We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
ADAM: [Turning a spit over an open fire.] That thing you gave me. The one that kept making that awful squeaking noise.
GOD: What are you talking about?
ADAM: You know. It looked sort of like me, but it was short and had a big rear end, and it stood around with its hands on its hips, squeaking at me from daylight to dusk. It kept telling me what to do, so I hit it with this big rock.
GOD: Adam! You have slain the helper I gave you! I am mightily displeased!
ADAM: Sorry! Was I supposed to keep it? It ate all my food, and it blamed me for everything, and when I lay down to rest, it lay down next to me and put its big cold feet on me. It was really annoying. And I noticed it had a lot of nice meat on it.
GOD: What have you done to her?
ADAM: I started with a nice cider vinegar and cayenne brine, and then I used a cumin-and-pepper dry rub, and now Iím slow-cooking her over mesquite coals.
GOD: Thatís not what I meant! And why are you eating meat? I gave you every fruit and every herb-bearing seed!
ADAM: I got that covered, too. Iím roasting corn on the cob.
GOD: I love corn on the cob!
ADAM: And I found that if you take the leaves from a certain plant and dry them and put them in hot water with honey, you get this stuff. I call it ďsweet tea.Ē
GOD: I havenít eaten a thing since breakfast.
ADAM: Pull up a rock and sit down. Thereís plenty.
GOD: I really shouldnít. My weight.
ADAM: Go on! You look fabulous.
GOD: I feel puffy.
ADAM: Never! Youíre fishing.
GOD: Look, if I give you another one of these things, you have to promise not to eat it.
ADAM: Why would I want another one? What is it good for?
ADAM: [slaps God on the arm] Get out of here! Thatís the craziest thing I ever heard.
GOD: Itís more fun than it sounds.
ADAM: Can you make one that doesnít squeak all the time?
GOD: No, thatís part of its nature. But if it starts to drive you crazy, light one of these and it will leave you alone. [hands Adam a box of cigars]
ADAM: [holding a corona] Okay. Wonít be much of a fire.