We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Our Recent Essays Behind the Front Page
Monday, July 5. 2010
Here are some suggestions on how to put this special little day to good use:
Establish Yourself Online — Quit screwing around and go get yourself a domain name before they all run out. This is the voice of experience speaking. Five years ago, my first-name-last-name.com (without the hyphens) was available, but I didn't grab it. Then, my first-name-middle-initial-last-name.com was available, but I didn't grab it. Today, even my first-name-middle-name-last-name.com is gone. And, just between you and me, I really don't want a ".biz" or ".xxx" address.
Home Repair — Maybe you've been thinking of tackling a repair around the house but you're not sure if you're getting in over your head? Here's an 'overview guide' that should get you headed in the right direction. También en Español, Deutsch, et Français.
Computer Overhaul — Is this it? Is this the dreaded day when you finally grip the bull by the horns and terrifyingly slog your way through the mean, cruel guide in order to get your computer acting all perky and spunky again? At very least, do the 'Simple' setup guide. At very cruelest, do the 'Serious' guide.
Vista Users — This goes double for you guys. All of that Vista "bloatware" that your friends mock and deride you for behind your back can be safely and easily eliminated. I ran Vista for a while and it was as quick and snappy as an operating system can be.
VideoStudio — If you ever wanted to dangle a toe in the moiling, boiling, roiling waters of video, this is the way to do it. It takes a brand new approach. Rather than teach one a whole bunch of little things in anticipation of running the big program, I have you learn the big program first and only learn the nitty-gritty stuff as the need arises, which depends upon the odd video formats drifting in over time. The big dif is, I arm you with a plethora of specialized tools so you can handle whatever the 'Net throws at you. There's no "figuring it out" at the time.
Don't let this day slip away!
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These are superb recommendations, especially the warning to get and hold your own domain name.
As one who gets more than his fair share of the "Uh, hey Mike, my computer is screwing up again." phone calls, I cannot help but plead with you to learn your computers, keep them clean and follow recommendations such as "Dr. Mercury" has posted. You will be glad you did and I'll get fewer of "those" phone calls.
One final note: The fact that "Dr. Mercury" and I do the same work, have lived in pretty much the same places at the same time, and have likely tripped over each other in the past, doesn't bias my opinion. Smart is smart no matter where it comes from and I assure you, "Dr. Mercury" is smart.
Always hatin' on the Mac users. Where are my tools for snapping up my Mac?
Thanks for the kind endorsement, Mike. Just the other day I was over at a friend's house when a neighbor dropped by. He was complaining that his computer had slowed down so much that he figured it was time to buy a new one.
And, you guessed it, I went next door, unchecked almost every item (out of about 50) in MSConfig, and I'll be double-dipped if that ol' girl didn't act as spunky as the day she was born.
Was told by two people I was a "genius".
Saved a pretty penny, too.
You just cringe when you think of how many people every year give up on their tired old rigs because of nothing more than a panel in MSConfig that wasn't maintained. If they at least do the 'Simple' guide, they'll crack open the biggest nut.
Thanks again for the nice thoughts.
"Always hatin' on the Mac users"
No, no, no, dear lady. I wouldn't use the word "hatin'".
I prefer neglected. It has a more purposeful yet unfeeling and uncaring ring to it, don't you think? In the Great Mac-PC Battle, nuance counts.
Now, as to your plaintive plea:
"Where are my tools for snapping up my Mac?"
I have some very, very good news for you. The above request is actually "impossible". As a Mac, it's already 'snapped-up' and no further adjustments are necessary. It's only those creaky old PC's that need constant attention.
How fortunate for you. :)
I knew that, of course. My Mac is perfect just as it is; I just wanted to make you admit it. And to make you quit hatin' on my Mac.
Tex - Although I never said anything bad about "Mac", just Apple, I still feel riddled with guilt over the distress I've caused you. With this in mind, I have just written a special post honoring Apple in order to make up for my grievous sin. It'll probably be posted Sunday.
Heh heh heh. :)
Just in time to forestall my lawsuit over the heartless PC-normative hegemony you've enabled. You've been marginalizing Mac users as "other." And don't think you can get away with that code language about "Apple." We all know what you really mean.
"Just in time to forestall my lawsuit"
Exactly. People simply don't give the Maggie's legal department near enough credit. We squeak out of trouble all of the time!
"over the heartless PC-normative hegemony"
I prefer the term "oligarchy", but hegemony is fine.
"You've been marginalizing Mac users as "other."
But at least recognizing them! You seem to give me no credit at all!
I'm sure after my Sunday post that a contite and behumbled you will come crawling back on bent knee begging forgiveness for the heartless and cruel things you have said here today.
"Let's talk reparations, and we'll see."
This conversation would be a lot more fun if you weren't married. :)
If it were me, I'd be worried why I had to wait until Sunday to atone for my grievous sin. There can only be a handful of reasons.
None of them good.
As far as that goes, it probably would help if I were considerably younger and thinner as well!
I'll include you in my prayers, asking God to make you a better person. :-)
"and thinner as well!"
Well, it's not your fault, my dear. You know that ol' "Do these jeans make me look fat?" routine? Well, in your case, it's your state that makes you look fat. People just naturally look broader in fat states, like the way Floridians and Californians naturally look taller and sleeker because of their tall, thin states. It's like wearing vertical stripes versus horizontal stripes. Somebody stuffed you in a state wearing horizontal stripes and you've looked 20 pounds overweight ever since.
But why Sunday?
. . . why are you going to wait until Sunday to atone for your Mac-bashing? Only you can say. I will continue to pray that you find clarity and self-knowledge.
I'm afraid it's not my residence in the state of Texas that makes me look fat but the fact that I am, objectively, fat. And it's not a question of the traditional "20 lbs" either, more's the pity. But I do know it's not my fault. It's stress. Stress caused by decades of . . . oh, you know. I was planning to add it to the damages.
My best friend in my 20's married a rather large woman. He, himself, was tall and skinny as a rail. His nickname was "Ol' Lean 'n' Lanky". I asked him why he had married such a large woman. He replied, "There's more to love."
I guess that wraps up the weight discussion.
I have to wait until Sunday because Sunday is when we post, well, those types of posts. This being a rather delicate matter (one of the premiere bloggers of his day unabashedly prostrating himself before the angry mob), certain precautions must be taken.
You'll understand on Sunday.
When you realize it's one of those posts.
"Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mudflaps, my baby's got 'em"
You'll understand on Weekends.
Enjoyed reading those beautiful comments.