Maggie's Farm

We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.

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Friday, April 27. 2007

All-purpose credit card

This just isn't fair. I have skin color, but it's sort-of a blotchy pale unhealthy-looking thing with freckles and pimples and stuff. Not my fault. Too bad the photo-shopper couldn't spell "defusing."

This is not by our Roger, but it is Roger-quality:

  

Posted by Bird Dog in Politics at 18:05 | Comments (21) | Trackbacks (0)

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Yeah. Not Roger. Roger would have spelled "defusing" correctly.
#1 roger de hauteville on 2007-04-27 18:35 (Reply)
I am not clear on why we need this kind of stuff on our side.
#2 Laurence F. Sheldon, Jr. on 2007-04-27 18:45 (Reply)
It is called silly humor. Nothing will keep us from that, including, at times, good taste....although we do try to maintain good taste.
#2.1 BD on 2007-04-27 18:53 (Reply)
Agreed, Roger de H.
#3 BD on 2007-04-27 18:45 (Reply)
BTW, we are not racist, Not in the least. We do not care what color anyone is, and are oblivious to it.

We do have contempt, however, for race pimps, and will exercise free speech about that scam whenever we feel like it.
#4 BD on 2007-04-27 18:58 (Reply)
racists:no
gun-totin' republicans/"don't tread on me" types :yes
and all in good fun cause as a member of the smarter sex and i do mean smarter and better lookin' i think MF readers can handle tongue and cheeky.
#5 mp on 2007-04-27 19:29 (Reply)
From Monty Python's "Life of Brian"

Mother: Oh.
Roman Officer: Good afternoon.
Mother: Oh, eh...hello, officer, ehrm...I'll be with you in a few moments, all right with you?
Brian: What's he doing here?
Mother: Ehm...ah, don't start that Brian, ehm...go and clean your room out.
Brian: The bloody Romans!
Mother: Now, look Brian! If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have all this. And don't you forget it.
Brian: We don't owe the Romans anything, mum.
Mother: Oh, that's not entirely true, is it, Brian?
Brian: What do you mean?
Mother: Well...you know when you were asking me about your...
Brian: My nose?
Mother: Yes, well...there's a reason it's like it is, Brian.
Brian: What is it?
Mother: Oh, well, I suppose I should have told you a long time ago, but...
Brian: What?
Mother: Well, Brian, your father isn't Mr. Cohen.
Brian: I never thought he was!
Mother: Now none of your cheek! He was a Roman, Brian. He was a centurion in the Roman army.
Brian: You mean...you were raped?!
Mother: Well...at first, yes.
Brian: Who was it?
Mother: Huh...Naughtius Maximus his name was. Hmm...promised me the known world, he did. I was to be taken to Rome,
house by the Forums, slaves, asses' milk, as much gold as I could eat. Then he, having his way with me he had; voom! Like a
rat out of an aqueduct.
Brian: He's a bastard!
Mother: Yes, and next time you go on about the "bloody Romans", don't forget you're one of them.
Brian: I'm not a Roman mum, and I never will be. I'm a kike, a jid, a heebe, a hooknose! I'm kosher, mum! I'm a red-sea
pedestrian and proud of it!
Brian closing door: [Bladonk]
Mother: Huh...sex, sex, sex, that's all they think about, eh? Hm. Well, how are you then, officer?
#6 tasteless brit lover on 2007-04-27 20:28 (Reply)
Funny I think, speaks for itself, no need for much self examination.
#7 Luther McLeod on 2007-04-28 00:27 (Reply)
Great scene in the movie Barbershop a few years back. Every body in this black barbershop is discussing racial politics and personalities and finally Jesse Jackson name comes up. They are arguing his merits when the old crusty barber played by Cedric the Entertainer says after a pregnant pause, " F--k Jesse Jackson."
I believe that the actors and producers of the movie had to have a meeting with the race hierarchy to splain themselves and kiss a-- and make some sort of redemptive statement. Great moments in cinema.
#8 sean on 2007-04-28 00:33 (Reply)
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of
nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to
see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two
spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"That type of spider is called a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he
replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted
her foot and stomped the spiders flat, saying "Well, we're not having any of that
brokeback mountain shit in OUR garden."
#9 buddy larsen on 2007-04-28 01:20 (Reply)
One of my fave comedies is the Coen Bros "Intolerable Cruelty" (about Hollywood divorce). Cedric the Entertainer has a support part that dang near steals the show. Rent it if ya wanna laff laff laff.
#10 buddy larsen on 2007-04-28 01:24 (Reply)
At three minutes and four seconds after 2 AM on the 6th of May this year, the time and date will be 02:03:04 05/06/07. This will never happen again.
#11 buddy larsen on 2007-04-28 02:38 (Reply)
Right now it is 7:12:06 4/28/07 and this will never happen again.
#12 BD on 2007-04-28 07:14 (Reply)
Haha BD. You can be so obtuse sometimes. By that I mean...

Not pointed or acute; blunt.
#12.1 Patina on 2007-04-28 10:08 (Reply)
Patina, don't laugh--it only encourages him--
#13 buddy larsen on 2007-04-28 10:18 (Reply)
Sorry Buddy. It is just that BD is so good at hitting the off note at exactly the right time. lol.
#13.1 Patina on 2007-04-28 10:47 (Reply)
BL, loved the spider story! The trick is, make fun of everybody. Then everybody hates you and you can't be accused of being racist or anything else.

Kid and I were just watching our dancing President, and decided that white men definitely can't dance, but liked him for trying. It wouldn't have been gracious to his hosts not to have joined in...
#14 retriever on 2007-04-28 10:52 (Reply)
Obtuse? Me? Well, OK. I do need to get out more - everybody I know says so.

I did go to a church dinner last night...
#15 BD on 2007-04-28 12:12 (Reply)
That's not gonna help, BD. You'll just be more publicly obtuse.
:-D
#16 buddy larsen on 2007-04-28 14:27 (Reply)
I was obtuse, too, until NutraSystems (tm) came along.
#17 buddy larsen on 2007-04-28 15:25 (Reply)
I need to be more obtuse? Sheesh.
I am eating Chinese dogfood. What else can I do?
#18 BD on 2007-04-28 15:44 (Reply)

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