We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
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Sunday, April 6. 2008
I take a good hammer and pound a 1" dowel into the ground about 12-18" deep, 2-3 holes per shrub (including roses), and fill the dowel hole with a cheap all-purpose fertilizer. I make the holes within the drip-line of the plant. It seems to work well. Fertilizer thrown on the surface just washes away and never gets to the roots.
I do it now, before the leaves emerge in Yankeeland. Roots wake up and start getting active and growing at least 4 weeks before you see any greening - and the roots are the root of the matter. I repeat in June, if I remember and if I feel like it. Definitely twice for the roses, though. They are hogs.
If I don't want a plant to grow more vigorously, I don't fertilize it. Incentives, you know.
Speaking of outdoor chores, I am working on an update of my Maggie's Farm Exclusive Lawn Care post. I did lime my lawns today, too, despite the icebox weather. The "poor man's fertilizer" adjusts the soil pH around here. It's good that it comes in pelletized form now.
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And I might add, thank the good Lord for the pelletized lime. At least you can broadcast it over the lawn, rather than fighting with a drop-spreader. I don't want to remember the old days. Sheesh.
Yes - white dust everywhere, including all over oneself. I use the pelletized in the spreader, tho.
We use rotary spreaders. Highly recommended, especially if you have a big area to lime.
I mow about two acres and my grass was looking puny so I went to Lowe's and bought a spreader and some fertilizer. I had to put the spreader together and decided rather than run away fast because there were *directions*, I determined to do it myself. I did. I was very proud and pretend-fertilized my living room with my handiwork to get ready for the real thing. I took it out to the front yard and dumped the fertilizer in the spreader. I did sort of cringe at the size of my new spreader and the size of my lawn, but I gave it the old heave-ho only to get stopped with a loud grunt and the handle jammed into my stomach. I fiddled with the thing that makes the holes bigger, and that helped but only to the point of what it's like to drive with the brakes on. I thought well maybe I can pull it. That worked, sorta. But after grunting and sweating for five rows of white dust, I gave up. I was not going to let anyone driving by see me grunt n' sweat. I went out about 9:30 at night and did it. It proved too much for me, so I asked my neighbor if he'd do it. He had a big tractor with that rotary spreader and had it all done in twenty minutes. I took my handy dandy spreader down to the gates where I live and left it. It was gone by morning. I am absolutely, completely, assuredly positive I followed the directions. Positive. No doubt in my mind. :)
Yes Meta... with your eye for detail I'm sure you didn't miss a step. Funny story and thanks for sharing it. But the B. does have a point you know :)
There are few things in this life that I "covet", however this is one of those things:
After you have chosen color (orange, or camo), you can then choose quality of cage--I choose steel doors, etc. (*But Then*) you get to pick the toys! Look up to the tool bar and click on attachments (these are for my beloved). I am sure somewhere on this website you will find an attachment (under turf maintenance) that will spread fertilizer, seed, etc. for you. ;-)
You get yours, I'll get mine and we can have a race!
Wow....what beauties, AP! I choose the bright orange with all the accoutrements. I'll drive that baby into town for groceries. One question: Is it air-conditioned? And does it have a stereo?
And, YES, gentlemen. A woman needs a man! I take no offense whatsoever. :}
Meta, I just have on question regarding your spreader affair. Why did you follow the directions to build the thing?
AP, I need one o' dem chere rigs for draggin' the big un's out. Sweeeet!
"Why did you follow the directions to build the thing?"
Not sure why. Probably for the same reason I told AP I had one question and asked two.
haw haw haw. I have my finger in my ear. De udder wun is op me nose. :)
Jephnol is giving away 'our' secrets... dang it. Which are, never read the directions... they only confuse and complicate the assembly. Just do it by touch and feel... and also, you need to hold the parts up in front of your face and study them real hard. Makes all the difference.
Hey. Very cool. I am like one of the guys! When something is wrong with a vehicle, I ask someone to open the hood (I am afraid of that fearsome endeavor) and then I put my eyebrows together and look at the engine. I will it to fix itself. My will must be compromised by too many donuts because it never works. I still do it, though. I am very consistent, thank you.
Meta you're the best. Dam funny too, don't think for a second that I did'nt get my magnifying glass out and look at the small pictures of you in that eye chart, last week.Dam good lookin too!!! : - )
Well, Jappy, how sweet! You made me blush. I hope I don't get a pimple.
I want to know how you knew that was me in the eye chart?
I was playing 'nurse' that day. :)
Yes, you're awfully close to the 'source' Meta... perhaps work on the eyebrows a bit more, that is where the energy is strongest, right there, just above the nose. Shed those doubts... believe in the Force.
Shoot Luther, who's givin' away the secrets now? Next you're goin' ta tell her about the screwin' yer mouth up while you're knittin' yer brows thing too!
An don' go gettin' bewitched gents, she's jus' tryin' ta get the secrets frum us boys. Just go'n ask Buddy. She done bewitched him and he done up an' vanished. Poof. I'll bet he's ta one who up and limed her back two. Where's he at? Hmmm?
(Talk sweet to her, but don't look in her eyes).
Well Meta, yer lookin' might fetchin' this evenin'. Nothin' mysterious 'bout what we do when we's fixin' ta build a thang. Hells bells, you can do it too. Just read them instructions with a straight face and do t'all just like it says. Works ever' time. If'n you need a hand you just holler, ya' hear Meta Mechanic?
Well at least I didn't tell her about the hand on the chin part... that is a secret.
That is a great secret, Luther. Don't tell anyone. I won't either.
This is serious. Where is my cowboy? My almost betrothed?
I should put a twitch on him an make him buck for hidin' like this.
Oh! I bet he'll come back when he finds out AP and I are chopping trees down. I know he'd like to watch our skill and talent and Amazon-like womanliness.
Thanks for reminding me of him! You're the best. ***
Whoa there horsies... I've been usurped by one of those Texas cowboys... again. Somehow they have all the charm and lure... must be something about the bottom of their boots :)
Meta, Like most cowboys he broke the pony but he ain't saddle broke hisself. I suggest while your betrothed is off'n riding some chestnut mare you get Sir Luther ta mow your back two. Shoot, the man's willin' to drive hundreds of mile at 2 mph to get to ya'.
Chestnut mare, you say? Why that rascally My-Friend-Flicka-drivin' bad boy. He better pony up a good excuse or I'll show him what ridin's all about. (It's in the thighs.)
As for Sir Luther mowing my back two - and taking into account his inability to distinquish between 'too, to, and two', I AM suspicious..... I don't have any hair on my back. I 'preciate his willingness to drive 2 mph to hep me. I wonder if he vacuums. I think we live about 10 thousand miles apart from once another. Maybe my almost betrothed would lend some horse power.
'Bout yer honey. Womun, ya' gits to be on a pony 'fore you can whip it into a lather, thighs or no thighs. 'N Luther there, at least he'd be whippin' his ponies to git to ya'. Now you'd be changin' yer mind 'bout near a hundered times 'fore he got a mile closer to ya' on that tractor, and that grass ain't goin' ta wait. (One o' the misteries o' the universe, women). Reckon 'for yer lover gets his pony turned around and he gets back home that grass is goin' ta need mowed. One of two thangs girl: Sheep or Roundup. Which it goin' ta be?
Believe in the Force, Luther?
Okay. Can you come over?
Dang Meta... quite an invitation...
So... me and my 18 horse John Deere riding mower will be on our way... course I hope you don't live far away... I can only make about 2 miles to the hour, but I'll be 'right there' :)
Dang is right, Luther. By the time you got to me, we'd be 100 years old and pushin' up the grass you're wantin' to mow. oh, hey... the hose to my kitchen faucet nozzle thingie leaks every now and then. Do you think Billy Mays' Nutty Putty would fix it?
Thank you for the offer. I will send you a Hallmark on your birthday.
Good idea but you can save half on fertilizer by not making the holes quite so deep. 85% of most shrubs' feeder roots are in the top 6-10" of soil. And punch your holes from the drip line of the shrub out to twice that diameter and more so that new roots develop out away from the center of the shrub.
Meta: not to worry--we won't need air conditioning-- we will just drive it right up to the river's edge in the heat of day. That is after we have used all those other toys and/or supervised the use of the other toys. We just have to remember not to park this little baby under the same tree we are falling!
I am proud of you for getting out there and trying to get it done--even after dark! (Have I told you about the time I wanted a new porch?) Seriously though--I truly believe that the giant stores like Home Depot, and Loews came into existence because of women like us!
Say it isn't so!! We get to cut down trees because we have Kibutskis? YAY! Nothing I love better than cutting down a tree. I cut one down the other day and the breaking limb sound crashing all around was too cool for school! Then it thwumped the ground with such a thud I'm sure it made a dent. I forgot to look when I picked it up and threw it in my former-green-now-dead things pile. If we can chop down a tree, I'm in. I'll bring the donuts.
As far as making Lowe's and Home Depots for women, I think you're right because women know better than to bring their man with them. Ever see what happens to a man in one of those stores? A glaze comes over their eyes and they pick up small things that have no meaning and stare at them with much concentration and longing. Personally, I don't get it.