Maggie's Farm

Hey, remember normal American life? Me neither.

China promotes education drive to make boys more 'manly'

The Proposal to Prevent the Feminisation of Male Adolescents called on schools to fully reform their offerings on physical education and strengthen their recruitment of teachers. The text advised recruiting retired athletes and people from sporting backgrounds - and "vigorously developing" particular sports like football with a view to "cultivating students' masculinity".

The American version is reminding the male students that they'll never be half the man their mother was.

The pandemic is getting better all across the U.S.

Nationwide, the U.S. is averaging about 139,000 new cases per day — a 16% improvement over last week, which was a 16% improvement over the week before.

Flu season in the US runs from October to February. It's February. You're welcome

UK banks given six months to prepare for negative interest rates

Threadneedle Street’s monetary policy committee (MPC) voted unanimously to keep the official interest rate at historically low levels while it agreed to set the deadline for banks to prepare themselves after policymakers said they were ready to make negative lending rates part of their toolkit.

Well, after giving away money doesn't work, there's nothing left to do but pay you to take it.

23andMe set to go public via a Virgin Group SPAC merger

23andMe, founded in 2006 and led by co-founder Anne Wojcicki, has raised a total of just under $900 million to date, including an $85 million Series F round announced last December. The company was one of the first to debut at-home genetic testing for individual consumers, providing kits that people can use to find out more about their own DNA, and what it says about their potential health issue, ancestry and more.

If you're unfamiliar with 23andMe, they're like Facebook, but instead of spying on your browsing habits, they rifle through your medical waste if you're dumb enough to send it to them.

Blue Check Homes. Get a Verified Blue Badge on your home

The blue verified badge on your house lets people outside know that you're an authentic public figure. To receive the blue check crest, there must be someone authentic and notable actively living in the house.

What a glorious hoax.

Kia Motors Shares Jump After Report Apple to Invest $3.6 Billion

The iPhone maker plans to set up production with Kia and build Apple cars at the automaker’s facility in Georgia, U.S., DongA Ilbo reported, without citing anyone. The companies may sign a deal on Feb. 17 and aim to introduce Apple cars in 2024, according to the newspaper, which said they have an initial target to produce 100,000 autos a year.

You can get it in any color you want, as long as it's... white?

Found traces of antidepressants and painkillers in crustaceans on Svalbard

Researchers from SINTEF, the Norwegian Polar Institute and the University Centre in Svalbard have collected samples from Arctic crustaceans close to the settlement of Ny-Ålesund on the west coast of Spitsbergen. During the spring and summer, they discovered a number of drugs in a variety of different concentrations. “These included ibuprofen from Ibux, diclofenac from Voltaren, antibiotics and an antidepressant,” says SINTEF researcher Ida Beathe Øverjordet.

You know, I'd kinda noticed that my Svalbard mollusks seemed a tad taciturn recently. They've completely lost the urge to fetch sticks and dig in the garden, too.

NY restaurant couple mistakenly served $2000 Mouton 1989 after ordering $18 Pinot

Staff at Balthazar poured the two wines into identical decanters, but the one containing Mouton Rothschild 1989 was accidentally sent to the young couple’s table, said the New York restaurant’s owner, Keith McNally. Four Wall Street businessmen at another table had ordered the Bordeaux First Growth – the most expensive wine on the restaurant’s list at $2,000 (£1,528) – but were served the $18 Pinot, the restaurant’s cheapest, said McNally on his Instagram account.

I remember this one time I was at a boring convention, but they had an open bar with a half-decent wine selection. I guess I sorta took advantage of the open bar thing. After my eighth trip across the auditorium to get another glass, a guy handed me a big trophy, a pretty girl kissed me, and the master of ceremonies announced over the public address system that I'd won the dance contest.

Amazon plans to install always-on surveillance cameras in its delivery vehicles

The hardware and software will be supplied by Netradyne, a California company behind a platform called Driveri that uses cameras and artificial intelligence to analyze a driver as they operate the vehicle. The camera then gives real-time feedback — including automated suggestions like “distracted driving” and “please slow down” — while collecting analysis that is used to later evaluate drivers during their shifts.

Amazon should just install the driver's mother-in-law in a jump seat and get it over with.

Corporations Listed In Fortune 500 More Likely To Commit Financial Fraud, Study Finds

“What these companies were doing was essentially fudging the numbers, lying to investors, other companies and the SEC,” said Schwartz. “Eventually, you have to make up for the money that was lost, that really never existed, so shareholders lose money, people lose retirement plans, people lose jobs. It’s very, very damaging.”

I was walking down the sidewalk in New York once, when I noticed a stockbroker I'd met at a party recently coming towards me. "Hello," he lied.

A GameStop Evangelist’s Videos Draw a Regulator’s Attention

“Firms don’t allow employees to go out and make predictions on stock,” he said of employees who aren’t analysts. Many financial firms also require employees to disclose if they have brokerage accounts with other firms to monitor their trading activities, he added. Mr. Gill, as a securities broker, is registered with FINRA. His broker registration does not indicate he has any outside business activities. FINRA rules prohibit brokers from filing incomplete or misleading information about themselves.

This dude is in for an SEC enema with a Maxine Waters rubdown finish. He'll be used as a political football. If he's useful in their endless efforts to raise taxes, they'll call him a little guy and let him keep the vig. If he hurt the wrong hedgies, they'll stake him out on an anthill. But his real problem comes later. Some enterprising lawyer with a client who dumped their college money into GameStop and lost it all will sue him, and win. It's pit bull season, and he's wearing milk bone underwear.

Well, that's the links for today. Don't forget to shift your buttocks slightly on the couch at least once a day.