We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Back to the warm, cheery lodge's dock after a day of duck hunting in Canada. Fire roaring in the fireplace, the bar is open, hors d'oevres hot and waiting for us.
What's for supper? We hope for the beer-batter fried Walleye, fresh from the lake.
That means it's time to pick up the dekes and head the boat a mile or two down the lake back to ye olde lodge. Cocktail Hour. If the outboard won't start, we have oars. Done that, too, but it's only half-fun.
I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 22. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip. 28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were. 29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle, and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy." Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool, William."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks," says the grandfather, "but I'm William... the little shit's name is Kevin."
Catboats remain common in New England. I wonder about other parts of the country, and the world. They were designed for comfort, seaworthiness, and ease of sail-handling - not for speed. It's never a terrible idea to have an ugly outboard on the stern of one, just in case.
These videos are from my hunting club in Manitoba. Location is secret. We know that little blind on the point well, but usually hunt from the boats, driving them into the reeds. Big water, big lake. Lots of naive first-year birds, Red Heads, Canvasbacks, Bluebills.
The best hunting is in the worst weather: snowy sleet, with wind.
“163 CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are former Marines, more of them having enlisted than having served as commissioned officers. When you consider that less than one percent of Americans served in the military in the last decade, understanding the causes of that ratio challenges you to think.”
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5-lb. potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato bags.
Then try 50-lb. potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm currently at this level.)
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
The food stamp program, part of the Department of Agriculture, has announced that is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, also part of the Department of Agriculture, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed the Animals" because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.
If you are fascinated with Alzheimer's or are in love with Meryl Streep's phenomenal talents playing an Alzheimer's patient, see Iron Lady. If you have any interest in Margaret Thatcher as a person or leader of Great Britain, don't expect any of that in this movie. The non-Alzheimer's flashbacks probable amount to less than 20% of this disjointed movie, and are designed to conceal any utility of her policies or actions, such as when she is portrayed as viciously attacking the poor Argentinians despite the advice of her admirals.
In short, it is clear that Mrs. T and her politics were repugnant to the writers and producers, who are using Streep's fabulous talents in one of the more effective hatchet jobs (fortunately, the hatchet was so blunt the agenda is obvious to all).
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.