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Thursday, March 21. 2013

The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of Unwed Mothers: An Economic Mystery

The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of Unwed Mothers: An Economic Mystery. The real question here isn't "Why so many babies?" It's "Why so few marriages?" And we have an answer.


As we say here, building a complex life with social pleasures, financial stability, family structure with continuity, traditions, and reliability, and the general comforts of life, is difficult without marriage and family.

Posted by The Barrister in Our Essays, The Culture, "Culture," Pop Culture and Recreation at 13:21 | Comments (13) | Trackbacks (0)

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1. Feminism

2. Anti-Male Culture (making fun of responsible men, husbands, fathers, government discrimination against men and in favor of women, etc.)

3. The Gay Agenda--Opposite sex not necessary, marriage means whatever we want it to mean.

4. Decline of churches / demonization of Christianity and traditional Christian beliefs of sacredness of marriage and man-woman relationships, to be replaced by secular hookup culture.

5. Numerous government policies penalizing marriage, encouraging woman-initiated divorce and concomitant stripping of assets from men (thus making men wary of entering into marriage), and rewarding irresponsible single mothers.
#1 Jim on 2013-03-21 14:51 (Reply)
1. "Free stuff"

2. "Free stuff"

3. "Free stuff"

4. See above...
#2 GoneWithTheWind on 2013-03-21 15:12 (Reply)
I'm not sure that is true. Being single you can have as complex a life as you want with social pleasures, financial stability and general comforts. Perhaps not family structure but then kids grow up and don't visit over issues or a busy life of their own. Spouses divorce or die. Of course, all bets are off if you are unmarried and have children but then you can have it all set and end up without a spouse and with children. I never married, nor had children and the only difference I see happening in 20 or 30 years when I'm elderly, is I won't watch the driveway wistfully hoping for a long overdue visit.

The lament seems to be that men aren't doing right. Not making themselves marriageable in the eyes of women. But then some people don't wish to play the lotto, marry version or instant cash. Worse still, losing the marriage lotto can take half your assets and earnings. Really, assuming you aren't a gambling man wanting kids, where is the upside in marriage for men today? Not to mention, as demonstrated in this morning's links, having kids invites the meddling of the state via "child services" in your life and the state's circumvention of your constitutional liberties.

Women could start withholding their womanly pleasures except in good hope of marriage, which might alter the landscape. But then, the moderately successful man can always find a rental in the cash market should he find that an amenable interaction.

It is not my intention to promote anti-marriage but if you want more marriageable men, perhaps the question asked should be why men so so little reason to put effort into becoming a good marriage prospect.
#3 JKB on 2013-03-21 15:43 (Reply)
I see two worlds, two America's, two Europe's, etc. There are those in the one world who are as you describe it, that is they see no "up side" to marriage, think about the down side, etc. Then there is the world I live in where twq people fall in loive and get married with little thought to divorce, growing old together, the kids moving away etc. They have kids they enjoy their kids, their kids disappoint them as teens and maybe even as adults, they have grandkids and enjoy them, they probably get divorced and probably get remarried. They have blended families, some things are good and some things aren't so good. They live life and mostly enjoy it and during the entire time they never thought there was a "better" way. I would rather follow my heart and fall in love marry and have a family even if I inevitably will look back someday and regret this decision or that decision. And I say inevitably because no matter what path you choose there will be things you regret or would do different.
#3.1 GoneWithTheWind on 2013-03-21 21:21 (Reply)
But the complaint seems to be that more men are now doing the first when we'd hope to have more people following your second scenario. So the question is, how do you induce more men to achievements that will make them marriageable?

Colleges certainly aren't doing anything to make things amenable to men. But I'm of the opinion, if you need a degree, put your head down, do the work, hopefully in some economically useful field, then get the hell out. Find something interesting to do.

Get married if you are of a mind to but again the lament seems to be that many men aren't of the mind to get married. Or at least willing to meet the criteria of the women looking for a husband.
#3.1.1 JKB on 2013-03-21 22:02 (Reply)
I sense a jump to a conclusion here. Your statement "the lament seems to be that many men aren't of the mind to get married" could be "half" the problem. I go back to my original post: "free stuff". Women are having children outside of marriage because everyone knows the government gives you an apartment, food, furniture, spending money, babysitters/head start, tuition, medical care and on and on forever. But the trick is you must stay single. You can have a 100 boyfriends 50 kids, sell yourself on the streets but the "free stuff" ends if you get married.

So here is what I think has happened (and I apoligize in advance for the straight talk): The women by their actions are effectively taking themselves out of the market. They have three kids with three different fathers. Even if they are dating a guy they go out to clubs one or two nights a week with their girlfriends. They (again sorry to be blunt) get fat, do drugs, get up at 11:00 AM, etc. On the other side the men have a baby with someone and the government is all over them taking 50% of their income, they too go to the clubs one or two nights a week even if they are dating. They can't afford an apartment so they sleep on someone's couch or have three roommates. They too don't generally take care of themselves and wear clothes trying to look like punks. And here is the important part; if they want(ed) to get married their female peer groups is virtually unmarriable. So the long and the short of this is I don't think it's the men who are the problem. The women intentionally get pregnant by the age of 18, they intentionally do not stay with any man so they date a series of men and having children to increase their "free stuff". And they don't want to give up their "freedoms" for the men who will stoop to actually sleep with them.

Again I apologize if I seem to be blaming this to much on the women. But there are two important points (reasons why what I said is correct): Men almost never have sex with a date with the intent of having a child. When a woman/girl has a child the odds are she wanted to and the man was clueless of her plans. so while it takes two to make a baby one of them thoight the two of them were just having fun and the other one had another agenda. Secondly once she has a child and the "free stuff" her outlook has changed and she effectively takes herself out of the market.

In the second world I'm talking about none of them, usually, has received or sought welfare. In that world both the man and the woman choose to be more circumspect. There are children born before marriage but more often with the expectation of marriage.

Having said all this I am aware that the data is all over the place so no matter what I say our you say there is ample opportunity to refute it with examples galore. But in general I think I am reasonably correct and it is the woman who has traded marriage or the prospect of marriage for "free stuff" and a 60's lifestyle.
#3.1.1.1 GoneWithTheWind on 2013-03-21 23:26 (Reply)
As we say here, building a complex life with social pleasures, financial stability, family structure with continuity, traditions, and reliability, and the general comforts of life, is difficult without marriage and family.

It ain't been no picnic with marriage and a family, but I wouldn't go back and change a thing given the opportunity. (Married 58 years, family [kids] 57 years.)
#4 BillH on 2013-03-21 17:12 (Reply)
Derek Thompson not once mentions the major factor that makes this situation possible, namely, government welfare handouts that subsidize the birth of children by unmarried women. Thompson's readers were quick to point this out. For lower class unwed mothers, the government has now supplanted men as their main source of financial support. Having successfully painted the Republicans as the political party at war with women in the last presidential election, the Democrats have ingrained the idea of "government as husband" to build an electoral majority among women voters. In view of the anemic state of the US economy and the poor job prospects for such women, it is an alliance that's likely to last for some time to come.
#5 Agent Cooper on 2013-03-21 18:06 (Reply)
To perhaps verge on the simplistic--it's a lack of morals and responsibility. Sex is supposed to be consequence free and not a man and a woman choosing to be intimate and possibly create life, with all its joys and responsibilities. Men can shirk their responsibilities because the government will provide, and women can hope contraception works. At least they (the unmarried with children) weren't visiting Gosnell's "clinic" http://www.steynonline.com/3710/big-government-back-alley
#6 Mark on 2013-03-21 22:24 (Reply)
You only need look at government subsidies to farmers to understand the problem with subsidies to unwed mothers. The sugar production business is in total turmoil now and why? The government is involved thats why. Government screws up the supply and demand. Want less unwed motherhood? Quit paying for it...no more subsidies. Want even less unwed motherhood? Add a tax to unwed motherhood births. This isn't complicated...just do it.
#7 indyjonesouthere on 2013-03-22 09:33 (Reply)
#7--Yes and that is exactly why we had a financial collapse in this country, because the government heavily encouraged and subsidized imprudent lending and investing through the Community Reinvestment Act, Fannie and Freddie. The reason we cannot get out of this mess is that no one will admit that the government caused it in the first place. The government blames it on the bankers and financial industry but will not sue them, because they know the counter-claim will be they did what they did because it was mandated by government. (E.g., if you don't promise to make all these imprudent loans to minorities and poor people who can't afford them, we will not give approval for you to operate in new locations or open any new branches.)

At this point, with the machine collapsed, all the government can do is print more and more money and throw it into the broken system hoping it will revive itself at some point.
#7.1 Jim on 2013-03-22 15:04 (Reply)
And here is the parallel problem in the Christian community:

"The great man hunt: Young Christian women who want to get married say too few men are willing to cooperate"

http://www.worldmag.com/2013/03/the_great_man_hunt
#8 Jim on 2013-03-22 15:08 (Reply)
The problem is they have prejudiced the process. They don't want to fall in love they want to interview men and select the one who meets all the qualification that they and many others have predetermined are necessary. When I found myself on hiring committees the process began by eliminating as many from the running as possible. Didn't matter what your standards were you went through the stack and tried to eliminate 90% or more so that the process was easier. Who knows how many good prospects we threw out to get rid of the pile of competitors. That is what these women are doing, either they are ignorant of this mistake or they really don't want to find love. To sum up the problem in one word it is "me"! For these women everything is about "me". They make the mistake of thinking life is like the show The Bachelor. But the show is a carefully scripted fantasy designed to appeal to and affirm their view of "love". They are waiting for the rose. Thinking that princes are out scouring the city carrying a rose to pick them. They are after all princesses in waiting.
#8.1 GoneWithTheWind on 2013-03-23 10:02 (Reply)

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