Maggie's Farm

This beautiful psalm has always been a great comfort to me ( especially in the midst of a family crisis right now that I will not burden y'all with). I can relate. Reflecting again on a line from Yeats that I tediously repeat to a long suffering friend and confidante about how "too much sacrifice can make a stone of the heart." God, does not want to break us, does not want hardened, cold hearts but living, warm, loving ones. And so I try to tell myself as I read this that He will be merciful, that he will not forever leave us in our dungeons (whether there by our own or others' actions).

BUT, perhaps not the example I really need. The friend or professional who says what we can understand, relate to, the consultant who tells us what we want to hear, is not always right...

What makes me think this is that I finally watched "300" with my kid and her friend yesterday. I love kids, have worked with them all my life, and dote on my own BUT: a more mollycoddled, self-centered, softer generation I have never seen! Of course all old fogies have been saying that since time began....My own father used to sigh in exasperation, whenever I disagreed with him: "we should have exposed you on a hillside at birth...the SPartans had the right idea!"

Anyway, yesterday afternoon, watching this film about the Spartans, all of us classics scholars so snarling at historical inaccuracies in the movie, but also much discussion of sacrifice. Waste? Or an inspiration? Pointless posturing, and squandering the life God entrusted one with? Remember those BIblical lines about better a living dog than a dead lion (sic?).

I have studied Wilfrid Owen line by line with these girls, and reminded them that the poet who wrote "Dulce et Decorum Est" was no cowardly PC academic, but a patriotic Brit officer who volunteered for the front, fought bravely, and cared about his soldiers, who did not abandon his post. Almost certainly gay, but put God, country, duty ahead of his own right to live and love whomever he chose. That the personal must be set aside sometimes. That soldiers hate war, but face their fear, serve anyway.

I have always preferred the Greek heroes to the Israelite ones. Probably just because I learned about them first? I was raised by classics scholars, who had little use for the Old Testament. The Philistines got a bad rap! And so I have never been a great fan of David. Great poet, fascinating character, and obviously a sinner so we sinners can relate to him. BUT I don't like tricksters, adulterers like him. Yes, yes, it is supposed to give us miserable sinners hope that if God could love an SOB like him, he might love us...

I am an equal opportunity squeamish female: I didn't like Odyssesus much either. I'm on a Leonidas kick right now. Studying most of the male Old Testament heroes or the craftier Greeks doesn't help me do the right thing in my own life. The Spartans appeal more because they are braver, more decisive, because they expected more of their women, and were less degenerate.

Usually, I look to ordinary brave and faithful American men and women nowadays for inspiration. American Marines fighting better than anybody else on God's earth, then being kind to children and their defeated enemies, feeding stray cats and dogs in Bagdad. Devoted Sunday school teachers. Patient doctors. Honest local businessmen giving jobs to released prisoners to give them a fresh start in life. Not a day goes by that I am not awed by my fellow countrymen (and revolted by the weaselly politicians who presume to try and "lead" them).

But for today I need a real hero, not a messy Old Testament one. Stupid CGI movies notwithstanding, Leonidas is my hero. No broken and contrite heart stuff for him. Some macho hero (where?) exclaimed that "moods are for women and lovers!" David and many of us tend to brood and drown in our feelings too much. Closer to home, heartless but sensible people I know say "Feelings aren't facts." A feeling never won a war or built a bridge or fed a child.

What I need and what many in our country need more than the mewling and pewling of David's Psalms right now is a little more of the spirit of Sparta. Leonidas. He's the man!