Bird Dog's at the vet, getting his teeth sharpened or something. Sorry, you're stuck with me again. I'm afraid I'm rather cranky this morning. On top of my general demeanor, I haven't read a newspaper or watched TV in over 20 years. That indicates that this isn't shaping up to be an informative session for you fine people. However, I'll do my best, because back in my day, we gave everything our best effort, even if it was doomed to failure. You know, like elections and public school.
What went wrong with America’s $44 million vaccine data system?
“It won’t work on Internet Explorer; it only works in Chrome. The ‘Next’ button is all the way down and to the right, so if you’re on a cell phone, you literally can’t see it,” says Rowe. “In the first round, people using VAMS mostly had advanced degrees. If you’re 75 and someone asks you to log into VAMS, there is zero way it’ll happen without help.”
Back in my day, a woman with a beehive hairdo and more eyeshadow than Cleopatra wearing eyeglasses on a chain would make our doctor's appointments, and we were too terrified of her to miss one.
My 90s TV: You can browse 1990s Television
Well, I didn't browse 1990s television in the 1990s, and I'm not going to start now. And back in my day, we used a compliant toddler to change the channel, not a remote.
Amazon’s Ring now reportedly partners with more than 2,000 US police and fire departments
All but two US states — Montana and Wyoming— now have police or fire departments participating in Amazon’s Ring network, which lets law enforcement ask users for footage from their Ring security cameras to assist with investigations, the Financial Times reported.
Why, back in my day, we made the Stasi build their own system of totalitarian surveillance.
Lunik: Inside the CIA’s audacious plot to steal a Soviet satellite
Silveti had paid his brother-in-law to send his workers on vacation and broke a hole in an exterior wall large enough for a truck to pass through. CIA station vehicles idled outside, their drivers studying their mirrors for agents of the KGB. Meanwhile, the farewell party was underway at the hotel. According to Silveti, the Soviet soldiers “let loose with the American prostitutes, and with the drinks.” Zambernardi’s son Paul told me that his father bought LSD to “put a Mickey on them all.” With every shot of tequila, thoughts of shipping manifests and cargo evaporated.
Why, back in my day, we had to pay for our own LSD and prostitutes.
Silver swept up by GameStop retail frenzy, prices soar
Silver broke above $30 an ounce for the first time since 2013 on Monday as an army of retail traders stormed into the metal after betting billions of dollars on stocks last week, triggering risks of a multi-asset melt-up in global markets.
Why back in my day, we had to mine our own silver.
Sniff. Sob. I Miss Guillows
I loved building those crazy WWI biplanes and triplanes. The construction was unbelievably intricate. It was basically building the actual plane, just smaller. The wings and fuselage would get covered with some sort of flimsy paper stuff, and you’d paint it with some kind of toxic goo that gave you a headache for a month
Why, back in my day, our parents encouraged us to sniff glue.
This IoT Mesh Network Watches You As You Shop - Without Cameras
Online retailers know a lot about how their customers are navigating their virtual stores. Offline retailers are not so lucky. Together with consumer behavior experts B:Clarity and a multinational home appliance brand we built a system to help understand customer movement and behavior.
Back in my day, you had to shoplift something to get followed around the store like that.
Access to vocational education can boost income over the long term
Policymakers are growing increasingly interested in the effects of vocational training on labour-market outcomes. This column uses a quasi-experimental design based on admissions cut-offs to secondary education in Finland to study the long-term effects of access to vocational education.
Why, back in my day, we'd greet research like this with a resounding, "Duh." And vocational training consisted of a very dirty plumber yelling at you to go get a Stilson wrench off the truck, and be back in two minutes or you're fired.
Hedge fund Melvin sustains 53% loss after Reddit onslaught
The New York-based hedge fund sustained a $4.5 billion fall in its assets from the end of last year to $8 billion, even after a $2.75 billion cash injection from Steve Cohen’s Point72 Asset Management and Ken Griffin’s Citadel. Melvin became the target of retail traders who coordinated to drive up the share price of GameStop on online message boards such as Reddit, after the firm disclosed its bet against the company in regulatory filings.
Back in my day, you didn't have to hire an expert to lose half your money in the stock market. You could just buy ten shares of anything and vote democrat.
Myanmar army seizes power in coup and declares state of emergency for one year
The coup follows a disputed election in November that Suu Kyi's National League for Democracy party won by a landslide. The main opposition party, the army-backed Union Solidarity and Development Party, claimed the vote was marred by fraud. Myanmar's election commission rejected the allegations but tensions between the two sides had been rising for weeks.
Back in my day, jokes about coups following stolen elections didn't just write themselves. And we called it Burma.
And of course, back in my day, we told everyone to have a nice day. I still do, and mean it.
