We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
"How To" books and sites are great fun to read, even if you never actuallydo the thing. I have been perusing Home Depot's Home Improvement 1-2-3 with great enjoyment and edification. Since I do not ever plan to retire, I don't know when I will find the time to try most of these things, but it's fun to know how they are done.
And speaking of "How-To" books, one would have to place the Kama Sutra on top, as it were. It was written by the Hindu sage Vatsyayana between the 2nd and 4th centuries, for prosperous male urbanites, not for the masses. It was meant for spiritual connoisseurs, you might say.
RE: Expert advice from Home Depot..
This came in the mail today....
Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don' t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they
wouldn' t be able to find the # &%! * light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to
change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER
WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!
That's a good one, Patina. Am not menopausal yet, but have been known to say the wrong things or go off the handle from time to time. Pretty dumb of me, and certainly not nice. Only mention this because I'm pretty sure I acted a bit offensively to Buddy here a while back, not aware of some of my stupidity, but I did knowingly say rude, impolitic and unjustified things on occasion, and he's the last man on earth to deserve such treatment.
Am very sorry for that, Buddy-- I just didn't know how wrong I was being. Have always admired you and your friends for your politics and expression.
Re home improvement- most don't need it, better to spend one's precious time and limted funds on learning, producing and trying to be a positive in this reality. Domicile as a fancy structure is like the heart as a sweater over it. Just my two cents.
I would specify all of the wrong things I said and did, but am not completely sure. Still, I KNOW I mentioned some things I should not have, no matter as a reaction to things said by others, and I certainly shouldn't have tried competing with another woman, someone's very special lady. Haven't been in shape for a while, getting there now, but also she had his heart and it was wrong on my part to throw myself into the mix. And on occasion I was rude to her, mostly in reaction, but still, no excuse. Sorry to the two of you.
Then I mentioned family money on the wrong hunch, when I should have been honest and told the rest of the story- most of it was lost by injudicious investing, etc. Can't think of what else, but my politics and personal philosophy are fairly consistent-- perhaps they should be more expansive and I could learn a broader perspective from the thinkers here.
At any rate (preferably a 20% return), we all make mistakes and aren't always what and who we seem. But I feel particularly bad if some feel as if I misrepresented myself or for having insulted people, especially the enlightened types at MF. No BS- y'all pretty interesting, you know.
Oh, mercy--some blunders i and nearly everyone i know have pulled--don't let it get ya down. As they say, it ain't the getting knocked down that's important, it's the getting back up that really counts. Corny but so true.
Funniest, best-written how-to book ever, also on a topic I have no illusions of mastering or even applying myself to with any diligence: Miss Manners' 1983 Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. Judith Martin's simply one of the better writers working today in any genre.
So you know the proper way to eat a potato chip, as she writes in answer to the question -- with a knife and fork, "an oyster knife and a pickle fork. For pity's sake, what is the world coming to? Miss Manners doesn't mind explaining the finer points of etiquette but figures anybody who doesn't have the sense to pick a potato chip out of a bag and stuff it in his mouth probably shouldn't be running around loose on the streets."
And I love the how to eat watermelon one, divided into "Formal -- fleck seeds out with a knife" down to "Highly informal -- Put face in watermelon and see how far you can spit the seeds."