We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes 309 Hart Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510
Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted.
If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Now don't you get all down about this here illegal stuff, 'twas bound ta happen.
Remember my ole dog Lucky, will the rhumatiz done stove me up when he best needed plant'n...well I just went ahead and cross trained my lawn cutt'n Pedro into Pero Padre Pedro for the day and we got'r done.
So look on da bright side. By the way Possumtater sends his best.
Thus the Golden Goose, which could feed the poor forever if let live, may be killed from the top down, via good old universal suffrage. The Forefathers must be spinning, as they say.
Almost all the illegal-immigration hawks lost, on Nov 07. Of course, they were hurt by the "no-half-a-loaf" angry right, which will now face a third of the electorate, in due time, voting Dem automatically, forever.
i dun't knows much 'bout enclave but it do rime wit slave which is what da muslims gonna make us.
I be a hard believe that the govment done trialed and conviked some border patrol folk for enforcin da law...it's big business...day need cheap labor to compete with chinee man.
i got my gun load wit anti illegal and anti-isalmin power.
Oh gosh: those damn ol Texans they will make a deal with anybody! Too bad--I love em so much, because they sure got this one wrong! But, then again have you seen how much of SO. California the Californians have given to Mexico? I don't suppose anybody would agree that there was a "convergence". A place where two extremes come together, and intersect: for example the idea of sheltering all of the poor Mexicans in the world shall "converge" with the idea of protecting our environment; shall converge with the idea of limited family growth; shall converge with the idea of one woman, one vote; shall converge with the idea of the "truth shall set you free" (you know like in when the liberals "Expose" a corrupt Republican?