Dang. The reporters I call won't write up my evidence that he did. I figured they'd be suckers for my story. They say I have evidence, not proof. They worry about proof when we are in a Class Struggle? And didn't Jesus teach his socialist revolutionaries "What is proof?"
I did hear some tap-tap-tap on the phone a few months ago, but it turned out to be a water leak from the gutter but it was suspiciously aimed at my keyboard and f-ed it up. Then I had some computer problems, and that should be a sure sign of secret government hacker intrusions, so it's very possible they were into my email, but the only emails I get are "Naughty Farm Girls" and my favorite "Fat Girls get Frisky" etc which I hope Bush and those CIA boys enjoyed. I know the dog was barking very loud the other night to warn me the FBI was going through the garbage, and it could have been raccoons - but you never really know for sure, do you?
But I wish I could show that he spied on me. I could go on TV, be famous, write a book, get lots of chicks - or at least one chick maybe (even if she doesn't shave her armpits), and be a Hero of The Movement, like Kerry or Jerry Rubin. Oh, that was 30 years ago? What's it called now? It's all over? And you say chicks prefer military guys nowadays... aw sh-t. Am I too old to sign up?
Hey Dude, please spy on me. I am definitely a certified beer-powered anti-Establishment Revolutionary and a walking talking danger to capitalism - wanta see my disability card? Not working and getting my share is my heroic personal revolt against The System. I would have even voted for McGovern but I was drunk that day. I am so totally supporting Osama's People's Socialist Revolution in Iraq and Afghanistan against the Capitalist System. So listen to me now, Mr. CIA Agent: Viva Che; Make Love not War; Impeach Earl Warren Nixon Warmonger Babykiller Johnson; Ho-ho-Ho Chi Minh, NFL NLF is Gonna Win; US Out Now; Hell no - we won't go; 1-2-3-4-, We don't want your f-ing War; Smash the Glass of the Ruling Class; Support our Troops - Bring them Home Now; America, Love it or Leave It, Draft Beer not Boys; Peace, Baby; Power to the People, Go Steelers and all that other happy horsesh-it.
If the government won't spy on me after saying all that, what can I do to be groovy?
