Is foreplay overrated?

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Tuesday, November 11. 2008

I can't imagine why our Editor sent me the link to this topic: Researchers claim foreplay overrated.�Sexist, no doubt, because the source clearly has little sensitivity to a lady's need to become, um, interested, when we might be contentedly�preparing to teach a class on Freud, or perusing House Beautiful or a gardening catalog.

Unless you happen to be Sean Connery, I advise guys to take the time to�apply some of those�age-old seduction skills instead of acting like a wild animal. Yes, women enjoy being sex objects just as guys do, but�a wholesome, red-blooded lady will make it well-worth the effort if you go the extra mile.

And yes, I do know that guys like to be seduced too. Love it, in fact (but they hate to admit it). Licking them�on the ear works well, for some reason,�and repeating "My big strong handsome man" while unbuttoning his shirt.

Editor's note: I couldn't resist adding that photo from The 6 Biggest Assholes in the Animal Kingdom. I have no doubt that she is "lying back and�thinking of England" because he does not appear to be a particularly�sensitive male.

Posted by Dr. Joy Bliss in Our Essays, Psychology, and Dr. Bliss at 11:38 | Comments (25) | Trackbacks (0)

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A post about foreplay illustrated with animal porn. hahahaha. You go, BD. I know you laughed.

Some men really are life support systems for their peckers. If those men knew how much their beloved hates hearing, "Look who wants you, honey!" as you point to Mr. Wiggly, you'd stop.

As soul maestro, Otis Redding, sings, "Try a Little Tenderness", try some. That or throw her down in the kitchen for a quickie. That's good stuff, too, as long as you act as if passion overwhelmed your senses and you can't help yourself.
`

#1 Meta on 2008-11-11 12:52 (Reply)

BD ... No, foreplay is NOT over-rated. It's necessary, if your partner is to be happy and if you are going to have good dinners instead of burned ones. Lions, by the way, as you probably know already, have an all-you-can-eat-buffet of females to choose from. They call them "prides" and boy are they proud of them. Naturalists say they spend most of their time pretty tired, because they spend that time doing what comes naturally and then doing it again and again with the next female. The ladies do most of the hunting for the "pride" and the Big Kahuna. So that female under the lion is probably just exhausted from all that work. Just like human women. But since they can't speak, and the lion, like most men, has selective marital deafness, the lady can't convey her fatigue. And the Lion doesn't care. He knows he's got it made.

Marianne

#2 Marianne Matthews on 2008-11-11 17:01 (Reply)

I'm a married man. None of this has any relevance to me.

#3 Assistant Village Idiot (Link) on 2008-11-11 17:09 (Reply)

AVI,

Married men don't have to engage in foreplay? What?

:}

`

#3.1 Meta on 2008-11-11 17:18 (Reply)

Girl. You go..... "...selective marital deafness..." Yeah, just like his little buddy and hang-around pal. Some guys have personal blindness, too. They're the big fat guys at the bar checking out the beauties and actually thinking one of them will go home with him if he's suave enough. What is going on in their minds?!
`

#4 Meta on 2008-11-11 17:16 (Reply)

When I was younger, my crazy, wacky, wife would attack me, all the time and demand sex. This went on for years. My first line of defense was to develop a headache. It worked for a while, and gave me some rest. Now that I'm older . We have hall sex. When she bumps into me in the hall she says F- you, and I reply right back to her No F- you. I kinda like hall sex : )

#5 jappy on 2008-11-11 17:27 (Reply)

Hmmm, we thought we were having aural sex all these years...

#5.1 Pajak on 2008-11-11 17:31 (Reply)

Ain't marriage grand? I had a girlfriend like you're describing years ago. She was crazy. I miss her.

#5.2 Jephnol (Link) on 2008-11-11 17:53 (Reply)

It's all in the punctuation...

I tell her: No, more sex we're married.

She says: No more sex, we're married.

Foreplay? Four hours of begging...

#6 EarlWer on 2008-11-11 17:47 (Reply)

Honey, I just want to hear about your day and, you know, snuggle on the couch. I'm sorry, I know I promised I wouldn't cry. It's just, when you hold me like this I feel so...vulnerable.

Oh my God! Ahahahahaha. That's awesome.

Guys spent years being beaten to death with Alan Alda and suddenly women jump up and say, "Hey, just f*ck me already!" A whole generation of men are standing around with their dicks in the hands, pleading with their women for a hug and now the girls are telling them to man up.

Well, you can love your woman tenderly. You can give her roses and tell her she's pretty. But if you don't drop what's in your hand, clear the kitchen table with a stroke of your arm and take her right there once in a while you're not really loving her right.

#7 Jephnol (Link) on 2008-11-11 17:50 (Reply)

AAAHHHHHHHHHHH. Jephnol.... what's that crap in your first sentence. ew. ew.

I concur with your last sentence. Women swoon over that. Even if they get leftover dinner in their hair. :}
`

#7.1 Meta on 2008-11-11 20:27 (Reply)

Heh. That's my point exactly. That's the Alan Alda crap that's been pumped into the psych of the American male since the 60's.

All I have to say to the fools who churn out that butter is get out the way, get out the way fool.

#7.1.1 Jephnol (Link) on 2008-11-11 21:36 (Reply)

Jephnol -- you savage, you. And jappy ... she attacked you all the time, did she? I'm certainly getting some insights here into modern male/female relationships. Ahhh, it takes me back -- IIRC. Well, go to it, my dears in whatever way that works. It's what makes the world go round, after all. "What the world needs now, is love, sweet loove..." Especially now, when we all need some comfort before the coming storm.

Marianne

#8 Marianne Matthews on 2008-11-11 18:16 (Reply)

"whatever way that works"

Exactly.

#8.1 Jephnol (Link) on 2008-11-11 18:33 (Reply)

I always thought the purpose of good prolonged foreplay was to get the woman to beg for it. To want it so bad she agrees to let you buy that new rifle you've had your eye on for so long.

#9 Luther McLeod on 2008-11-11 21:09 (Reply)

Beg for it? Luther! You surprise me.

Here's a question: Have you ever been with a woman you just started dating but haven't boinked yet... like at dinner in a nice restaurant, and you both get turned on and can't wait for dinner to be over with....and no dessert, thank you.....and you get to your car and start to kiss.... and then ... OW! it happens. You do it in the car! That ever happen to you?
`

#9.1 Meta on 2008-11-11 21:49 (Reply)

Yes... ?

#9.1.1 Luther McLeod on 2008-11-11 22:18 (Reply)

Did you shoot your gun?
`

#10 Meta on 2008-11-11 22:41 (Reply)

Why yes... I didn't have my rifle... yet.

This is my rifle
This is my gun
This ones for fighting
This ones for fun

I do try to not get them confused.

#10.1 Luther McLeod on 2008-11-11 22:55 (Reply)

Which one has the hair trigger?
`

#11 Meta on 2008-11-11 23:06 (Reply)

Depends... but usually the one with the greater need.

#11.1 Luther McLeod on 2008-11-11 23:29 (Reply)

Well, I am little bit late to this party, but here is my humble contribution.

A really good, young pup in the office was about to get married. He was enthusiastic and could not wait for the day for it all to become "right" after the wedding ceremony.

I asked him what he was looking forward to the most. He predictably said sex. I, of course, laughed, provoking the follow-up question.

He queried about what I thought was the most important thing in a marriage. I told him that most fights were about money, sex and kids. I asked him what he thought was most important. He said - surprise - sex!

He asked me my opinion. I told him money. He looked at me quizzically and asked why. I told him, after kids there is no sex and all that is left is money!

To this day, I am not sure he got the joke or the message buried in the story.

#12 Barrett on 2008-11-11 23:46 (Reply)

Am I the only one who looks at Angelina Jolie the same way a lion does? (not that I would actually start mauling kids)

#13 NJSoldier on 2008-11-12 09:13 (Reply)

and clearly this proves that Magggie's farm is not a political blog since the comments always heat up in the "other" categories. just gotta love that this election is finally over and people are beginning to have important conversations like this again. Isn't life grand?

#14 opie109 on 2008-11-12 11:23 (Reply)

PLEASE ADD http to this ://keeskennis.blogspot.com/2008/07/spoilsport.html

#15 keeskennis (Link) on 2008-11-17 09:56 (Reply)

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Tuesday, November 11. 2008

Is foreplay overrated?