Friday, August 20. 2010
There was an intriguing ad on MSNBC's web site the other day. You hear about those "visual graphics tricks" that advertising people pull, and you have to figure this is just another example of it. I think it's one of those 'subliminal' things they talk about.
Which gender is this person?
Now, before you say 'guy', take a closer look. Guys don't usually wear frilly blouses with cute bows on the front and rounded collars, do they? And that hair looks kind of coifed for a guy, doesn't it? And do you see any chest hairs? Couldn't this just be a nice healthy German or Russian girl?
Or perhaps the ad agency is going for that 'artistic musician look', where it's okay for guys to wear sissy clothes as long as they're being musical about it?
But the fact that we're discussing it at all says something, doesn't it? It's still possible the question could go either way — if not both ways. Which gender IS this person??
Well, back to that "subliminal" stuff I was talking about:
 Regular News
Finally some sensibility comes to the world of fashion! For far too long have chubby models inspired impressionable young eaters out there to the point where obesity is now considered a 'national epidemic', imposing a massive burden on our health care system. But now that this agency is daring to use average women as models (see example), perhaps we'll start turning this evil scourge of obesity around, once and for all.
Say, here's a fun way to start the day. It's one of those "brain teasers" you see in puzzle books. Good luck!
Only a third of Americans say Obama is Christian
Nearly 1 in 5 Americans Think Obama is Muslim
Quick: What percentage of Americans think Obama is Hindu?
Bobby Thompson, he of the 'Shot Heard 'Round The World', has passed away. YouTube clip of the event is here.
Speaking of fallen heroes, are there any Vonnegut fans out there? I adored him back in the day. If I could only take one book with me to a deserted island, it'd be something by Vonnegut, but I'd be torn between "God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater", "The Sirens of Titan", and "Galápagos".
Kurt Vonnegut Memorial Library to open in Indianapolis
And another fallen hero:
Why 'Atlas Shrugged' is flying off the bookshelves
Well, I'm a little disappointed in my headline time machine. The calibration is a bit sensitive. It seems to either go 10 years into the future or 10 million years into the past. Let's try another one from the future.
BZZHSZZSHKZHTT!!
Human beings killed off by climate change
The following article is about "naughty acronyms". In some of these cases, it seems kind of silly that a company would care that some particular combination of letters would mean one little thing to some fringe group somewhere. Big deal.
On the other hand, you'd think the people forming the South Lake Union Trolley would have given the name just a wee bit more thought before making the final decision.
Acronyms that accidentally turned naughty
Political News
Obama thanks Facebook fans for birthday card
Thursday, August 19. 2010
 A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and, as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided that a pair of gloves would strike the right note. Romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to the store and bought a pair of white gloves. The younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, he sealed the package and mailed it to his sweetheart along with this note:
My Dearest,
I choose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy to remove.
These are a delicate shade but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really sharp.
I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Just think of how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.
All My Love, John
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing.
 1:30 am.
Sorry, no morning links today. I played hooky all day by romping up to Miami Beach for a fish fry. At the end of my heavily philosophical journey, I could only utter two fateful words:
Cuban girls.
Growing up in California, I always thought Mexican girls were hot, but Cuban girls really have that 'something extra' about them. Maybe it's the dark eyebrows. Either way, it was you guys or the dark eyebrows, and it's obvious who won.
I do have one interesting note about languages. My buddy is Cuban, been here 20 years, and he says that Spanish has variations that are just as wild as English. Like the way a Yankee might have a hard time understanding a native Alabaman and vice versa, and neither would be able to understand one Irish or Cockney word in ten from the guy on the next bar stool.
Likewise, in Spanish, he says he can't understand one word in ten from the Argentinian kid next door. He told me, and I kid you not, "It's all Greek to me."
Wednesday, August 18. 2010
 In my opinion, after all is said and done, there has really only been one president of the United States who in his heart was one of us, the lowly we, the people.
Teddy Roosevelt.
Oh, it could be argued that the Humble Log Cabin Crowd — Abe Lincoln springs to mind — were "one of us", but they all became that most horrid of things, politicians, once they achieved national status. Teddy, alone, never forgot we, the people.
Yeah, ol' TR. He was a Republican, right? Oh, of course he was. One of the most famous Republicans in history! Why, just look at some of his Republican platforms!
— Break up Big Business
— Give Big Labor national power
— Deplore the difference between the rich and poor
— Push for national health care
— Push for national workman's comp insurance
And, if those heinous crimes weren't enough, check this out!
— Give women the right to vote
Scandalous! That's what happens when you let a RINO take power, folks!
But then...
But then, at the time, the country really needed such progressive ideals. Some of the big business barons, alone, were pulling in more cash per year than the federal government, and big business was on a path to monopolize the only means of mass transportation in the country, the railroads. That's simply too much power in the private sector and Roosevelt correctly put an end to it.
He also put an end to the idiocy of women not voting, and he honestly tried to ease the plight of the black man through legislation, but society simply wasn't ready for a Civil Rights-type act. This was only two generations removed from the Civil War, so the South was still, in great part, the South.
And while he was never able to implement his national health and insurance programs, he did raise working conditions for the average slob considerably. This was in an era of mandatory 12-hour work shifts and child labor, both of which he abolished.
 He also racked up a number of global accomplishments, such as building the Panama Canal, sending our fleet of battleships around the world to establish ourselves as a world power (the first time a nation had ever done so), and what really put our fledgling nation in the big leagues was his negotiating an end to the bloody Russo-Japanese War, something no diplomat alive thought possible.
And no article on Teddy would be complete without mentioning how he brought the conservation of our natural resources into the public eye. In those days, most Americans viewed the country to be so vast that our resources were infinite, but TR saw otherwise. He strongly believed that we had the right to use the land, but believed just as strongly that we didn't have the right to waste it.
For your education, enlightenment and enjoyment, I highly recommend "Teddy Roosevelt: An American Lion", available on Netflix and presumably Blockbuster. It's reasonably even-handed, pointing out his mistakes as well as his victories, and does a decent job of putting things in historical perspective. As I noted above, when you start listing out his platforms, he sounds shockingly liberal, yet at the time it was exactly what America needed.
America being we, the people.
 Regular News
Well, let's start off with some good news. Usually when Congress puts bills right out in the open, people bitch and moan and complain and nothing gets done. But when they meet in a closed-door session, as they did last night, often 'miraculous' results ensue (see picture) that finally solve some nagging national problem, once and for all.
Congress passes bill making new low-energy car mandatory by 2016
(you'll have to excuse me — I'm not as good at this links stuff as the other guys and sometimes don't get the headlines exactly correct)
Well, good news for golfers. A new golf school has opened up using a revolutionary new technique that's apparently displaying remarkable results.
Hold on a sec.
(tinker-tinker)
Ah-ha! I fixed my time machine and now it looks like it'll snag two headlines from 10 years in the future. Here goes!
BZZHZHZZKHGRHZZZTT!!
More than half of America's wind farms built where there is not enough wind
Global temperatures much higher than 10 years ago, CO2 levels 20 times higher
All kidding aside, global warming is a serious subject and shouldn't be taken lightly.
As Muscovites suffer record high temperatures this summer, a Russian political scientist has claimed the United States may be using climate-change weapons to alter the temperatures and crop yields of Russia and other Central Asian countries.
On the other hand, it's nice to finally get our dirty little secret out in the open. Fry, Russkies!
Political News
White House gardener weighs in on world affairs
Tuesday, August 17. 2010
I've been doing this online gig for 20 years, and everywhere I turn it's the same old complaint:
Never enough recipes!
Well, alrighty then!
Doc's Surprise Spaghetti
 This is a fabulous trick to play on your friends. They'll sit there raving over the sauce, convinced they've had it before, but they just can't qui-i-i-ite place it.
See picture.
The recipe:
— Use 1-to-1 ratio, Manwich Original Sloppy Joe Sauce to pure tomato sauce
— Include all usual spaghetti stuff
— Serve while piping hot!
The Sloppy Joe by itself is a bit strong, so it needs to be watered down with the pure stuff. It goes especially well if you're including meatballs since it's designed as a hamburger meat sauce from the get-go. What makes it fun is that it's already pretty close to 'real' spaghetti sauce, and in context — on top of spaghetti noodles — one really wants to believe it's a 'real' spaghetti sauce — but it's just different enough that you know it's not.
Extra Points: If someone actually has the light bulb go off and suddenly says "Sloppy Joe??", look them dead in the eye and go, "Huh?" They'll immediately back down, embarrassed by their wild supposition.
Mrs. Willis' Secret Hot Dog Sauce
This is a hand-me-down. It's kind of the hot dog version of "sweet & sour sauce". Ultra-scrumptious.
This is based on beef or pork franks; not sure how it'd go with turkey, etc. Goes best with real hot dog buns.
 The recipe:
— Slit hot dogs lengthwise, fry in skillet
— Pour enough ketchup into cup to heavily slather dogs
— Mix in two teaspoons of white sugar for per half-cup of ketchup
— Mix in 1/4 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce per half-cup
— Mix in three or four drops of Tabasco sauce per half-cup
— After dogs are cooked, turn down to low and slather on sauce. Turn dogs, let simmer in sauce, slather back side, turn again. Let simmer for 3 or 4 minutes per side so sugars will caramelize
— Start buns toasting in oven
— Place dogs on plate or buns, spoon the remaining sauce from the pan onto dogs
— Blow everybody's mind
Serve with Tater Tots and maybe some green beans or baked beans. Goes extra well with Coke and BBQ chips.
Bon appetit!
In the final analysis, people's ignorance about electrical usage is one of the great tragedies of our time.
That is, if you consider broken homes a 'tragedy'.
Mom and Dad and the two kids go out for hamburgers. They have a great time; as fun a time as any family could wish to have.
They wheel into the driveway, Dad sees that Jimmy left his bedroom light on and explodes. "I've told you a thousand times! That's it! I've had it!"
A horrible fight ensues, with the mother caught in the middle, trying to protect her son from the father's wrath, yet agreeing that the son's extravagant waste of the family's money demands severe punishment.
The rest of the evening is spent with the son sulking, the father in an angry mood, and the mother on the edge of tears. Last night it was her turn because she left the dining room light on when they went across the street to visit with the neighbors for an hour.
After the one thousandth time, the father has had enough and decides to leave these money-wasting losers. Or, tiring of his rage, she does. Or little Jimmy runs away when he's 16 and is found dead from a heroin overdose two months later in New York City.
Just another American family tragedy.
Happens all the time.
The light little Jimmy left on is a 60-watt desk lamp.
Watts means "per hour", so that means Jimmy's light consumes 60 watts of energy in one hour. The family was gone for two hours, so little Jimmy's despicable thoughtlessness wasted 120 watts.
A "kilowatt" is how electricity is measured and paid for. A kilowatt is 1,000 watts. Therefore, to get kilowatts, you divide the watts by 1,000. So, the 120 watts that little Jimmy so blatantly wasted is .12 kilowatt.
One kilowatt generally costs about ten cents.
At ten cents per kilowatt, that's $.012 that little Jimmy wasted that dark and fateful night. The last night, it turned out, that the family was to ever eat a happy meal together.
$.012 is just over one penny.
Continue reading "Electrical Usage: A tragedy of ignorance"
 Regular News
Well, I feel a little guilty that I didn't partake in any of that good old-fashioned Maggie's Farm-style California bashin' yesterday, so let's get right to the good stuff:
How Arnold Schwarzenegger's California dream soured
Californians now cursed by all humanity
Times so bad California lawyers only getting $10/hr
California women now have triple the nation's fat rate
In unrelated news, New York state is now forcing DWI drivers to install a device on their car that forces them to pass a breath test before it'll start:
Blowing more than a .025 percent blood-alcohol content -- less than a third of the legal limit -- will make the car go haywire. The horn starts honking and the car's speakers emit a high-pitched shriek that, according to state probation director Robert Maccarone, "increases in volume until it's intolerable -- you'll have to pull over to the side and stop the car."
Failing an immediate follow-up test then locks the ignition.
The law requires the devices even in the family cars of drunk drivers, meaning that spouses will have to submit to the same tests.
Exit questions:
— How much does it cost to have an emergency road service come out and unlock the ignition?
— How much will the first family sue for when someone's car breaks down on a lonely road in the snow and they freeze to death because the car wouldn't start because the system malfunctioned? Or it locked the ignition because of the (A) breath mint the person was sucking on, (B) unique medicine they were taking, not to mention the (C) swig of whiskey they took for warmth?
The pic: Some guy mapped out a road course that would spell out the message and then turned his car's GoogleMaps GPS tracking device on when he hit those stretches. Not only a damn clever idea and great implementation, but, given that, not a bad message, either. I loved Anthem.
Turning our attention to some serious issues (yes, I know it's a shocking change), here are a few I've filed away:
Is Obama Winning the Hearts and Minds of the Arab and Muslim World?
Giant Mecca clock seeks to call time on Greenwich
Related:
10 Things You Must Know About Malware
Hold on a sec...
It worked! I did it!
I just invented a time machine that can reach 10 years into the future and snatch a headline from the New York Times. It can only work once, so let's hope it's a good one!
BZZHZHHZGHZZZTTZT!!
Axe falls on ObamaCare services
Well, at least it's still ten years away.
A lot of columns have some kind of "Life imitates..." feature. Usually '...the Onion', not coincidentally. Well, if you have a few minutes to read some silly humor (Glenn Reynolds once linked to it so it can't be that bad), I've got one of my own:
Life Imitates Dr. Mercury's Wildest Hyperbole
First read this.
Then look at the title of this.
Political News
Obama and daughter take plunge, swim in gulf
Monday, August 16. 2010
While on its surface the late Michael Crichton's book State of Fear was a damning exposé of the global warming hoax, the underlying message was how thrilled the news agencies are with the thought of dangling this delicious fear over our heads. The more you fear the devastation global warming will bring, the more you'll go back to their news sites for further information. And, presumably, while you're there, click on an ad banner and buy something. Unquestionably, the two biggest pushers over recent years have been Fox News and ABC News.
Say, speaking of terrible fears, how 'bout that horrible Swine Flu Pandemic? Pretty much wiped out entire continents with that baby, eh? But, thankfully, those days of worry and "Am I next?" are behind us:
August 11: WHO Declares End to Swine Flu Pandemic
Remember that day, folks. August 11th, a day that will live in history as the day we were finally freed from the shackles of pandemic fear. We're free! Free!
Scientists Find New Superbug Spreading From India
A new superbug could spread around the world after reaching Britain from India - in part because of medical tourism - and scientists say there are almost no drugs to treat it. — Fox News, August 11
Identified Gene May Bring on New Superbug
British researchers reported that the new gene, called NDM-1, can be easily be transferred into common bacteria such as E. Coli. The gene alters bacteria, making them resistant to nearly all known antibiotics. — ABC News, August 11
Well, it was nice while it lasted.
 Regular News
Picture: For one million dollars, guess the venue the picture was taken for.
Finally! You all know how I like to start off with a little good news, and today is no exception. While country after country slowly degenerates into an unrecognizable morass of moral decay, one brave nation is stepping up to the plate and putting an end to wantonness and disregard for social convention:
Kissing in cars, feeding stray cats and building sandcastles all banned in Italy
Italy considers banning 80-year-old drivers
So that takes care of those pesky little problems.
When it comes to global warming, two nations are making strides that America might consider emulating:
Belgian undertakers plan to dissolve dead and flush them into sewage system
All new homes to run on green power by 2016
Say, speaking of global warming, you know who's been missing from the debate? We've got your NASA and NOAA and IPCC, your Popular Science and Scientific American and the rest of the loony tunes, the fervent race between Fox News and ABC News as to who can push it the hardest, but it wasn't until I saw an article by these people that I realized there's a key player out there who we all instinctively know and trust:
The National Geographic.
And here they are weighing in now:
Oyster Herpes: Latest Symptom of Global Warming?
So it's good to know they're playing a key role in the debate.
The next time you stay at a fancy hotel, you might think about paying cash:
Where Your Credit Card is Most Likely to Be Stolen
Actually, the best advice is to have two credit cards, one for regular use and one that you keep almost empty for such things as online purchases and trips. Most banks have instant online transfers between accounts these days, so if you suddenly want to order something online that costs some bucks, one quick transfer and you're ready.
Well, the first pictures of the new Miss USA contestants are in. (pictured above: Miss Connecticut Ashley Bickford from the above photo shoot, #13)
Not that I pay any attention to beauty contests, but it does seem like things have changed over the years.
Miss Universe Organization Slammed for Contestants' Topless Photo Shoot
Political News
Bo brings a dogged optimism to White House
Sunday, August 15. 2010
 Statistics-wise, I think this (Sunday, middle of August) is supposed to be the deadest day of the year on the blogs so I'm not going to burn up any of my single links, just make a few suggestions.
Neal Boortz — If you're into political blog sites, you really have to put this guy on your daily rounds. Stop by his site after 9 am when he quits blogging and goes on the air. He's unlike anybody else out there, and many of his predictions are dead-on balls accurate.
Linkiest —This eclectic links site deserves a once-a-day stop.
Cracked — I only mention this site in particular because there are a lot of wannabe parody and satire sites out there, but these guys remain the best.
Google News Directory — This is a collection of news agencies around the world, sorted by directory. A good link to stash to the side.
Doc's Bag O' Links — And if you're really hungry for unusual sites, check out the great readers' suggestions at the bottom of this post.
Saturday, August 14. 2010
 ATTENTION: This post and its accompanying sister post will get bumped to the top of the page a few times throughout the day in a determined effort to warn our more sensitive readers of the calamity that's just taken place:
Bird Dog's gone on vacation for 10 days.
And, without adult supervision, there's no telling what depths of depravity and despair to which this site might sink. The best I could do was promise Bird Dog that when he returned "the domain name might still be working."
You should steel yourself to witness first-hand:
— A seemingly endless panorama of buxom, scantily-clad females in a shameless display of gender objectification
— Scathing "articles of anarchy" whose ideas, if implemented, could thoroughly disrupt our good Congress's noble intentions to better mankind
— Mind-numbingly cute articles on chipmunks and butterflies as we try to sweet-talk PETA into dropping that lawsuit
— A constant barrage of bile and venom as we continue to ridicule, mock, scorn, defile and degrade California in a desperate attempt to give our own pitiful little relic of a state some tiny shred of self-respect. We fail continuously, of course, because California just plain ol' is cool, as that CA native, the handsome and dashing Dr. Mercury, bears witness to daily. But we'll keep trying.
— Reruns
Note that you'll still see some of Bird Dog's posts around as he tries to trick the poor bloggers into thinking he's still watching over us, but we're onto his game. He pre-timed the posts, the little rascal.
I, myself, promise that I'll do my best to maintain the high standards and level of decorum that we've come to know and expect from such a refined, elegant, tasteful site such as Maggie's Farm.
Starting with...
 Regular News
Well, I promised you some good old-fashioned Maggie's Farm-style California bashing, so let's get right to it.
Californians' income falls for first time since WWII
Ah, the ol' schadenfreude feels pretty good, doesn't it? After we're through here we'll go pull the wings off flies.
Blogger calls popular California resort lake "terrible"
Famed California actor claims "Wherever I go, terrible things happen"
California women now have triple the nation's fat rate
In unrelated news, New York state, in an effort to maintain its plush welfare lifestyle, has decided to sell off its universities and roads.
The dead-wood Las Vegas Review-Journal, in a desperate bid to save itself, has hired a professional hit man to track down bloggers linking to online Review-Journal articles and sue them for copyright infringement.
No, that's not one great big typo.
In applied business news, here's how one enterprising fellow traded up on Craiglist from an old cellphone to a Porche.
Do you remember one of the great victories of the Obama Administration, the FAA limiting the time a plane can stand idle on the tarmac? Well, so much for victories.
Interesting article here on the primal ancestor of the eagle:
In a blink of geologic time an eagle the weight of a squirrel evolved into a giant predator that fed on animals twice as big as humans. It grew so large it approached the physical limits of flight, a new study suggests.
"There is a body mass above which normal flapping flight becomes physically impossible," said Holdaway, "Various studies have suggested that that occurs at a body mass of about 15 kilograms," which is the estimated weight of the Haast's eagle.
The good professor, however, is extremely puzzled how these fine and noble birds could have died out.
Why this happened is a question that continues to perplex Holdaway.
"The Haast's Eagle lived in a world that is now gone and it is very much a challenge to put together as much of the structure and process of that lost community, and to see how and why it unraveled so rapidly when people reached New Zealand," Holdaway said.
Yep, it's certainly a mystery. People arrive on an island to find these great big fat, barely-able-to-fly, ready-for-roasting turkey-sized birds... and they all disappear?
And say, by the way, what did this bad boy feed on, anyway?
The eagle fed largely on the moa, an extinct flightless bird somewhat like an ostrich.
But as the professor clearly states about the Haast's extinction...
"That has deep lessons for us today with much of the natural world under threat from human activities."
In other words, if the Haast eats the moa into extinction, that's good and natural, but if we eat the Haast into extinction, that's bad and unnatural. According to the good professor and his ivory tower ilk, we're a threat wherever we turn; the war of the humans against the natural world.
Well, speaking of threats, I suppose it's time to turn to the top political news stories of the day.
Political News
Vegetable garden to be planted on White House grounds
Sunday, August 8. 2010
Well, it was another busy week in American politics.
Wednesday, July 28. 2010
This article is from the British paper The Star.
This is one of those rare moments in life when you realize you've just read something such as you've never read before, nor may ever read again.
ON 21 July, we published an article claiming that the video games company Rockstar Games were planning to release a version of their popular Grand Theft Auto video games series titled “Grand Theft Auto Rothbury”.
We also published what we claimed would be the cover of this game, solicited comments from a family member impacted by the recent tragedy and criticised Rockstar Games for their alleged plans.
We made no attempt to check the accuracy of the story before publication and did not contact Rockstar Games prior to publishing the story. We also did not question why a best selling and critically acclaimed fictional games series would choose to base one of their most popular games on this horrifying real crime event.
It is now accepted that there were never any plans by Rockstar Games to publish such a game and that the story was false. We apologise for publishing the story using a mock-up of the game cover, our own comments on the matter and soliciting critical comments from a grieving family member.
We unreservedly apologise to Rockstar Games and we have undertaken not to repeat the claims again. We have also agreed to pay them a substantial amount in damages which they are donating to charity.
Tuesday, July 27. 2010
 One pesky little computer problem is when you run a program most of the time the computer is up, like an email program, but it minimizes to the Task Bar and clutters up the place with its icon. For 'permanent' programs that run all of the time, the better routine is to stick the icon in the SysTray (the area just to the right of the Task Bar) and leave the Task Bar area for current projects.
Some programs have a setting in their Options that tells them to minimize to the SysTray, so check that first.
To solve this little poser, we have a program with the cheek-pinchingly cute name of Trayconizer. It's not promised to work on every program, but it's worked on the three I've thrown at it.
Home page is here. Get the 'Unicode build'.
Unzip the file to its own 'Trayconizer' folder in a place you'll later be able to locate. This is, if you put the Trayconizer folder in a 'Tools' folder, remember it for the next step.
To set up a program for trayconizing, go to the Start Menu, find its icon, right-click on it and open the Properties.
In the 'Target' box, put the full path to Trayconizer before the path to the program.
(capital letters are only used for clarity in the following)
For example, if you placed the Trayconizer folder in a 'Tools' folder, the path would be:
C:\Tools\Trayconizer\Trayconizer.exe <existing path to program>
If you stuck it in a folder with a blank space in the name, like 'Program Files', you need to put the whole path in quotes:
"C:\Program Files\Trayconizer\Trayconizer.exe" <path to program>
If there's an error in the path, Windows will let you know when you click 'OK' to close the box. If you get stuck, open the Properties of the Trayconizer icon, highlight the 'Location', copy it to memory with Ctrl-C, paste it into the 'Target' box with Ctrl-V.
Now when you minimize the program the icon should go to the SysTray. Single-click on it to get a few options, double-click to pop the program back open.
Friday, July 23. 2010
Hot Air is currently running a video clip of Glenn Beck and his studio guy listening to a Keith Olbermann MSNBC rant and yucking it up. There's nothing particularly hilarious said, but it's always fun seeing celebs hang out off-camera.
But what's notable about the clip doesn't have anything to do with Beck, but with one brief clause Olby spits out during his tirade.
Scenario:
You're an ardent liberal. Keith Olbermann is a god amongst men, perhaps the only man alive with the courage to tell it like it really is.
You believe every word he says.
Shall we run over that check list one more time?
The howling fools of the far right — Check!
The stand-aside pathetic bureaucrats of the Dept. of Agriculture — Check!
The whole of the cowering media, MSNBC included — Check!
(wow, this Olbermann guy is fearless!) — Check!
The whole of the government — Check!
This self-defeatingly above-it-all president — Che-
Wait — WTF?? What did he say?
But this is Keith Olbermann speaking, a god amongst men. You said so yourself.
Ergo it must be true.
The next time you hear some righty screaming for Olby's head, bear in mind the old expression useful idiots. Ol' Keith is doing a superb job.
Thursday, July 22. 2010
Ah, the Florida Keys.
A tropical island paradise.
I honestly don't know if I could describe it any better than I did in Gift Ideas, in the section on Verizon Wireless:
Even out here in the boonies of the Florida Keys I've had superb results. As the freezing winter temperatures plummet into the low upper-mid 70's, I find myself taking my laptop over to the tiki hut, draping the obligatory floral leis around my neck, grabbing my ukulele, greeting the wahinis with hugs and kisses, then firing up the Verizon Wireless so we tropical islanders can tune in to Weather.com and marvel with wonderment and awe at the winter hell our fellow Americans will endure.
Willingly, I might add.
Yep, this is heaven on earth. Make no mistake about it.
Well, at least until you click on a link and see one of these barreling ass over teakettle your way:
So there's that.
Sunday, July 11. 2010
Taken out my back door just minutes ago:
You have your backyard scenery, I have mine.
Monday, July 5. 2010
 Today would have to be regarded as one of the perfect 'project days' of the year. The banks and such are closed, the festivities are over, and a hopefully undisturbed day stretches out before you.
Here are some suggestions on how to put this special little day to good use:
Establish Yourself Online — Quit screwing around and go get yourself a domain name before they all run out. This is the voice of experience speaking. Five years ago, my first-name-last-name.com (without the hyphens) was available, but I didn't grab it. Then, my first-name-middle-initial-last-name.com was available, but I didn't grab it. Today, even my first-name-middle-name-last-name.com is gone. And, just between you and me, I really don't want a ".biz" or ".xxx" address.
Home Repair — Maybe you've been thinking of tackling a repair around the house but you're not sure if you're getting in over your head? Here's an 'overview guide' that should get you headed in the right direction. También en Español, Deutsch, et Français.
Computer Overhaul — Is this it? Is this the dreaded day when you finally grip the bull by the horns and terrifyingly slog your way through the mean, cruel guide in order to get your computer acting all perky and spunky again? At very least, do the 'Simple' setup guide. At very cruelest, do the 'Serious' guide.
Vista Users — This goes double for you guys. All of that Vista "bloatware" that your friends mock and deride you for behind your back can be safely and easily eliminated. I ran Vista for a while and it was as quick and snappy as an operating system can be.
VideoStudio — If you ever wanted to dangle a toe in the moiling, boiling, roiling waters of video, this is the way to do it. It takes a brand new approach. Rather than teach one a whole bunch of little things in anticipation of running the big program, I have you learn the big program first and only learn the nitty-gritty stuff as the need arises, which depends upon the odd video formats drifting in over time. The big dif is, I arm you with a plethora of specialized tools so you can handle whatever the 'Net throws at you. There's no "figuring it out" at the time.
Don't let this day slip away!
|
