Maggie's Farm

Greetings, all.

Yes, sad to say, it's that pesky ol' Doc Murky again. What a pain! Always quibbling about this or that -- why can't he just leave well enough alone?!

Bad luck on the bloggers' part, would be a good guess. :)

Okay, on with the show. From a few days ago:

"A splendid rant...by Yankeeland's unsophisticated, barely-literate, unshaven and un-showered, Maple Syrup-sipping, pajama-clad, knuckle-dragging, Baked Bean-eating-"

You forgot "stubborn".

A Google search for "stubborn yankee" yields 440,000 hits, including a book by that name. And, having lived Down East for three years (Bellows Falls and Keene), I think it's fair to say that "stubborn" is part of the Yankee makeup.

And that's to its credit, I might add. Given the extremes, it's far better to be stubborn than wishy-washy.

"But Doc, wait! Do you have any PROOF that the arch-neocon radical warmongering death cultists who run Maggie's Farm are stubborn??"

Why, by happy coincidence, I do. :)

Moslem medical students want special rules

First, I tried using Google to make the argument:

"Moslem" = 3,710,000
"Muslim" = 48,100,000

As if THAT was going to convince a bunch of stubborn Yankees.

Next, I spent about an hour doing research and listed out quotes spelling it "Muslim" from about fifteen newspapers, from the international, to the national, to the New England city papers, and all the way down to some tiny local paper.

As if THAT was going to convince a bunch of stubborn Yankees.

But now I believe I have the ultimate ammunition. The one source that no one denies. The one source that everyone longs to become a part of. The definitive work whose words may never be questioned:

[Please paste the following link into your browser, check out the pic, then hit the 'Back' button to come back here. Guys, we REALLY need software that'll allow us to embed links! This cut-and-paste crap sucks!]

http://www.valcondria.com/moslem.jpg

The definitive source of all definitive sources: The New York Times Crossword Puzzle.

There I was in my innocence last night, hacking away at some tough Sunday brainbuster, and suddenly there it was.

"Var.", of course, stands for VARIATION.

Of course, it could have been worse. It could have looked like this:

36. Mosque-goer (Arch.)

That's short for "archaic".

So, at least for the moment, you're still speaking Variation English, not outright Archaic English.

For the moment. :)


Now, I know what you guys and gals at home are thinking. You're thinking, "Doc, you've convinced us! If everyone in the gol'dang galaxy is using 'Muslim', up to and including their home town papers, the guys here have GOT to get on board lest they be the subjects of ridicule and mockery!"

And I couldn't have put it better myself.

But wait, good friends. While, yes, stubborness is part of the Yankee character, and while, yes, the gang here are also now convinced of the error of their ways, there is a part of the Yankee makeup that is even stronger than mere stubborness.

And that's the pride they feel at being a Yankee.

Because nowhere else, good friends, is this pride merited. The Left Coasters are living in the Now, the Midwesterners seem stuck in some kind of Late 20th Century time machine, the Easterners live in a crass, materialistic world, and the South?

Well, after living in the heart of rural Florida for two years (I'm now in the Keys), I'd say that Southern memories don't extend beyond the War of Northern Aggression (also called "The Civil War" in some history books).

When I was living in New Hampshire, I lived in a house built in 1796. That's what was carved on the original wooden foundation pillars.

That's why the pride is justified.

Because nowhere else in America can you look around you and see a history that goes all the way back to our nation's roots. They have a living lineage that the rest of us can barely comprehend.

And that pride will force them to maintain that fun stereotype of the stubborn, unsophisticated, barely-literate, unshaven and un-showered, Maple Syrup-sipping, pajama-clad, knuckle-dragging, Baked Bean-eating Yankee.

Or they might change just to spite me. :)

Pressure's on, boys. You face off against Google and every newspaper in the country, that's one thing.

You face off against the New York Times Crossword Puzzle, that's serious business. :)

_______________________________________

As long as I'm here, allow me to toss out a few links:

Any M*A*S*H fans around? Were you aware that the movie and TV series was a hooded metaphor for the Vietnam War? Well, maybe.

http://www.valcondria.com/text/pudding.htm

Doc probes the mystery behind JFK, Jr's plane crash:

http://www.valcondria.com/text/jfk.htm

Do you kind of like Scrabble, or kind of like dominoes?

Well, the reason it's "kind of" is because of the way you're playing it. Check this out:

http://www.valcondria.com/text/games.htm

And, as long as I'm slicing and dicing the poor innocent bloggers here, allow me to point out how commendable their actions are in regards to not jumping on some candidate's bandwagon (yet). The bloggers who have are doing a terrible damage to the conservatives in the long run, and might even cost them the election. I'm sure some of the writers here have already picked a favorite, but they're not letting it show, and for this we should be thankful.

And thanks, guys. Here's how I see it unfolding on sites such as Hugh Hewitt's, and it's not pretty:

http://www.valcondria.com/text/tone.htm

And my latest frivolity. Be sure to read the link on the page first:

http://www.valcondria.com/media2226/gift2/gift2.htm

Nice chattin' with y'all!