We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
- A fellow goes to a restaurant and asks the waiter for a cup of coffee without cream. A few moments later the waiter returns and says, “Sorry, we’re all out of cream, it will have be without milk.”
- An out of work geophysicist goes into a McDonald’s to ask for a job. He fills out an application and as the manager reads it he says, “I know I'm overqualified but I can do the work and I need the job”. The manager answers back “It’s not that, it’s just that most of our geophysicists have PhDs.”
I was cooking in Yellowstone Park and I got an order for whipped chocolate moose. It took me an hour to get the moose in the kithchen. I dropped a carrot and he ate it, I dropped another and he ate that one. Let me tell you, when you're trying to get the antlers in the kitchen door, that carrot has to be in the right place.
It took all the Hershey's we had to cover the moose but the trouble really started when I ran the blender up his back because he was aimed toward the dining room.
Well, I scrubbed the hoofprints off the tables and I patched the antler holes in the ceiling and then they fired me. Know why?