Maggie's Farm

h/t, NE Repub:

“As good as this bar is,” said Angus, “I still prefer the pubs back home in Glasgow. There’s a fine place called the Smiling Bull of Lochanvar. The landlord goes out of his way to please… when you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.”

“Well, Angus,” said Brian, “at the Red Lion Pub in London, the barman will buy the third drink after you buy the first two.”

“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said Patrick, “at me pub in Limerick, the moment you set foot in the place they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve been fully served, they’ll take you upstairs and make sure you get laid, all on the house!”

Angus and Brian were suspicious of this claim. Patrick swore every word was true. “Did this actually happen to you?”

“Not meself, personally, no,” admitted Patrick, “but it did happen to me sister quite a few times.”