We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Yeah, think about what that society is like after everyone is paired up, and everyone knows what everyone else's choices were - in black-and-white, not suspected. It's not a good place to all be going to PTA meetings together a few years later.
Assistant Village Idiot
Yes, but isn't that what it was back in the day when we all lived in villages, and everyone knew everyone for their whole lives?
I guess I always approached it more or less this way. It was never a question of finding the Ideal Mate, but of two of us finding each other at least worth trying, and then finding out whether we could make it work long-term. You get past the hurdle first of "Is this people even possible?" After that, it's a question of getting to know each other better and building up trust. I guess that means I'd have done OK in an arranged-marriage culture, as long as I had enough vetoes and the pool was big enough. Anyway, I've been married 35 years.
If you have to think about it you are doing it wrong. Fall in love first, then is he/she will have you get married. Do not marry because you are searching for the best candidate. If you are in love what else is there (yes I know)? If you are not in love what are you thinking about marriage for? Will it all turn out perfect and last forever? Probably not but the odds favor the couple in love. Or maybe a better way to put it is that if you marry before love you will forever regret it even if you can make your marriage last 50 years or so.
I have been married for 50 years! 20 with my first wife and 30 with my current wife.