Maggie's FarmWe are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for. |
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Monday, July 30. 2012Stepping stones
He also has an interesting idea, which he mentioned to me a few days ago in email. I told him if he expounded on it, I'd guest-host the post. And here you go. President Obama could very well find an avenue to a Supreme Court seat. Think about it for a bit. Let the idea simmer on the back burner before you reject the idea as the ranting of a lunatic. Excuse me, make that Chief Justice Obama. Some would argue this is about as scary as it gets.
Continue reading "Stepping stones" Saturday, July 28. 2012Global warming's latest victim Michael Mann to sue NR over Steyn post
Impartial, clinical, objective observations on my part: 1. Mark makes an excellent point, as always. 2. Professor Mann appears to be a complete idiot. Friday, July 27. 2012The Maggie's Farm Smut Guide One of the problems with having multiple bloggers on a site such as this is that everyone has a different idea of what's "not quite too sexy" for what is, ostensibly, a refined, cultured site that tries to present a wide range of topics in at least a semi-dignified manner. Nobody here is a 'prude'. We all admire the human body in its God-given form. But, by the same token, using gratuitous sensationalism merely for sensationalism's sake doesn't seem to jibe well with a penetrating look at the national economy or the growth of the psyche in a young child's brain. So, a line must be drawn, rules must be written. The problem, of course, is one of getting bogged down in the minutiæ. The rule clearly states "no frontal nudity" — so does that mean 95% frontal nudity is okay? It clearly states "no bare nipples" — so does that mean covering them with the thinnest gauze in the known universe gets a pass? Wet gauze, no less? That's the point I was at in my thought process when suddenly, in an incredible one-in-ten-billion happenstance, two of my brain synapses lined up correctly and I had a revelation: The rules don't have to be written! Because Maggie, herself, has already shown us the way. Below, fellow and fellowess bloggers, you will find a wide variety of examples of posts which have already been approved by the governing board and are, indeed, on the site this very day. Merely right-click on one of them and open 'Properties' or 'View Image Info' and you'll see the direct link to Maggie's. So if the picture in your post looks just like one of these, you're good to go. For the rest of you, as a quick example of what we're up against with the governing board, here's what appears at first glance to be a revoltingly rude picture that's obviously pushed the bounds of decorum way too far: Despite the sordid events that took place that day, the above shamelessly revealing photograph was deemed 'okay' by the governing board because of its obvious authenticity. Hence the confusion among us bloggers. We figure if that kind of raunchy material is okay, then it's pretty much "anything goes" around this joint, and that's when we get into trouble. So show us what's permissible to post, dear Maggie. Let history be our guiding light. The procedure is very straightforward and easy. Simply use the officially-sanctioned picture below as your guide for each area and emulate it as closely as possible. Use the Windows Magnification Tool if necessary. When you feel your picture is "in sync" with the online guide picture, you'll be ready to post with no fear of repercussion. RULE #1: NO BARE NIPPLES Exceptions: A: Unless covered by the thinnest gauze in the known universe: B: They're painted: C: On a wall mural: D: Covered in sludge: E: Or it's Christmas: Exceptions: A: Except... B: when viewed... C: from the... D: side: E: Or covered with a bathing suit: Exceptions: A: Unless covered in sludge: B: Covered by the darkest shadows of the netherworld: C: Or it's too far away to see anything, dammit! Exceptions: A: Unless it's "art": B: Or at least somebody's idea of it.
Exceptions: A: Unless it's painted: B: Is a video that starts off with "NSFW": C: Or is back behind the barn: SPECIAL RULES This is the traditional 'gray area' that's a little hard to define, but let me give you some examples and you'll catch on. 1. This picture would have been soundly rejected if the two photoshopped faces had been reversed: Seeing Hillary with deep cleavage would have been deemed far too risky for our readership's delicate sensibilities, and some of the younger ones might have snapped. We all have our breaking point. 2. If a male had posted this: He would have, correctly, been soundly condemned for perpetrating the frustrating, almost-impossible-to-achieve ideal that the 'perfect woman' has the hips of an 18-year-old boy. But since a female posted it, it's perfectly okay. 3. If a female had posted this:
She would have, correctly, been soundly condemned for perpetrating the frustrating, almost-impossible-to-achieve ideal that the 'perfect woman' has the hips of an 18-year-old boy. But since a male posted it, he's just considered a big dumb ape who doesn't know any better. That's why this 'gray area' stuff is confusing. As a guide to what type of pictures your readers might enjoy, we've extensively surveyed the Maggie's Farm readership and these are the categories they most prefer: A. Pictures they can have on the screen when you-know-who suddenly walks into the room: "What are you doing, dear?" "Oh, uh, picking out new bedsheets for your birthday, sweetheart!" B. More stacked, knock-kneed girls in heels and short skirts holding lollipops: C. Bigger cans: D. Fewer beads: E. More tractor mechanics: F. More water sports: G. More genetic mutants: H. More real farm porn! Nice axles, baby! Show 'em! Tuesday, July 24. 2012Big C update II So what kind of jokes do I get from my dear friends? That is, I think it was a joke. Some jokes sound so real it's hard to tell. In case you missed the announcement a few weeks ago, I need an operation to get rid of a tumor in my lower intestine. Thankfully, they caught it at an early stage, so I've got some time to dig up the cash for the operation. Horrific details are here. I'm having it done down in ol' Mehico, because it's a quarter of the price as up here. Funny old world, huh? The Canadians come down here for medical treatment and we go down to Mexico. With a little over a month to go, I'm edging nearer to my goal. After some wonderful donations from family (the advantage of having 13 cousins), the gang at my mom's rest home (thank you, Alice!), some terrific support from the Maggie's Valued Readers™ (and you know who you are) and selling off $5K in stocks, I'm about $6K short. I talked my neighbors into springing for a newspaper ad and we had a collective yard sale here last weekend where I sold pretty much everything that wasn't nailed down and garnered another $550. The one thing I refuse to put on the chopping block in the Guild 12-string guitar I bought in 1968. It's sitting here three feet from me. I'll go before it does. The link to the Save-Our-Doc campaign is here. As I noted in the last update, if there's anything online I can do for you in exchange, like promote a web or blog site or set one up for you, just tell me in the comments to email you. Every little bit helps.
Do I have cool friends, or what? Saturday, July 21. 2012Saturday fun Pic: From the 'Framing The Shot' collection in my art gallery For starters, I've recently rearranged my video section and have collected my better 'video articles'; that is, articles centered around a video, into a new section called, appropriately enough, Video Articles. As for my double-hip Special Vids section, I've recently added an interesting documentary on crossword puzzles. Before that were two documentaries on the Fukushima tsunami/meltdown, and the brilliant — if half a century old — flick, '12 Angry Men'. I also opened up a Fave Vids section where I've collected the web vids that have really touched me over the years, usually because of the music. If you remember Gwynnie's 'seat belt' commercial from about a year ago, that's in there. And, of course, there's the infamous Bag O' Clips, also known as "the last refuge of societal misfits everywhere", where movie lovers can slip away for hours. If you think my movie clips on Maggie's are sharp, the WMV clips in that area are the next step up, because I'm not reducing the quality by rendering them to FLV so the Mac bunch can see them. And, just in case you're a music lover and have been away for the past month or so, allow me toss out the link to my Introducing Jackie Evancho post one last time. What a fun post that was. And I should mention the usual gang: Home Repair — In case you're feeling fix-it-y The Google Earth Project — My tribute to this marvelous computer program Windows — Windows tips, tricks, tidbits and tweaks Doc's Secrets — I still like the 'Guinness' one best Ratville — Okay, so why are rats such great survivors? Rainy Day — Original articles & humor Have a fun weekend, y'all. Tuesday, July 17. 2012Cultural Pop Quiz #107 Bonus point question: What nation was she born in?
If you didn't get it and don't mind lowering yourself to the level of dog drool by cheating and thus shredding any last vestige of self-respect, highlight the following line with the mouse for a clue: Clue: turn your speakers up
Continue reading "Cultural Pop Quiz #107"
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Friday, July 6. 2012Virus Alert: Monday is D-Day
My post on it is here. Just takes a sec to check. Thursday, July 5. 2012Some people have all the luck Last night, an electrical malfunction caused the city of San Diego to set off their entire display in half a minute. I've combined two clips for your viewing pleasure. The camera lens kind of futzes out in the first one because of the brightness; the second one, while blurrier, is closer to what people actually saw. Lucky bastards.
Tuesday, July 3. 2012Checkitout: 'Life's Little Mysteries' What If The World Stopped Turning? What If The Yellowstone Supervolcano Erupts? How Much Would the Avengers' Damage to Manhattan Cost? Which isn't to say they don't cover the important stuff, like How To Properly Bury A Vampire and Italian Crop Circle Linked to Solar Eclipse. Having recently put two documentaries on the Japanese tsunami/Fukushima meltdown on my Special Vids page, I had an interest in Does Radioactive Tuna Mean Fukushima Was Worse than Expected? (I believe the answer to that last one would be 'yes', since the meltdown at Fukushima wasn't 'expected' at all) It also has a few techie-type things on it, like What's The Difference Between LED and LCD TVs?, and it tries to answer a question so many of us ask ourselves while staring into the mirror in wonderment and awe, Why Are Genius and Madness Connected? A little somethin' for everyone.
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Big C update I just wanted to express a huge 'Thank You' to all of you who have chipped a little something into the pot, and especially to those who gave more than their fair share, so hopefully I'll make it. If anyone's interested, my bio is here. I guess you could say I've been around the block a few times. If you'd like to join the Save-Our-Doc campaign, my PayPal donation page is here. To those who have contributed: While I promised not to spill the beans and let everyone know what a terrific person you are, I obviously will if you want, and if you have a web site I can promote in an article, I'll be happy to do so. Also, if you've been thinking of putting up a blog or web site, I'll do the initial setup for you. Just don't get a domain name until we talk. If you want to do any of the above, just say "please email me" in the comments and I'll get hold of you at the address associated with your login name. Thanks again for the help, Sunday, July 1. 2012Happy Birthday, Canada! The name of this delightful British protectorate is "Canada" (also referred to as "Great Britain Jr."), and the fact that it exists at all is often cited as "The eighth wonder of the world." National Geographic magazine has done a number of specials on it over the years, amazing the readers with photographic evidence that people actually live in this frozen hellhole. Well, today is their Independence Day, which celebrates the famous day in 1867 when Britain bought a big chunk of it from France for $38 and change (roughly $17.2B accounting for inflation) because they needed to import drinking water to their Caribbean colonies and Canada has lots of snow. Then they filed an Instant Country document with the League of Nations and became "Canada", which is Eskimo for "land of many snow". In doing my research on this adorable little principality, I quickly discovered that Canadians are very patriotic: And I'm sure you caught the Biblical reference to covering up the private parts with a Canadian fig leaf (their national symbol), so we have to presume Canadians are also exceptionally moral. Now, while some people call Canadians and other Nordic tribes "humorless", their money proves this just isn't so. Based on the famous Warner Bros animated cartoon series "Looney Tunes", they named their money "Loonies" and "Toonies". All in all, that's quite the little accolade for Porky and the gang. Personally, I was always a Yosemite Sam kinda guy. Why, I remember once when he- Wait... where was I? Oh, right. Trying to think of nice things to say about Canada. Well, others have also taken up this mighty challenge, and it was only by combing the very bowels of the Internet that I was able to conjure up what appears at first glance to border upon the miraculous: Canada Day: 5 Reasons to Love Our Neighbor to the North Five! That's about four more than I can come up with, so I'm grateful for the assistance. I get to "Gave us John Candy" and then draw a blank. Anyway, happy birthday, Canada! Just remember, we like you there. Come the Russian invasion, we think you're going to make a great buffer zone! Friday, June 29. 2012Doc's Computin' Tips: Firefox video downloads
Traditionally, the easiest way to grab a YouTube-type video is to install a Firefox add-on like CacheViewer, play the video, open the cached files, sort them by 'Size', and the video was usually sitting right at the top of the heap. There are two small problems with this method: 1. It doesn't always work. Sometimes the video simply isn't there. 2. If there's a choice of the same video but different quality, you won't get the one with the best quality. Enter little DownloadHelper. It allows us to pick the download with the best quality and format. Installation & tweaks are below the fold. Continue reading "Doc's Computin' Tips: Firefox video downloads" Thursday, June 28. 2012Big Brother update
First off, in case you missed it, you might want to glance over my first post on spy drones. I then started collecting articles for a future post, and here we are. But what's to note is that these aren't a bunch of whiny, bitchy rantings on some backwater blog site (like, you know, mine), but coming from the major news organizations. I would also note that I mentioned the 'private sector' in the above post, and the first two links here are what I was referring to. All the rest have to do with our beloved Beware the spy in the sky - Daily Mail
Google's, Apple's eyes in the sky draw scrutiny - Reuters Big Brother’s all-seeing eye - Washington Times Talk of drones patrolling U.S. skies spawns anxiety - Washington Times Don't let drones invade our privacy - CNN Drones over America: Are they spying on you? - MSNBC Drones, computers new weapons of U.S. shadow wars - USA Today Massive experimental drone takes to skies above Edwards AFB - LA Times 64 Drone Bases Located On American Soil - Slashdot Is a Military Drone Base Coming to Your Hometown? - ABC News So, as these things go, it's nice to see the major news organizations aren't backing away from the story. I suppose this is figuring that all the while they're planning on building up their own 'eye in the sky' fleets. As soon as one news organization scoops everybody with some really boss footage of some horrendous disaster using a drone, they'll all have to jump on board. Those are the rules. And all of that just barely scratches the surface. Continue reading "Big Brother update" 'Creative accounting' — green style But it's still guffaws galore as even Rep. Issa wasn't aware how all-encompassing the 'creative accounting' had gone:
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Tuesday, June 26. 2012Introducing Jackie Evancho
And, amazingly, the Yankees don't want me. I mean in the musical sense, of course. And, after a thorough, exhaustive 2-minute search through Wikipedia, it appears the precise nature of my affliction is known as 'relative pitch', or, in medical terms, relativepitchitis. That is, I can hear a note being just the teensiest bit off. My first clue that I was crippled with this life's burden was when a group of us rowdy college students went up to Seattle and visited the World's Fair, which had taken place a few years earlier. Space Needle and all that. There was a machine that would issue a tone for a few seconds, then you tried to match it exactly using a variable dial. I was the only one of five who could do it, and did it three times in a row. It's been pretty much downhill ever since. When I walk into a night club with a live band, everyone else is thinking, "Hey, what a great lead guitarist!" Me, I'm thinking, "His high E-string is a little flat! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!" Cursed, I tell you. Which brings me to Barbra Streisand, Celine Dion and Sarah Brightman. And the brightest new star in the summer sky. Continue reading "Introducing Jackie Evancho"
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Monday, June 25. 2012'Phantom' mini-tribute While putting together my Penn & Teller: Fool Us post, I couldn't help but notice how striking the background music was in the fourth clip. I eventually hunted it down and discovered it was the main theme song to Andrew Lloyd Webber's 1986 remake of The Phantom of the Opera. Since this is a musical, not a movie, there aren't any videos of the entire song being sung by the original performers, Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman, but they gave a live performance at the 1988 Tony Awards that featured the last verse of the song, merging into the musical's second-most popular tune, 'Music of the Night'. Since we here at Maggie's Farm aim to be the best darn-tootin' blog site around, offering the Maggie's Valued Readers™ (that would be you slobs) something that no other site in town has to offer, I've employed the wonders of digital magic to combine the sound track of the first part of the song from a YouTube clip with the clip from the Tonys. Maestro, take it away. That crowd certainly got its money's worth. The lyrics to the theme song are here. I have another clip below the fold. Continue reading "'Phantom' mini-tribute"
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Friday, June 22. 2012Doc's Computin' Tips: World's first FBI-approved virus It's actually kind of a bizarre story. Your computer connects to the Internet using DNS numbers. Some bad guys in Estonia ran a fake advertising scheme and infected a shitload of computers around the world with a DNS hijacking program which changed the computer's DNS numbers. It would still connect with the Internet just fine, albeit occasionally the user might find some new browser window open advertising this or that, which is how the bad guys made their money. Enter the authorities, who catch the bad guys but then are faced with a problem. If they had just confiscated their servers, every infected machine on the planet would have immediately lost its Internet connection — and without the owners having the slightest idea why. Rather than risk global anarchy, the FBI substituted the servers with some rental servers to give people time to clean up their computers, but time is running out and the servers are going to be unplugged this July 9th. There's already been one court-ordered 'stay' of 3 months, and it doesn't look like there's going to be another. The reason anti-virus programs don't catch the little rascal is because it's not actually a virus; it's not even a program, just a web file. The second someone clicked on the original fraudulent ad, the damage was done. No file was ever downloaded so there wasn't anything for the anti-virus program to analyze and stop. The official FBI info file is here. The Tests To be fairly certain you're not infected, visit this and this page. If they say you're infected, there will be some instructions to follow. If you want to be absolutely certain you're not infected, go to Start Menu, Programs, Accessories, open 'Command Prompt'. Type in: ipconfig /all and hit the Enter key. Start looking down the list and you'll see 'DNS Servers', with one or two DNS numbers over to the right. If any of your DNS numbers fit into one of these ranges, the machine is infected: 64.28.176.0 — 64.28.191.255 If so, head here for some fix-it tools, and please let us know in the comments which tool you used and on what operating system. Mac users: If you use a browser with a Windows emulation program, check the FBI file for how to access your DNS numbers so you can compare them to the above list. If you're not running emulation, don't worry about it. Router users: Check the router section in the FBI file. The router has its own DNS numbers that need to be manually checked against the list. I suppose I should note the historical impact of the event. While there have been innumerable viruses, worms and trojans over the years that were expected to ignite on a certain date, creating Gawd knows what kind of havoc, almost none of them ever panned out. This time, however, we're being given a specific date and it's a damn good guess it'll actually happen. After all, this one's backed up by the FBI. Friday, June 1. 2012Unscrabbleink and Grandma's DominosDo you like Scrabble and dominos? No, let me rephrase. Do you like the concept of Scrabble and dominos, but don't like the actual games? Would it be fair to say that Scrabble is extremely frustrating because of the limited number of words you can play, and dominos seems like a kid's game? Well, that's because you haven't played Unscrabbleink and Grandma's Dominos yet. Below the fold is the way to play these two great games. Continue reading "Unscrabbleink and Grandma's Dominos"
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Monday, May 28. 2012Memorial Day fun Sherlock Compilation — a 30-minute condensation of an episode in the new BBC series 'Sherlock', about a modern-day Sherlock Holmes. The Mystery of 'North' — The story of a movie that was never released to DVD, and you'd never guess why. The Challenger Disaster — It need not have happened. The Columbia Disaster — No one to blame, nowhere to run. The Concorde Disaster — One of the most beautiful eras in aviation ends because of the most insignificant thing. The F-35 Debacle — How to shoot yourself in the foot, government style. Straight Up — A very interesting documentary on helicopters. Besides the 'Special Videos', there are a number of interesting things in my art gallery. There are three 'Web Vids' pages with what I consider to be the best short videos posted to the Web, lots of pictorials, and if you like watching movie 'trailers', I have my own version in the 'Bag O' Clips'. Enjoy!
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Tuesday, May 15. 2012Doc's Computin' Tips: AutoSizer update AutoSizer is a terrific little tool. It's basic function is to open programs in full-screen mode, getting around annoyances like the way Internet Explorer opens in half-screen mode when clicking on an email link or Desktop shortcut. It also opens small programs, like Calculator — which seem to have a will of their own when it comes to where on the screen they'll open — in the center of the screen. Home site is here. The problem is that it doesn't work with Internet Explorer on 64-bit systems. Enter IE New Window Maximizer. To set it up, download the free file, install, then open the Options/Configuration panel. Select 'Show IE windows while being maximized' but nothing else. Et voilà! Monday, May 14. 2012The F-35 Debacle
Hindsight is always 20/20. The original concept was noble in its intent; a new fighter jet that would satisfy the needs of the Air Force, Navy and Marines. Better to develop one all-purpose fighter than have each branch go through the trouble and expense of manufacturing their own, right? And if one branch had a specific requirement, like the Navy needing stronger landing gear because of the stress put on the aircraft by carrier landings, then that could be taken care of after the fact. Then they screwed the whole idea with the moronic notion that the newest, fastest, most brilliant state-of-the-art fighter in the world also had to serve as a helicopter. Yes, you read that right. For the first half of the story, watch this engaging Nova documentary on the battle between Boeing and Lockheed Martin over who would claim the prize. Both teams ran into serious delays, both teams overcame enormous hurdles, and both teams put together a truly awesome plane. Both teams also deserve the Dunce of the Decade award for even considering such a preposterous notion that the fastest fighter jet in the world also had to serve as a friggin' chopper. If they had put their collective foot down and simply told the brass back in Washington "This is the stupidest idea we've ever heard of", maybe it would have dawned on someone that trying to make the fastest fighter jet in the world hover was the very definition of oxymoronic. For your viewing pleasure: Battle of the X-Planes
Continue reading "The F-35 Debacle" Sunday, May 6. 2012Doc's sites Rainy Day — articles & humor Art Gallery — pics & vids Doc's WordPress Guide — how to fire up a blog site the easy way Speakup 2012 — want to have a say in this year's election? Here ya go WordPress Themes — some of the wilder/cooler/awesomer WordPress themes Windows — tip, tricks, tweaks, proggies, procedures, processes; you-name-it System Backup — the pro way of backing up your system Video Lab — a fun way to get into video Home Repair — home repair tips with a twist Ratville — a tribute to my pet rats of yore The Google Earth Project — video tours of some amazing planetary spots Doc's Secrets —from Subway Sandwiches to an unknown bed of iridium Well, that should keep you busy for an hour or two. Saturday, May 5. 2012And they dubbed it 'Supermoon'
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Friday, January 6. 2012"Death to Pennies"
Personal thoughts: — IMHO, the greatest invention of the 1990's was the 'penny tray' at convenience stores. — I've referred to them as 'pocket pollution' for decades. — When I get home from shopping, I empty my pockets, file any important receipts, dump any coins in the change jar and drop any pennies in the waste basket, where they rightfully belong. Wednesday, December 21. 2011The writing's on the (digital) wall My feeling is that either SOPA (the House version) or Protect IP (the Senate version) will pass. More info here and here, and if you're looking for a specific reason why they're doing this — outside of the usual power, ignorance and control — check out who's #4 on this list.
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