Maggie's Farm

We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.

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Monday, March 8. 2010

Euphemism Collection Day at Maggie's Farm!

 


Photo: Killer Whales killing Sea Lions just for the fun of it.


Euphemisms are about creating an illusion of a nursery school pretty pony and rainbow view of the world in which evil does not exist, in which we can all get along if only we wanted to, and in which we can all be anything we want, if only we would label things properly.


Rabid Jihadists and criminals become "the oppressed," kids who cannot read well become "learning disabled," klutzes become "hand-eye coordination impaired," the socially-awkward become "Asperger's," global warming becomes "climate change," housing developments in swamps become "Riverview Estates" - and Killer Whales become cuddly "Orcas" (so as not to offend their delicate sensibilities, no doubt).


Euphemisms are a form of propaganda (see The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook: Updated! New Entries!) designed to kill reality.


"Imagine," indeed.


Please post your favorite euphemistic reality-killers in the comments.

Posted by The Barrister in Our Essays, The Culture, "Culture," Pop Culture and Recreation at 12:07 | Comments (34) | Trackbacks (0)

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Gentlemen's Club. (heh)
#1 Bomber Girl on 2010-03-08 12:24 (Reply)
"Love" for "Lust"
#2 Bird Dog on 2010-03-08 12:26 (Reply)
Can't we have a caption contest? I'll go first:

"You guys wait here and I'll go see what he wants."
#3 Knucklehead (Link) on 2010-03-08 12:34 (Reply)
That is amusing.
#3.1 bd on 2010-03-08 15:04 (Reply)
Amusing? That may be the funniest thing I'll read all week! Kudos to Knucklehead.
#3.1.1 Michael Kesti on 2010-03-08 19:04 (Reply)
Sex Addiction for Dirty Old Man
#4 Bird Dog on 2010-03-08 12:46 (Reply)
"Euphemism" makes a pretty good euphemism on its own. "I need to visit the euphemism."
#5 diane on 2010-03-08 12:48 (Reply)
1) "has a strong personality" for "is an a-hole"

2) "diversity" for "quotas", however applied

3) "revenue sources" for "taxes"
#6 D on 2010-03-08 12:49 (Reply)
Recyling for Garbage
#7 theb on 2010-03-08 12:54 (Reply)
"Progressive" for "Liberal"

Okay, and if we're going to go Bird Dog's route ......

"Amorous" for "horny"
#8 D on 2010-03-08 12:54 (Reply)
"Complex" for "bad" or "stupid" (as in movie plots, song lyrics, novels, etc) See also "controversial" and "subtle"

"Quality journalism" for "typical state-run-media crap"
#9 D on 2010-03-08 13:04 (Reply)
here are 2 to chew on:

"Constitutional Rights"
ah excuse me but if we understand our nation's Founding Documents correctly, the Constitution confers no rights on anyone.

and;
"Civil Rights"
these are not "rights" at all but mere privileges granted by the ruling civil authority.....and if the civil authority can grant "rights" they can surely take them away.

I want my inalienable rights as granted by my Creator and proscribed by the Constitution to be respected, not violated by those elected to be stewards of government. I wont hold my breath.
#10 Kevin on 2010-03-08 13:59 (Reply)
Good. But the one about Asperger's is a cheap shot. To anyone without personal acquaintance with it, Asperger's may be an apparently trendy diagnosis for obnoxious techy guys in the public eye, but the reality is no picnic. For the person or their family. Don't mean to sound like a pc jerk, but just substitute Down's Syndrome and slow and you'd have other irate moms protesting.
#11 Retriever on 2010-03-08 14:04 (Reply)
Bad analogy. Down Syndrome is a medically certifiable chromosomal abnormality with distinct, physicaland mental symptoms.
#11.1 D on 2010-03-08 14:39 (Reply)
"Husky" for fat.
"Big boned" for "Husky"
"Vertically challenged" for short.
"Otherly abled" for retard.
"Golden years" for old as dirt.
"Alcohol intolerant" for drunk.
"Homeless" for bum.
"Pan handler" for begger/bum/drunk.
"Forthright child" for impudent little swine.
"Gay" for queer. Isn't that sad?
"Wait person" for server.
"Erotica" for porn.
"Really nice personality" for ugly as sin.
"It is well known" for "I think/believe/guess".
"Consensus" for a few.
"Fib" for lie.
#12 Sven Svenson on 2010-03-08 14:08 (Reply)
"Intellectuals" for unionized school employees
#13 Kondratieff on 2010-03-08 14:31 (Reply)
"Government" for "bureaucracy"
#14 D on 2010-03-08 14:52 (Reply)
"Freedom Fighter" for terrorist

"Palestinian People" for children of migrants from Egypt, Iraq, and Lebanon.
#15 Ben-David on 2010-03-08 15:01 (Reply)
"anti-Semite" for anyone who disagrees with Israeli policy.
#16 Kevin on 2010-03-08 15:05 (Reply)
What's the problem with "Orca"? It's the species name - Orcinus orca.

And they're not called "killer whales" because they're mindless kill-bots. Quite the opposite. I don't think there's ever been a verified case of an Orca attacking a human, outside of the poor psychos in the tanks at Seaworld and other places. And you'd probably be a little nuts after spending years in a 3x5 cage, for comparison take a look at the chimps in bio labs, rocking away their colorless lives.

Yes, they kill. So do all predators. So what?
#17 mojo on 2010-03-08 15:06 (Reply)
Of course it's their scientific name. But Killer is more vivid, more exciting - and gives you the clue not to swim with them.
#17.1 the b on 2010-03-08 15:37 (Reply)
Oh for pete's sake. If you want to be technical, Killer Whales aren't whales - they are dolphins. In fact, recent research has discovered that there are three types of Killer Dolphins, A, B and C and they are not only physically different, but behave differently being Transient, Resident and Offshore.

Oh and the correct classical name for them is Blackfish.

There - I feel much better now. :>)
#17.2 Tom Francis on 2010-03-08 15:56 (Reply)
"Relaxed" or "unlined" for "Botoxed"
#18 D on 2010-03-08 15:45 (Reply)
I'd love to join in, but I'm Euphemistically Challenged.
#19 Tom Francis on 2010-03-08 15:48 (Reply)
"Blackfish" for "Killer Whale"
#20 D on 2010-03-08 16:08 (Reply)
Melanin Challenged for Honky. Differently complected for asshats in the 'hood.
#21 Vermont Woodchuck (Link) on 2010-03-08 16:10 (Reply)
"undecided" for 'stupid prima donna'
#22 buddy larsen on 2010-03-08 16:48 (Reply)
"shit list" = "defecation tabulation"
Look for this one soon in the media. "It's my own invention . . ." - (the White Knight)
#23 claritas on 2010-03-08 17:05 (Reply)
mature for old, particularly for women

full-bodied for fat, again for women
#24 feeblemind on 2010-03-08 23:17 (Reply)
Calling government schools "public schools," when in fact there is no public participation and the schools are run by and for the benefit of the teachers' union.

Calling bureaucrats "public servants."

Calling union voters "working families."

Calling socialist programs, politicians and ideologies "progressive." They used to call them "liberal," but then the public figured out the "L" word meant socialist, and so they had to come up with a new word.

Calling the leftist press the "mainstream media."

Calling the creation of more government regulation and red tape "reform."

Calling union and environmental activists "grass roots community organizations," while calling business and property organizations "special interests."

Calling leftist special interests "concerned citizens."

Calling illegal aliens "undocumented workers."

Calling scripted and controlled political events "town halls."
#25 Jim on 2010-03-09 02:27 (Reply)
"Sustainable Agriculture" which is actually unsustainable if anyone other than the pretentious twats preening themselves over their superiority is to be fed.
#26 oceanguy (Link) on 2010-03-09 09:27 (Reply)
Uhh... no.
A lot of sustainable/organic practices are being scaled up with great success. Many are being combined with microprocessors and other technologies that allow micro-level monitoring.

They also make economic sense by reducing operating costs and diversifying products.

This puts many mid-size farmers in a more stable economic situation than modern "bet the farm on one big crop" approaches.
#26.1 Ben-David on 2010-03-09 15:16 (Reply)
I'm with Ben-David on this one. I'm sure there are twits out there who are pushing silly ideas in the name of sustainability, but there's nothing impractical about agricultural methods that don't exhaust the soil or poison the water.
#26.1.1 Texan99 on 2010-03-10 17:20 (Reply)
"Orca" is a bad choice for this. It's short for "Orcinus Orca", which means "Death, the bringer of Destruction" (loose translation). It's just the Latin name for the guy with the robe and the scythe and the pale horse. So it's not a euphamism so much as a translation.
#27 AnonMuse on 2010-03-09 23:48 (Reply)

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