a beer, the famous and venerable Oyster Bar & Restaurant, which, along with oysters from all ends of the earth, almost always offers the rarest and very best oyster on earth, Wellfleets , with their subtle nutty flavor derived from the Herring River which flows into the harbor of Bird Dog's favorite town on his native Cape Cod. Then there's NY Architectural images - cool building photos listed by neighborhood. Oldbars lists - with photos - some of NYC's oldest, including McSorleys, where I have both booted and rallied in youth, back before 1970 when women weren't allowed in; and, since we're on bars, there's the unique The Campbell Apartment, if you can find it; Forgotten New York is a good ramble; and the new Tenement Museum has been getting a lot of attention, but I haven't been there.
Friday, May 9. 2008
Little Walter on harmonica with Hound Dog Taylor and the Houserockers, Wild About You, Baby, 1967.
Over the transom: As a young minister in Kentucky, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be buried there. I was not familiar with the backwoods area, and I soon became lost. Being a typical man, I did not stop to ask for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the open grave, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. The digging crew was eating lunch. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and I stepped to the side of the open grave. There I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, as I told them that this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around the grave and stood silently, as I began to pour out my heart and soul. As I preached about "looking forward to a brighter tomorrow" and "the glory that is to come," the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord," and "Glory!" The fervor of these men truly inspired me. So, I preached and I preached like I had never preached before, all the way from Genesis to Revelations. I finally closed the lengthy service with a prayer, thanked the men, and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I heard one of the workers say to another, "I ain't NEVER seen nothin' like that before, and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for 30 years!"
Samuel Finley Morse Badger of Massachusetts, aka Sam Badger, aka Solon Francis Montecello Badger, painted ship portraits. This is the schooner Edward H. Cole: 
Wednesday, May 7. 2008
 "The national median home price for existing homes is just over $200,000 right now. Knowing how difficult it is to find a home for that price in some areas of the country, I decided to do a little research to see how much it would cost to buy a '$200,000 home' in different cities."
That median house in Topeka: $115,000. In Greenwich: $1,400,000. Average home prices, at A Comparison of US Home Prices. (h/t, Wall St. Fighter) 
Photos: Larger photo is a $1,495,000 home in Greenwich, CT. The other is a $109,000 home in Topeka, KS. I believe I could have a fine life in anything with a roof, as long as I have my fireplace, my broadband, and a place to grow tomatoes.
 Some friends are leaving soon for a ten-day Ireland golf trip.
There seems to be some agreement that the Royal County Down Golf Club is the best links course in the world. They will also play Ballybunion and some of the other famous links courses. I find it pleasant that Ballybunion has their etiquette listed at their site. That's Nicklaus at the 4th tee in 2001.
Tuesday, May 6. 2008
 Our Dylanologist is flying to Prague today for a visit with friends, thence by train to Rome to work for a few months.
He will need to dust off his Italian, but I know he can do that. For what it's worth, his conversational Latin isn't bad either, for a Protestant. We trust that he will be able to continue his Thursday free ads for Bob Dylan, and that he will send us some fresh photos. Especially train photos. And photos of Roman and Greek ruins. Bon voyage, and Arrivederci. Photo: Bridges of Prague
I am heading down to NYC today to see Claudio Bravo's show at the Marlborough Gallery. This is his Terracotta Triptych (oil on canvas): 
Monday, May 5. 2008
The link about make-up for men somehow randomly led me to this, and our doubtless thousands of crossdressing and transvestite readers will be happy to know that there is a Crossdressing Support site. Deep down, every guy wonders what it feels like to be a girl, don't they? And vice-versa.
Over the transom: Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done? Today I am a man
Tomorrow I will return
to the seventh grade. More below -
Continue reading "Jewish Haiku"
It's not a Grand Banks trawler - it's a 1970 "Grand Banks-type," which makes it more affordable. Nice 50' boat. A single guy or gal could live on her quite happily. 
Friday, May 2. 2008
 A quote from Allan Gurganus' The Lessons of Likeness: being a true history of Thomas Eakin's Portrait of Walt Whitman:
This oil portrait braids the sagas of two self-described toughs: Walt Whitman very much of Brooklyn-New York and Thomas Eakins, a definite Philadelphian. A couple of American pioneers, the John Muir of literature and at least the Kit Carson of 19th century Main Line aesthetics! Of all the portraits depicting our nation’s outsized Gandolphian wizards, I have fixed on this one for the simplest reason: I love the work of both sitter and artist. Their efforts go on changing and enlarging my own efforts. Respect and awe leading to love—surely that’s at least the beginning of an understanding?
Image: Walt Whitman, shortly before his death, by Thomas Eakins
Thursday, May 1. 2008
The laws regarding the importation of any Cuban products - including cigars - into the US are unambiguous and harsh. However, I do not think that they are enforced with any vigor. These laws seem to be a testament to the political power of the Cuban emigree population in Florida, who (rightly) hate Fidel so much that they are (wrongly, I feel) willing to harm all Cubans economically. Re cigars, the history is that, prior to the embargo in the 60s, it was Cuban tobacco that was in demand - not Cuban cigars (which were a small part of the market). The best hand-made cigars were built with Cuban tobacco fillers and Connecticut wrappers in Miami, Tampa, and New Jersey. 
Editor: Juan Paxety corrects some of The B's assumptions, in the comments.
Wednesday, April 30. 2008
Tuesday, April 29. 2008
My current favorite smoke: Macanudo 1993 Vintage No. 2. Spicy. Definitely needs no aging in ye olde humidificatorium. By the way, do not expect me to ever discuss Cubans here. 
Monday, April 28. 2008
We posted a painting by James Buttersworth last week. This one, Welcome Home, is by his father, Thomas (1768-1842). 
Saturday, April 26. 2008
After a long hiatus, they're back. Here are a couple of brick bungalows, of a style very common in the streetcar neighborhoods of Nashville, built for middle-class families in the 1920s (these two are both from the Edgehill neighborhood, close to Vanderbilt). They don't try to be flashy, but are solid, well-proportioned homes that are now far more popular among buyers than their much more recently-built ranch style counterparts in the same neighborhood. 
The Greeks colonized Poseidonia - now Paestum - on the south-west coast of Italy (90 miles south of Napoli) around 650 BC. Poseidonia became the Roman city Paestum in 273 BC. Paestum contains the finest complex of Greek temples in the world, which was discovered in 1762 by a road crew. They were built before the Parthenon was completed in the 400s (BC). The modern town of Paestum is a seaside resort, but the reason to go there is to see the Greek temples outside of town. Our Dylanologist did just that (and brought me back a Paestum t-shirt!). The splendid, if heavy-looking, Doric temple in this photo is known as The Temple of Hera ll. 
Here's a photo of the 450 BC Temple of Hera l, later rededicated to Neptune. More info on the Hera l temple here. Here's a photo bank of the contents of the Paestum Archaeological Museum. A bit of commentary from the Great Buildings Online website: When the ruins of Paestum were 'rediscovered' by 'antiquaries'—chiefly Johann Joachim Winckelmann—in the 1750s, "the ruins [were] then made widely known, and an enthusiastic appreciation of Greek art and architecture was also sparked...Because of Paestum, the Classic Revival was born with Greece, not Rome, ascendant." — Deborah Fritz from G. E. Kidder Smith. Looking at Architecture. p16. The three Paestum temples are all in the Archaic Doric style of heavy columns with capitals that are squat, or as Goethe termed them, 'oppressive.' By the time the Parthenon was finished (438 B.C.), columns were elegantly slender, capitals had an alert, load-bearing profile, and refinement attended every detail. Moreover, they were carved from Parian marble; Paestum's now crudely exposed shellstone shafts, it is only fair to say, were originally covered with lime stucco. As in Greece proper, the temples at Paestum face easterly so that the rising sun will awaken the statue within." — G. E. Kidder Smith. Looking at Architecture. p16.
Friday, April 25. 2008
"It may be perpetual motion, but it will take forever to test it."
A site for perpetual motion machines and other things that don't work. (Toon from the site). h/t Neatorama
James Buttersworth (1817-1894) is probably the best-known maritime artist. He worked out of New Jersey and Brooklyn. This is Yachts Racing in the Upper Bay, 1860. 
Thursday, April 24. 2008
 This one goes out to Dr. Mercury, who was craving a somewhat more patriotic offering after our Dylan post earlier today. Fair and balanced. Would you believe it, though, that Dylan actually toured with Merle just a couple years ago? And one of the songs of Dylan's last album was directly inspired by Merle's classic "Workingman's Blues"? They have more in common than one might imagine. Anyways, here is the Red State answer to "Masters of War:"
"I hear people talkin' bad,
About the way we have to live here in this country,
Harpin' on the wars we fight,
An' gripin' 'bout the way things oughta be.
I don't mind 'em switchin' sides,
An' standin' up for things they believe in.
But when they're runnin' down our country, man,
They're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
Yeah, walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
Runnin' down the way of life,
Our fightin' men have fought and died to keep.
If you don't love it, leave it:
Let this song I'm singin' be a warnin'.
If you're runnin' down our country, man,
You're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
I read about some squirrely guy,
Who claims he just don't believe in fightin'.
An' I wonder just how long,
The rest of us can count on bein' free.
They love our milk an' honey,
But they preach about some other way of livin'.
When they're runnin' down our country, hoss,
They're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
Yeah, walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
Runnin' down the way of life,
Our fightin' men have fought and died to keep.
If you don't love it, leave it:
Let this song I'm singin' be a warnin'.
If you're runnin' down our country, man,
You're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
Yeah, walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
Runnin' down the way of life,
Our fightin' men have fought and died to keep.
If you don't love it, leave it:
Let this song I'm singin' be a warnin'.
If you're runnin' down our country, man,
You're walkin' on the fightin' side of me."
Wednesday, April 23. 2008
 Several of us Maggie's Farmers enjoy visiting Scotland and Turkey (the fact that we love visiting Italy goes without saying, and our Italian- and Latin-speaking Dylanologist will be there soon, working this summer).
Turkey has the exotic feel, the food, the people, the scenery - and the history. This is how I plan to do my next visit to Turkey. Meanwhile, I hear from Bird Dog that he is planning to join a church trip to Israel. He has been to Turkey, too, and loves the country.
The Cornell Farm, 1848. It is believed that Hicks was schooled in sign-painting: his primitivism was no affectation. He was also a Quaker minister. This pictures the Cornell farm's (Bucks Country, PA) prize animals. 
Monday, April 21. 2008
 Coming soon to your town.
This could be some competition for Dunkin Donuts. I like the red bandana idea.
 Gwynnie thinks that Maggie’s readers in the northeastern United States must without hesitation get themselves to the New Britain Museum of American Art before June 29 to see the current exhibit “All Things Bright and Beautiful: California Impressionist Paintings from the Irvine Museum”.
The New Britain’s brilliant director, Douglas Hyland, has put together yet another fabulous show at this gem of a museum.
Sunday, April 20. 2008
That's a quote via Kimball on how Ms. Shvarts has inadvertently helped us draw a line between primitive barbarity and art. Indeed, the bar for nauseating the bourgeoisie keeps getting higher, doesn't it, as pop culture digs down into depravity, ugliness, and psychosis for cheap and easy thrills, chills, and barfs? It gave me a cool idea though: I could mix some Texas Medicine with some Railroad Gin, get the video rolling, puke my mind and brains out, and become a famous artist. $$$$. Maybe get recruited as a Junior Assistant Curator at the Whitney. More good comments on the dehumanization of art from Small Dead Animals and SC&A, As Dr. Bob comments: One wants to rail at a society gone mad, at a civilization which has lost its bearings and moral compass, at a decadence fed by materialism and secularism, force-fed with the rotgut wine of postmodern relativism, drunk with the notion that ideas have no consequence and idols worshiped bring no destruction. Yet the time for such anguished mourning seems long past, its passing but a point in a pitiful past history. We have, it seems, entered the post-human age. Our secular prophets have heralded the Good News: there is no God; we are but accidental apes. We have been liberated from the bondage of religion and morals; we are, at last, in this twenty-first century, at the pinnacle of human achievement and potential. The shackles of superstition are broken, the potential of man unbounded, his glory unlimited but by the constraints of his imagination.
My opinion? Tasteless, no-talent attention-seekers have always been with us, as have individuals who find it adventurous (and yet all-too effortless) to degenerate to their inner ape - or to their inner dog turd. What I found most telling in this entire pathetic and disgusting story was Yale's inability to stand for anything. Perhaps their motto should be changed from "Lux et Veritas" to "Whatever." That would be "Progressive," and more accurate. But, even so, how do you explain to your parents the $180,000 they paid for that exclusive "education"?
Saturday, April 19. 2008
 The fellow at Dovetail Designs makes very nice custom humidors.
We are urging our friend Sippy to do the same.
 It has been in the back of my mind for some time to do some research about the history of the elevator, without which we would have no buildings much over 6 stories.
There's a good, entertaining piece on The Lives of Elevators by Nick Paumgarten in The New Yorker: you will learn something. (h/t, Norm)
Friday, April 18. 2008
 Whenever Teddy Roosevelt experienced a loss or deep disappointment, he would head off on an adventure - sometimes reckless ones. A paragraph from Candice Millard's fascinating The River of Doubt: Theodore Roosevelt's Darkest Journey:
"Roosevelt had also concluded that his old friend Father Zahm was not suited to the treacherous passage down the uncharted river. Zahm, like Miller, would continue with the expedition until it reached the River of Doubt, but at that point he would be shunted off to another, less challenging journey. "Father Zahm has now been definitely relegated from the Rio da Duvida trip and goes down the Guy Parana," Kermit wrote to his mother. Even though the trip had been Zahm's idea in the first place and, at his age and with his failing health, he was unlikely to return to the Amazon, few members of the expedition shed any tears for him. "All for each, and each for all, is a good motto," Roosevelt had once written, "but only on condition that each works with might and main to so maintain himself as not to be a burden to others." " Photo: Roosevelt with Col. Rondon in South America. Roosevelt lost 57 lbs. during the 1500-mile exploration, and nearly died of malaria and dysentery. He never fully recovered from the ravages of the dangerous and grueling trip down the River of Doubt.
Mount Tom, 1865. That is the Connecticut River in the foreground, near Northampton, MA. 
Thursday, April 17. 2008
It all started with Enron. The company was just too clever and set aside moral scruples in a feverish drive to maximize reported (as opposed to real economic) earnings.
The next step was auditors, who traditionally were employed by companies’ boards to check the math in the financial statements and ensure that balance sheets balanced.
Occasionally, under suspicious circumstances, they were instructed to conduct what were termed “fraud audits”, where they really took a close look at things like cash, receipts and bank accounts to see if someone was cheating or embezzling.
When Enron’s frauds came out, there was a frantic drive to find someone with significant economic resources - other than Enron’s crooked officers - who could be blamed. Enron’s auditors, Arthur Anderson, long reputed to be the toughest firm in the country, took the hit for not identifying the frauds they were not paid to investigate. Lawyers and frantically grandstanding officials declared Anderson to be guilty, and applied a pre-trial death penalty for the entire firm for the conduct of the partner on the Enron account. Not only was this in gross violation of the U.S. Constitutional requirement of a fair trial, it was enforcement of a notion of collective guilt previously unseen in Western democracies, and it put thousands of Anderson’s innocent employees out of work. As the gentle reader might recall, Anderson received a post-mortem judgment of “not guilty”.
Well, the accounting profession was not pleased, and began to look for a way to strike back.Next, the Securities and Exchange Commission got involved. The SEC had been established to ensure that securities offering documents and corporate reports to shareholders contained full disclosure. Accused by the press and Congress of lax enforcement, the SEC sought to find a way to co-opt the private sector as enforcers of Federal securities laws, and found lawyers and accountants an easy choice, declaring them responsible for finding and reporting any corporate hanky-panky that might be occurring, making corporate advisors into government snitches, and vastly increasing their risk of doing business.
Again, the accounting profession was not pleased, and its counter-attack came when accounting standards boards around the world invented (over corporate objections) a new system they thought was more theoretically pure, called “fair value accounting” with particular aim taken at the recent innovations in financial derivatives. These rules require assets to be valued at whatever someone will pay for them at any given moment.
As an example of the impact of Fair Value rules, if the Kondratiev family were a public company and - like a lot of people - not able to sell our house right now, we would have to write its value way down and take an “accounting loss” for that entire amount, making us technically bankrupt even though we know the house will indeed sell this year or next. Fortunately as a family, we don’t have to follow those moronic rules, and can wait and live in our home until the housing market recovers.
What’s worse, if a public company owns some sophisticated assets like esoteric options that don’t trade often, the rules require that they value them in accordance with a black-box mathematical model – and isn’t that the greatest opportunity for fraud yet invented? Then, if it later happens that there are few buyers of those options, accountants will require around 55% write-off in their value, even if the underlying assets have not diminished in value. Remember when some banks were required to write down assets fully secured by US Treasuries?
Nevertheless, our ivory-tower CPAs hold that regardless of a notion of long-term real value, if you cannot sell something today it has little – or no – value. Just look at the ultimate market proof that that notion is intrinsically false – private equity funds are snapping up these securities by the armload as soon as the banks write them down, and Kondratiev confidently predicts that some Great Fortunes will be made by those funds over the next three years. Business Week will predictably have a cover feature on the brilliant investors who gambled on purchasing deeply-discounted, scorned securities and against all odds won big. Ja. Remember where you read it.
To make a long story short, between SEC rules and new accounting standards, company financial statements are now unreadable by almost everybody except a tiny group of trained professionals, and companies are now having to add annexes to their financial statements that say things like "our audited statements are presented in accordance with Generally Accepted Accounting Principles, but as such they are not useful in managing our business, so the following figures are the (unaudited) numbers we actually use to manage our business.”
Furthermore, and more importantly, the accounting deck has now been so stacked that every possible financial negative is emphasized and every possible financial positive is deferred. The result for us analysts and investors is that current financial statements are for most part presented in a way that grossly understate the real worth of companies.
“But,” you may well ask, “how did Bear Stearns so overvalue its assets?” Answer: it didn’t. Bear Stearns owned pools of residential mortgages, yours and mine, that might have a default rate of 5% in hard times, 15% in a depression, and was forced to write them down to nothing simply because, like our house, nobody was buying that day. As we wrote earlier this week, Bloomberg and everybody else (except the accounting rulers) knows that the foreclosure rate is expected to be 1.99%, which means that JPMorgan as purchaser of Bear will probably collect over 99% of the face amount of these mortgages, even if the foreclosed properties sell for half the loan balance. Only an accountant could insist that those mortgage pools had an accounting value of 40-45%.
Thousands of innocent people will be thrown out of work due to an intellectual ivory-tower artificiality perpetrated by the Financial Accounting Standards Board and the SEC.
The accountants’ revenge is complete.
Wednesday, April 16. 2008
 Staying in the dating game.
Parents often disagree with kids' choices of spouse (oh, really?) Do people really like having kids? The breakdown of marriage costs the taxpayers $112 billion/year. Jules. Makes the cost of Iraq seem insignificant. Well, I guess there's always gay marriage as an alternative, but Michael Coren says it's a big mistake. Plus many find it distasteful, as a concept. OK, now for the good news: me. Contentedly married with one wife, four kids, four horses, and three dogs - love 'em all, most of the time.
 Norwich VT (properly pronounced "norrich,") population 3000, is directly across the Connecticut River from Hanover, NH. The two towns in different states share a school district, which I believe is unique.
What caught my eye was this handsome place:  Built in 1998, but looks right for the land. I like the attached barn, but the place only has 19 acres. Asking price $3,450,000. Things are not cheap in New England these days. You can read about this house here.
Tuesday, April 15. 2008
Here's a 2008 review of this 43 year-old dancing pheenom. Here's a brief excerpt from a solo piece.
Finally got around to finding this depressing piece on the Pacific Ocean's garbage dump.
 From Frank Furedi's The Truth about Music, at Spiked:
There is no ‘truer truth’ than that which comes through music, said Robert Browning. Which makes today’s transformation of music into a tool of social policy all the more tragic.
and The idea that classical music is elitist has become an article faith in the area of art and educational policy. It is premised on the belief that ordinary folk lack the aesthetic or intellectual resources to appreciate any experience that soars above ‘common culture’. Consequently, music apparently must be recycled in a form that can be mass-consumed. These kind of patronising assumptions underpin the way that music is taught in schools today. In many schools, children are provided with what’s called ‘music-making opportunities’. Instead of providing an opportunity for pupils to study and learn about music, ‘music-making opportunities’ are often about involving kids in playing around with digital media and pretending to be djs. Some educators justify this dumbed-down initiative as a pragmatic response to the shortage of music teachers. But frequently the ‘music-making’ approach is praised because it allegedly removes the ‘barriers’ that prevent children from ‘making music’.
Read the whole thing.
Monday, April 14. 2008
 You just click on a date and see all the jazz in NYC. Cool resource.
Photo is The Blue Note.
Stolen from Conspiracy's jokes: Three executives convicted under anti-trust law were sitting at the same table in the prison cafeteria. The first said, "I charged more than others and was convicted of price-gouging." The second said, "I charged less than others and was convicted of predatory pricing." The third said, "I charged exactly the same as everyone else and was convicted of collusion!"
Sunday, April 13. 2008
Brockton, MA, 1940, by Jack Delano, from the Library of Congress collection 
Friday, April 11. 2008
Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude - with lots of Parrotheads in evidence.
Thursday, April 10. 2008
"New publishing industry needs new editors," at Pajamas. Fascinating. (h/t, Flares)
Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Free puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog Free puppies: part German Shepherd, part stupid dog German Shepherd. 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free. Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be reward. 1 man - 7 woman hot tub $850/best offer Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days. Cows, calves never bred. Also 1 gay bull for sale. Nordic Track $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby. Bill's Septic Cleaning. "We Haul American-Made Products" Hummels -- largest selection ever -- "If it's in stock, we have it!" Harrisburg Postal Employees' Gun Club Georgia peaches California grown 89 cents/lb. Nice parachute: never opened – only used once Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7-9 per hour. Exercise equipment: queen size mattress & box springs $175. Our sofa seats the whole mob and it's made of 100% Italian leather. Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer & dryer. $300. Alzheimer's Center prepares for An Affair To Remember Open house. Body shapers toning salon. Free coffee & donuts. For sale by owner: complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Husband knows everything.
Wednesday, April 9. 2008
Newport Mountain, Mount Desert Island, Maine. 1851. The fellow in the foreground seems to be pulling in a mast from a wreck. 
Tuesday, April 8. 2008
If there is no self, whose flu is this? Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a muffin. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story. Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about? The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions; Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says “There is no self.” So, maybe we're off the hook.
That reminds me of this old, old one:
Shirley returns home to Miami from her big Africa trip. Her friends ask her about it, as she sits crying at the Mah Jong table.
"Oy," she says. "In the jungle, I was carried off by a huge gorilla, who took me up into a tree and had his rough, animal way with me for hours."
"You poor thing. It must have been terrible." "No, it was more wonderful than you could ever imagine. Nothing like Marvin." "Then why are you crying?" "It's been two weeks, and he doesn't write, he doesn't call."
and there's a good Passover joke at Theo
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