Maggie's Farm

People demand perfect behavior, appropriate dress, and positive achievements of their kids.

Don't get out much, do you? Every day I see ill-kempt, surly, lackadasical college students drag their shiftless butts into my (2pm!) lectures a half-hour after the start. Later they bitch about assignments they've procrastinated on for a week, and whine for extra credit opportunities. They've clearly been reared by wolves, who expect the public schools to handle everything from reading to deportment to potty training. Given the frequency of out-of-wedlock births and layabout baby daddies camping out in the basement, I'd say that the only hard parental expectation is that their offspring not hook up with a serial killer. Or anyone with a job.

OTOH, thank God these are still a minority.

Oh, around here they come! Usually after midnight, with a pickup truck, and clean out everything that can be pawned or fenced. They'll often clean the wheels right off that new truck you left parked in the driveway, too. Have some neighbors who learned the hard way. Put your $50,000 car in the (closed, locked) garage, instead of the $300 worth of useless crap you have piled in there right now. Extra bonus: this works for those surprise hailstorms, too.