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Thursday, September 18. 2014
Our post on tipping the other day raised the issue. As Christmas season is quickly approaching, I reviewed in my mind all the people to whom I give gratuities (ie material Thank Yous) at Christmastime, and throughout the year.
- our two garbagemen - $50 each before Christmas - horrible job, hard work,
I believe that I am pretty much in the mainstream on this. I am missing a few on that list, can't remember them all.
What do you do?
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I do nothing. I am afraid of offending people who do NOT celebrate Christmas.
I have 6 sons who have all worked as caddies. The club has a no tipping policy, so the manager would say 'don't tip.' But none of the guys would be there if they didn't get tips. A golfer once asked one of the boys how much he should tip, my son answered, "well think of your server at a restaurant, who has several other tables while serving you. I serve only you for five hours, and carry the table on my shoulders."
$40 should be a minimum per round
you give away your money to all those people??? Incredible You must be filthy rich. But out of your list, I dont have:
hotel room staff
porters at airports and hotels
food delivery guys,
parking garage guys
cabbies and limo drivers
club and golf club staff
yard helpers or
You MUST be rich, or maybe you were before you went to all those places
I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip. If they put forth the effort, I'll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
Mr. Pink was the first person I thought of when I saw this post.
Could be wrong, but I don't think you are in the mainstream. At least not down here in the South. I don't have a family lawyer, park my own car when we go out, no club or golf club, mow my own grass, fix my own stuff and when I can't I don't tip cause they get paid a wage to do that. I don't get delivery food except the odd pizza now and then and I tip the driver a buck. Carpet cleaners? They get paid a wage. Maids? Same thing. My accountant is my own computer and I don't buy fancy coffee. I tip servers depending on the service 15 to 20 percent.
I agree with bgarrett. You must be rich. Which is hard to figure since you are wasting a lot of money paying people who are already being paid.
Not rich by any means. I would say "comfortable", as long as I go to work every day.
I only frequent a few eateries so if something happens and I forget to leave a tip, they know I'll make up for it the next time. They also know I make sure that good service is rewarded.
Someplace I don't patronize too often, I tip well if they've earned it and I usually keep enough $2 bills to leave on the table that I figure they'll remember me if I return.
When I was traveling regularly to a job some 50 miles from home for an extended period of time, I'd drop the occasional buck or 2 in the jar at the Subway I visited in the early mornings, and at Xmas time I made an extra stop just to drop off a bottle of wine and 10 dollar gift card for the 2 girls that always worked that shift.
Postman at Christmas time knocks on door with special delivery. Wife in see through negligee invites him in. There's a table laid out with an elaborate breakfast spread. When he finishes his meal she invites him into her boudoir. As he's leaving she hands him a dollar.
He: It's been very nice and it's not that I'm ungrateful but I am a little confused.
She: Oh, I asked my husband what we should tip you for Christmas. He said f**k him, give him a buck. Breakfast was my idea.
Likewise. Nearly all the job categories the Barrister tips are ones that I do myself or utilize rarely if at all, so the issue of tipping doesn't come up.
"I believe that I am pretty much in the mainstream on this."
And this is based on what research?
When I am staying more than one night in the same hotel I leave a tip for the maid each day, under the pillow on the bed so that only the person who makes the bed can see it. By the end of a two-week stay in one hotel out west I was getting thank-you notes from the room staff (not the prepared notes asking for a tip, but hand-written notes thanking me).
Working in the telephone business I worked in all the major Boston hotels.
The concierge of one hotel mentioned to me that if asked about tipping the maid by a guest he always suggests leaving a handwritten note with at least the words "Thank You" on it. Occasionally a guest will forget to pick up their cash when leaving and accuse the staff of theft if it's gone. The note protects the maid.
BTW. This was a "high-end" Hotel that serviced the upper crust. Hence the shitty behavior. Never heard the same from the staff at Motel Six.
First, maybe someone here can advise. I am married to a daughter of a hair dresser and I know they should be tipped because they rent their space. My question is, do you tip the barber when he is the owner and only employee? My thought is No because he isn't renting a chair. He should charge the price he needs.
As for the rest, nothing wrong with being rich at all, in fact I admire and respect that badge of honor, but I don't think you are in the mainstream. I don't have or use most of your list. I've never been to a coffee shop and I avoid porters and valet as though they have ebola. I would never tip what I call a professional, ie. lawyer, doctor, engineer... They have earned the right to charge a lot and that is all I am going to pay. I fix\do everything myself on my house. And sending flowers at Christmas isn't a tip, it's something you do for people on your list.
Based on your tipping protocol, you are a thoughtful and generous person.
Relating to the previous tipping posts (not yours), 15% is the minimum tip at a restaurant even for bad service. It's part of the cost of eating out. If you don't want to pay it, then eat fast food. If it's bad service, leave your min. tip and talk to the manager/owner.
If you stiff a waiter, you should never go back because waiters remember that shit.
You remind me of my BIL and SIL who are upper middle class and live in New England.
FWIW - My list:
garbagemen - unionized with pension - I pay 10k in property taxes a year - they're not getting a cent more from me
mailman - unionized with pension and couldn't deliver the mail to the right address under threat of life
carpet-cleaners - hardwood floors
doctors - my primary has an obamacare bumper sticker on his car - enough said
dentists - my dentist drives a porsche and I drive a 10 year old minivan - enough said
restaurants - 15%, or 20% - ok, I agree
- hotel room staff - I leave a tip at the end of my stay
- my accountant - owns a jaguar and a beach house in Maryland... see note about 10 year old minivan.. plus he knows I can't afford to tip him
- porters at airports and hotels - carry my own bags because I need to exercise and save money
- family lawyer - I do need one of these...
- food delivery guys, $5 - don't do take out, too fattening and expensive
- parking garage guys - if I go to NYC I take the train
- cabbies and limo drivers - if I'm taking the train I'm taking the subway
- coffee shops - McDonald's does not allow tipping - they have the best coffee.
- bartenders - can't afford to go out - we're still in a recession
- club and golf club staff - don't golf
- yard helpers - DIY
- home repairmen - DIY
Concur with all you say, except I have my own carpet shampoo'er for the bedroom carpets.
hehe; a guy who calls himself "The Barrister" thinks he is in the mainstream.
Thanks for the laugh!
Bless your heart, Barrister. You are very generous to all those who serve you. But mainstream? I would wager that most of us in the middle class have taken quite a financial beating in the past few years. On occasion, perhaps monthly, when my husband and I have the chance to have a nice dinner out at our favorite restaurant, we are so grateful for the treat and the usually excellent service that we tip most generously, above the usual 20%.
The rest of your list? Either do not use or do it ourselves. If you believe that you are mainstream, then I am glad that your circle has not been so seriously impacted by the recession/depression. I hope you do not take it for granted.
Mainstream is all relative, I guess.
DIY is great, if and when you can.
I think stinginess with helpers is sinful.
"I think stinginess with helpers is sinful." Though not a church-goer, I would agree with that. I wouldn't think of being stingy with "helpers."
Mainstream is having a bit of trouble recovering from multiple financial hits, as well as the significant inflation in food, fuel, and utilities. Having "helpers" is a luxury in today's America, hence all the references to DIY. We're working hard to replace what we lost in our retirement funds in 2008 (40%) due to the market crash. Raises don't come close to covering the increased costs. We take nothing from the government but lose more and more to it every year. My husband and I had to choose between continuing our charitable giving, or using outside help for the things we felt we couldn't do well. We chose the former and have taught ourselves to handle the latter.
I am so glad that The Barrister can continue using "helpers" and generously tipping them. As I said, we tip our occasional food server quite generously and wouldn't go out to eat if we couldn't.
I still question whether or not he is mainstream. Seems to me that, with the middle-class losing so much of its wealth recently, luxury and discretionary funds are scarce.
No, mainstream is mainstream. Lifestyles are relative.
I've never made more than 40K/year, but I managed to pay cash for a rental property and hope to do that again soon, will pay off my home before I am forty, and have never made a car payment in my life. My mortgage is the only debt I've ever had. I have friends that make more than twice what I do and they claim to be broke. If I made their salaries I would already be retired.
As for DIY, if you make more than the person you would hire to do the job AND you aren't interested in learning it, then it makes sense to hire someone.
"I believe that I am pretty much in the mainstream on this. "
If your river is filled with lawyers, then, yes, you are mainstream.
You're missing a few from your list?? Jeez.
Restaurants: 15-20%. If service is excellent, a couple of bucks extra.
Barber: Haircut costs $17. I hand over a $20 and leave.
Contractor/Handyman: I have worked with a guy for almost ten years who is great. He tells me his price and if I want to, I pay it. I have bought him lunch several times as a small way of thanking him. (We're talking Wendy's or the The Goffle Grill).
Hotel Cleaning Staff: $20 at end of stay (once a year)
Garbagemen: Nuthin'. I pay 16K a year in property taxes.
Mailman: Nuthin'. For what? Delivering junk mail?
No carpet cleaners, no lawyers, no fancy coffee barristas, no cabbies or limos and certainly no golf.
No clue who my garbage men are. How on earth do you know? Our county contracts with a waste management company. For all I know, they are a different set of guys every week.
You don't mention cleaning lady. I give my one-a-week cleaning lady a day's pay as a Christmas bonus.
- our two garbagemen - $50 each before Christmas - horrible job, hard work, ; Nowadays they use a machine that picks up the barrels that I push out and retrieve. And they treat those as if I've done something to their mothers. Before that they ran over my car and caused me a great deal of difficulty. They'll be retired with a pension while I'm still working. Nope, no tips.
- our mailman - $25 at Christmastime; Feel I should but don't - always forget, never know when a replacement is working, rarely home when he comes by.
- our carpet-cleaners - $5-$10 to each guy when they come (I give it before the job, not after - it works well); don't have carpets, Better-Two-Thirds hates carpets.
- our doctors and dentists - we send them all a Harry&David or fancy cheesecake each holiday season; no, can't even imagine why I would consider it
- restaurants - 15%, or 20% if I mean to return; very generous with this especially for good service. Not big on going out for dinner unless traveling but I get very good service when we visit our special place. 20% minimum, sometimes gifts.
- hotel room staff - leave a $20 for them on the table. It's a crappy and thankless job; Almost never. Put out the do not disturb sign; don't need them for a couple steenking nights. For the one week I spend where their services improve the quality of my experience, I tip them generously and they seem happy when I return, but this is an annual thing for nearly a decade now.
- my accountant - a holiday bouquet; he gets enough for doing my taxes, don't have enough $$ to need him otherwise.
- porters at airports and hotels - $5; very generous here. These guys have been getting $1 a bag since I was an infant. Minimum $2/bag and round up. For curbside checkin on the ski trip I go $4-5/bag - That stuff is heavy and awkward to handle and I want it getting where I need it (so far so good). $2-3/bag to the shuttle guys.
- barber - $5 per haircut; $6 normally. I use a chain that sometimes discounts, then $7. And my cut can't be easier - 2 buzz [/i]
- family lawyer - a holiday bouquet; don't have one (family lawyer that is).
- food delivery guys, $5; can't remember the last time I used one. Appliance deliver guys, $10 ea. gets the install done nicely and some old crap carted away, but this is a rare event.
- parking garage guys - $3-5 each time; [/i] parking garage, never crossed my mind. Valet services, $3-5 depending on the setup is about right.[/i]
- cabbies and limo drivers - 15%, unless limo tip is included in the bill; 15-20%, whatever works out best to simplify payment.
- coffee shops - I always leave them a buck or 50 cents. Spread the wealth! Drop the change in the cup if there is one, maybe a buck. Only use these at airports typically and the one I use most doesn't allow tipping. Same for cafeteria style.
- bartenders - around 10-20% of the total; 10%+.
- club and golf club staff - if you don't know what to do, the club managers will make suggestions; wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member.
- yard helpers - once or twice a year I'll give them each a $20; I pay someone to take the leaves in the fall and spring - that particular job always screws up my back. He sends a bill, I pay it. No tip.
- home repairmen - $10 per visit, or $20 for a big or difficult job; they give me a bill, I pay it. No tip.
I have a friend that collects donations for the Pine Ridge Reservation for Christmas. She is good enough to use my donation to buy socks and boots for veterans at the reservation. As I've "been there, done that" I consider it a tip for doing a job that is even sh@#$ier than the job that the garbage man has had to do.
I get my haircuts from the same woman who cuts my wife's hair. She gets a $5 tip from me, every time, and I've never had to wait to get in her chair -- seems I have a standing appointment.
Restaurants - 15 to 20% for normal to great service - usually a minimum of $5 for dinner, $2 for lunch. An even dollar for less than normal service.
Food delivery - $4 or $5
Hotel room staff - I only tip on extended stays and then $2 or $3 a day.
Doctors and dentists - tip? That's funny.
Attorney - I didn't tip the last attorney who did something for me but I paid him with a bottle of scotch.
Yard helpers - the wife hasn't tipped me yet, so I'm also holding out on her.
shoe shine guy - $3
haircut - $5
porter, valet - $1/bag
driver from parking lot to airport - $1-2 (short trip and i carry my own bag)
hotel room - on extended trip $10 otherwise I normally hang the 'DND' sign out and don't require fresh linens
food delivery - rare, but a couple of bucks
food service, bar - 15-20%, more for exceptional service
bowling alley wait staff - $20 at Christmas and $20 at the end of the bowling season
garbage men - new guys every month
mail guy - lots of new guys, poor service generally
coffee shop, donut place - round up to the next dollar; plus a dollar if not sufficient
I agree, spread the wealth. I'm middle class but have found that sharing an extra dollar here or there is appreciated.