Maggie's Farm

I mow about two acres and my grass was looking puny so I went to Lowe's and bought a spreader and some fertilizer. I had to put the spreader together and decided rather than run away fast because there were *directions*, I determined to do it myself. I did. I was very proud and pretend-fertilized my living room with my handiwork to get ready for the real thing. I took it out to the front yard and dumped the fertilizer in the spreader. I did sort of cringe at the size of my new spreader and the size of my lawn, but I gave it the old heave-ho only to get stopped with a loud grunt and the handle jammed into my stomach. I fiddled with the thing that makes the holes bigger, and that helped but only to the point of what it's like to drive with the brakes on. I thought well maybe I can pull it. That worked, sorta. But after grunting and sweating for five rows of white dust, I gave up. I was not going to let anyone driving by see me grunt n' sweat. I went out about 9:30 at night and did it. It proved too much for me, so I asked my neighbor if he'd do it. He had a big tractor with that rotary spreader and had it all done in twenty minutes. I took my handy dandy spreader down to the gates where I live and left it. It was gone by morning. I am absolutely, completely, assuredly positive I followed the directions. Positive. No doubt in my mind. :)

Wow....what beauties, AP! I choose the bright orange with all the accoutrements. I'll drive that baby into town for groceries. One question: Is it air-conditioned? And does it have a stereo?


And, YES, gentlemen. A woman needs a man! I take no offense whatsoever. :}

"Why did you follow the directions to build the thing?"

Not sure why. Probably for the same reason I told AP I had one question and asked two.

haw haw haw. I have my finger in my ear. De udder wun is op me nose. :)

Well, Jappy, how sweet! You made me blush. I hope I don't get a pimple.

I want to know how you knew that was me in the eye chart?

I was playing 'nurse' that day. :)

That is a great secret, Luther. Don't tell anyone. I won't either.

Believe in the Force, Luther?

Okay. Can you come over?

:}

Dang is right, Luther. By the time you got to me, we'd be 100 years old and pushin' up the grass you're wantin' to mow. oh, hey... the hose to my kitchen faucet nozzle thingie leaks every now and then. Do you think Billy Mays' Nutty Putty would fix it?

Thank you for the offer. I will send you a Hallmark on your birthday.

Say it isn't so!! We get to cut down trees because we have Kibutskis? YAY! Nothing I love better than cutting down a tree. I cut one down the other day and the breaking limb sound crashing all around was too cool for school! Then it thwumped the ground with such a thud I'm sure it made a dent. I forgot to look when I picked it up and threw it in my former-green-now-dead things pile. If we can chop down a tree, I'm in. I'll bring the donuts.

As far as making Lowe's and Home Depots for women, I think you're right because women know better than to bring their man with them. Ever see what happens to a man in one of those stores? A glaze comes over their eyes and they pick up small things that have no meaning and stare at them with much concentration and longing. Personally, I don't get it.