Maggie's Farm

I have a headache. I have a headache that has zip codes. I have a headache that should join the circus and be exhibited. I have a headache that would make Dante buy a Spirograph and get back to work. I have a headache that can only be described with Latin nouns. I have a headache that makes the back of my eyes behave like a stripper's tits.

But I don't mind my headache, really, because somewhere in the back of my throbbing skull, there's still room for a sunny little spot that reminds me that I have never had a Facebook page.

On to the Saturday links!

Ekiben is a prized, and some would say essential, element of long-distance train travel in Japan.

As I made my way through the meandering hallways of Tokyo Station, I felt like a pilgrim making a monumental journey, before my actual trip. I was headed to the mecca of ekiben – beloved boxed meals created specifically for long train journeys. Like the crowds bustling around me, I had a train to catch, and my last order of business was to find myself some lunch for the ride.

I filed this essay under, "Every culture but my own is wonderful."

Scam Victim Loses $48,000 Claim Against Canadian Bitcoin ATM Firm

The woman, unnamed for security reasons, deposited 62,500 Canadian dollars into a bitcoin automated teller machine believing she owed taxes. It was a fraud. A man claiming to represent the Canada Revenue Agency called her, threatening the new immigrant with arrest and deportation for tax default.

She's new in town. She didn't know that the Canadian government only accepts Canadian Tire Money to avoid deportation.

How An Amateur Rap Crew Stole Surveillance Tech That Tracks Almost Every American

Alerts on Da Boss’ iPhone warned that his Google Nest surveillance cameras with views into and outside the apartment had picked up movement. Outside, a full cast of law enforcement personnel from the Secret Service, the U.S. Postal Inspection Service and the local police department were primed to swoop in. Inside, they found piles of marijuana and multiple firearms. More intriguing, there were bundles of cash alongside fake-ID-card printers, 36 credit card blanks and reams of printouts containing American citizens’ personal data. Investigators spotted the Nest cameras and would soon make the first publicly known federal government demand for customer information and surveillance footage from Google’s smart home division.

Men who yell singsong doggerel into microphones held at a funny angle used LEO surveillance equipment to steal money from boosted credit cards, but their thermostat ratted them out. Man, I have a headache reading that.

Elon Musk might be getting into the tequila business

Earlier this week, Tesla filed an application with the US Patent and Trademark Office to trademark the name for a “distilled agave liquor” and “distilled blue agave liquor,” according to a CNBC report.

Speaking of headaches, sing along with me: One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...

The S.E.C. Dusts Off a Never-Used Cyber Enforcement Tool

In a cease-and-desist order against Voya Financial Advisors, the investment advisory unit of Voya Financial, the commission used the “Identity Theft Red Flags Rule” to censure the firm for allowing hackers to access social security numbers, account balances and even details of client investment accounts.

There's a new sheriff in town, isn't there? Exxon spills a little oil and some birds get gooey, and they get a billion dollar fine. Data loss causes a lot more damage. Start treating it like an oil spill, and these little code monkey CEOs will wise up fast.

Facebook Says Hackers Stole Detailed Personal Data From 14 Million People

A smaller slice of people were more heavily affected. About 400,000 people served as the hackers’ entry point to the 30 million others on Facebook. For those 400,000, the attackers could see what the users see as they look at their own profiles. That included posts on their Facebook timelines, and names of recent Facebook Messenger conversations.

You know, I can solve this online privacy problem in about ten minutes. There are stalking laws on the books, aren't there? Make them apply to the internet. One big button required on every website that says, STOP FOLLOWING ME, AND ERASE MY INFO. If they don't, prosecute them like any other creeper ex-boyfriend or jilted bunny boiler.

Facebook Says Russian Firms ‘Scraped’ Data, Some for Facial Recognition

On the same day Facebook announced that it had carried out its biggest purge yet of American accounts peddling disinformation, the company quietly made another revelation: It had removed 66 accounts, pages and apps linked to Russian firms that build facial recognition software for the Russian government. Facebook said Thursday that it had removed any accounts associated with SocialDataHub and its sister firm, Fubutech, because the companies violated its policies by scraping data from the social network.

Please note that Facebook regards these sorts of things as an accounts receivable problem, not a security problem. If you paid them, you could do it all you want. They have an app for that, I bet.

Are Influencers Overrated? A new study questions the effectiveness of targeting “hubs” at the center of social networks.

While tackling this question, a team of Stanford researchers found a remarkable result: Simply seeding a few more people at random avoids the challenge of mapping a network’s contours and can spread information in a way that is essentially indistinguishable from cases involving careful analysis; seeding seven people randomly may result in roughly the same reach as seeding five people optimally.

Yes, but you can get into trouble for simply seeding more people at random. Ask Antonio Cromartie.

Retracting Offer Of Laptop For Rs 190 Costs Amazon Rs 12,000

Amazon India has been told to pay Rs 10,000, besides litigation costs of Rs 2,000, to a law student for causing mental agony by retracting an offer of a laptop for Rs 190 after the complainant had placed an order for the same

If my math is good, which it's not, because I have a headache, 10,000 rupees is about 135 bucks American. I think Bezos the Clown can swing it.

President Trump Just Signed a Law That Radically Changes Life for Airline Passengers, Flight Attendants, and Airlines (Almost Nobody Even Noticed)

Instead, this is about the Federal Aviation Administration bill that President Trump signed into law a little before 3 p.m. Friday--just before the moment when everyone else in Washington was watching a key senator's speech about Judge Brett Kavanaugh. To be clear, there's no suggestion that the White House intentionally picked a time when people weren't paying attention to sign the bill. This law had passed Congress with overwhelming support, and industry players and airline lobbyists have been watching it like hawks for a long time.

I'm a pretty fair writer, even when I have a headache, but this guy has me beat. How does he manage to write about something so mundane while twisting himself into manifold contortions like an origami, short-bus, Ida Tarbell? That's talent. Of a sort

Have a great Saturday, everyone!