Maggie's Farm

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam, as a measure of his general health.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked! "You even asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. Not one of us could get the jar open."

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.

William Pitt, 1783 (h/t, our cousin Mr. Free Market)

The large Barred Owl, like our Great Horned Owl, is hooting, nesting, and laying eggs about now, up here. You can hear his deep "Who cooks for yoooo? Who cooks for you-all" across the frozen nighttime moon-lit marshes.

It's tough being on the bottom of the food chain. In the uplands, rodents have to deal with the Red-Tail during the day and with the Great Horned at night; in the lowlands with the Red Shouldered during the day and the Barred Owl at night.

More about Barred Owl here at CLO.  Also, somebody made a Barred Owl Cam. It seems that they will use large nest boxes, but I have only seen them using old hawk or crow nests. Their range and numbers are expanding. They are the same species as Spotted Owl, since they interbreed. Different races.

I thought all of the rats in NYC were at Taco Bell.

 

Visiting the bird-feeder today:

Purple Grackle, Tree Sparrow, Song Sparrow, White Throated Sparrow, Mockingbird, Cardinal, Blue Jay, Slate-Colored Junco, Mourning Dove, Goldfinch. Not very exciting species, but all welcome. Usually a few Nuthatches, Downies, and Titmice, but not today.

The monstrous evils of the twentieth century have shown us that the greediest money grubbers are gentle doves compared with money-hating wolves like Lenin, Stalin, and Hitler, who in less than three decades killed or maimed nearly a hundred million men, women, and children and brought untold suffering to a large portion of mankind.

Eric Hoffer

Man is a luxury loving animal. Take away play, fancies, and luxuries, and you will turn man into a dull, sluggish creature, barely energetic enough to obtain a bare subsistence. A society becomes stagnant when its people are too rational or too serious to be tempted by baubles.

Eric Hoffer

I always thought that, too - that he was an abyss-gazer and a frightening metaphysician. From The Fear:

You understand that we have to be careful.
This is a very, very lonely place.
Joel!" She spoke as if she couldn't turn.
The swinging lantern lengthened to the ground,
It touched, it struck it, clattered and went out.

No fuzzy, avunclular, laconic Yankee he. In fact, a Californian transplant to NH via Dartmouth College. "Accessible"? I don't know: his imagery is familiar and country, but that's just imagery. From a New York Sun review of Frost's newly-published Diaries:

Frost's popular Yankee image, which he assiduously cultivated through readings, lectures, and even some of his poems, helped him to win the immense popularity that he enjoyed in his lifetime: four Pulitzer Prizes, a spot on the dais at the Kennedy Inaugural. Yet Trilling recognized that the aged poet would not be helped in his passage to posterity by this Norman Rockwell carapace, which could only seem more fake and dated with the years. That is why Trilling insisted on calling Frost, to his face, "a terrifying poet." Really, he had less in common with Longfellow than with Sophocles, "who made plain ... the terrible things of human life."

Trilling's remarks came in for what seems now like a surprising amount of criticism. When the New York Times reported on the speech, affronted readers wrote to suggest that Trilling should be taken "to the woodshed," while Frost consoled himself with "a nice plate of buckwheat pancakes and Vermont maple syrup." This anxious resort to the very clichés of Americana, which Trilling had decried, only proved how right he was. It was vital, for Frost's longterm artistic reputation, to separate the maple syrup from the poetry.

If the Internet existed first, before newspapers, would anyone have invented newspapers?

Warren Buffett, in reply to a question about investing in the newspaper business

My blackbirds arrived up here today. They are my first sign of approaching Spring. Five days later than last year (yes, I write the date in pencil on my cabin wall, next to the window. Doesn't everybody?). Using basic math, that means we must be 1.36% colder this year than last year, and are entering an ominous cooling period. What is snow-cover, after all, but the big glacier - in kindergarten? Or in senescence?

What are blackbirds? It's generic for grackles, red-wings, cowbirds, and their relatives, around here. They flock together and migrate together, as birds of a feather do. In breeding season, though, they stick with their own kind. Very wise to do so.

I know exactly when they arrive, because they remember me, and empty my bird feeder in five minutes. Very hungry after their overnight flight, irritable, mentally ragged, noisily complaining, and jet-lagged. Like the Jet Blue customers.

No one has a right to happiness.

Eric Hoffer

How would you like to be running Duke's PR office these days?

LaShawn has the details. Of course, the conduct of officials and the profs is the real story here. I will quote one of LaShawn's excellent commenters, one Batyah:

Where are the feminists, you ask? Just about the only thing that can get the feminists riled up these days is talk about the evil government’s refusal to subsidize daycare, or putting limits on abortion demand. Prosecution and stoning of rape victims in Iran? Clitoris clipping of small girls in Egypt? Naw . . . but the real critical issues are those things that affect pretentious, pampered yuppie women or the rights of their selected mascots (as in this alleged rape case, American “brown women,” exempting, of course, those American brown women whom they employ to raise the children that they had but don’t want to raise themselves. Those nanny women must forfeit their brown-given rights to equality and career advancement. Otherwise, who will mind the babies for the American feminists?

Coyote took the time to take a close look at some of the findings of the McKinsey report on the cost of American medical care. One quote:

Ooh, those greedy doctors.  They are the problem!  But read carefully, especially the last sentence.  He makes clear doctors in the US are not making more because they charge more, they make more because they see more patients --- ie, they work harder than their European counterparts.  Where have I heard this before?  Again, in every other industry you can name, the fact that our workers work harder than their European counterparts is a good thing, leading to lower costs and higher productivity.  So why is it suddenly bad in medicine?  For this I would instead draw the conclusion that their are perhaps too many procedures (an expected outcome of the screwy incentives in the system) and thus too many doctors.  Doctors, whom Mr. Pearlstein paints as enemy number one in the health care system, are actually its greatest asset, being 60% more productive than their European counterparts, certainly something to build on.

1910. And it's for sale, too. Think about it. What sort of fiberglass bathtub does your boat club use?

 

 From Tim Blair:

The New York Times takes all the fun out of snowmaking:

As global warming continues to wreak havoc with the weather, snowmakers impose a nostalgic order — albeit one that does nothing to help the situation, since snowmaking runs on electricity (and water, of course, one and a half to six gallons a minute, depending on the size of the machine). Charles Santry, president of Snow Economics, said his Backyard Blizzard Sport machine, which has a 1.5 horsepower engine, can use up to 1,650 watts. A clothes dryer guzzles more power, but snowmaking is certainly not going to win any green awards.

Neither will producing the New York Times.

This oldie just came in over the transom:

Question 1:If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded - and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:It is time to elect a new national leader. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Decide first... then go to Continuation Page for the response.

Absolute power corrupts even when exercised for humane purposes. The benevolent despot who sees himself as a shepherd of the people still demands from others the submissiveness of sheep.

Eric Hoffer

What was wrong with that UNICEF Report that slammed the US? Shrinkwrapped takes a look at the report's assumptions.

And speaking of income inequalities, Sowell looked at the extremely high pays of some CEOs in January, in NRO

"Good freaking luck" to Harvard's new pres, says Coyote.

Scott admires Smokey Robinson as he turns 67. Love the guy.

Is Russia ready for democracy? Siberian Light quotes a guy who says No.

Democracy is not the answer to Russia’s problems, actually in today’s environment it may add to them.  Would Russia would be better if it were democratic is like asking if you prefer peace to war - the answer is axiomatic.  However, democracy is not about voting and the right to vote.  That is purely the symbol.  Real democracy can only happen when rights and responsibilities are balanced.  Russia is not there yet.

It's always interesting to ponder the cultural, economic, educational and psychological/characterological requirements for political freedom.

Adding to blogroll - better late than never: Daniel Drezner. Top of his blog today - a depressing piece on Pakistan.

"The Marines." Weds. night, 9 Eastern, on PBS (!). For once, wish I had a TV. (thanks, Reader)

"When issues of public policy are discussed in the outward form of an argument, often the conclusions reached are predetermined by the assumptions and definitions inherent in a particular vision of social processes. Different visions, of course, have different assumptions, so it is not uncommon for people who follow different visions to find themselves in opposition to one another across a vast spectrum of unrelated issues. (This happens) in such disparate fields as law, foreign policy, the environment, racial policy, military defense, education, and many others. To a remarkable extent, however, empirical evidence is neither sought beforehand nor consulted after a policy has been instituted. Facts may be marshaled for a position already taken, but that is very different from systematically testing opposing theories by evidence. Momentous questions are dealt with essentially as conflicts of vision."

Thomas Sowell, from "Vision of the Anointed"

Botnet attacks in the past two days have again overwhelmed our servers at times. Sorry for the annoyance, but it ain't our fault.

We used to post interesting complaints from time to time, but the onslaught has been overwhelming.  It's time for some praise, for relief. "We get letters..." as Mad Magazine used to say:

"A very hip blog, but not enough Buddhism." Allen Ginsberg

"I check it frequently." Thomas Brewton at View from 1776

"Maggie's is my favorite blog." G.K. Chesterton

"Les Aubes sont navrantes!" Arthur Rimbaud

"Maggie's Farm is a daily Ivy League education - and no exams." George W. Bush

"There is always a surprise on Maggie's Farm." Rocky Raccoon

"I envy your IQs." Albert Einstein

"Nice blog, but yo - where the cheesecake at?" Bill Clinton

"Eclectic but confusing. What are you all about, and why do you bother?" SL in Indianapolis

"This is your third and final notice. Your electric bill is past due." New England Light and Power

"You waste too much time with it, and you shouldn't have to edit everything - but I do enjoy reading Maggie's sometimes." My first wife

"What is a "blog"?" MR in Covington, KY

"I agree with you 100%"  Rick Moran at RingWingNutHouse

"A very fine, refined, and unpredictable poetry selection. Love it."  T.S. Eliot

"A bit centrist for my taste, but the blog opens my mind." Markos Jones ("Mr. Jones") at Daily Kos

"An essential once-a-year read." TC in Toronto

"An exemplar of the true American spirit." George Washington

"You are cybersluts who would sell your souls for a reader." JT, CIO, Interplanetary Industries, Ltd.

"You sure do know your tractors and your hotdish." Johan Johanssen in Minnesota

"Good Injun braves. Heap big hunters. Only blog in casino." Chief Sitting Bull

"Excellent New England bog, I mean brog, I mean - hey, pal, that's my drink!" Ted Kennedy

"Maggie's Farm has true grit." John Wayne

"Maggie's Farm 'gets it'." Frederick Hayek

"Most misunderappreciated politically centrist, intelligent, and groovy website in the Milky Way." Powerpine

"We put Maggie's on our blogroll, but it was like 'pity sex'." Balloon Juice

"You will be the first to die, filthy counter-revolutionary pigs." Lenin

"You will be next to die, filthy infidel pigs." Omar Muhammed el Rashid al Ramal, in London

"A bunch of f***ing goddam fascist counter-revolutionary pigs who I will have lined up and shot, you f***ing  c***suckers." Hillary Clinton

"Maggie's makes me feel square and old-fashioned." Sigmund Freud

"A deep understanding of the challenges facing Western Civilization." Lionel Trilling

"The blog that knows the blues." Sonny Boy Williamson

"The blog that knows the Constitution." James Madison

" .............................. ."  Instapundit

"Maggie's Farm has raised my ticket sales by getting my name out, so hurry and place your ads here now!"  William Shakespeare

"I ain't gonna work on Maggie's Farm no more." Bob Dylan

"Hey - that photo is the farmhouse I grew up in." David Burge, my hero, at IowaHawk

"Hey Bird Dog - I just stubbed my toe on the Spanish Steps. Owww. Ouchie." Ezra Pound

"Excellent taste in whine." Robert Parker (Parker rating for the 2006 Maggie's Farm: "32. Corked, overly-sweet, too much gunpowder, aftertastes of liver, diver duck and old owl. Past its prime, worn-out even though it was never any good. Drink now if a desperate alcoholic, or, if not, put down the drain immediately.")

"You lean a bit left, but you are otherwise quite likeable." John Ashcroft

"My sixth or seventh...or maybe eighth... I dunno... favorite blog." His Royal Highness Roger De Hauteville, King of Sicily (brevetted)

"If you were in Europe, you'd be in jail where you belong, writing your memoirs on fine French toilet paper." Jacques Chirac

"Les oiseaux - fantastique!" John J. Audubon

"God bless you all at Margie's Kitchen for your good work. I'd like to offer to name your Connecticut contributors 'Honorary Democrats.' Would that be something they might like? There would be a photo with Nancy Pelosi." Joe Lieberman 

"Your blog is a good example of why we need to limit political speech in America. Free speech is one thing, but you make it clear why we need limits. Even roads have speed limits. Not everything needs to be said." John McCain

"What is all this hideous right-wing nonsense? Do you all really mean all this?" My sister in MA

"Hey Bird Dog, get away from my quail." Elvis Presley

Image: A 1950 Farmall Model C