Maggie's Farm

We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.

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Wednesday, January 17. 2007

Joke of the Day

A gentleman diner asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman sitting alone at another table. 

The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender.

She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:

"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman.

It read:

"For your information, I have a Ferrari 360 Spyder, an Aston Martin DB9, a Mercedes SL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garages. I have over twenty million dollars in my bank account, but, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut two inches off.
Just send the bottle back."
Posted by Bird Dog in The Culture, "Culture," Pop Culture and Recreation at 10:05 | Comments (16) | Trackbacks (0)

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Great joke. I bet when she received the returned note she just about choked.
(naw that's lame ,try again)

Great joke. I bet when she received the returned note she just about wang chunged.
(better but still lame, last strike ... make it count)

Great joke. When she received the returned note sie sollte dem Mann eine Lippenverriegelung auf seinem Hahn gegeben haben!!! Ya
That's it.
#1 Joachim Rendt on 2007-01-17 10:44 (Reply)
I don't get it. Who drinks merlot these days?
#2 Anonymous on 2007-01-17 11:47 (Reply)
Anon,
Their is a sect, almost a tribe if you will, that merlot at every occasion. Yes, our society, that survived Bartles and James, and Annie Green Springs is slowly eroding.
It's a tale as old as mankind.

Let's hope they can get a grip and return to MD 20/20 before it's too late.
#3 Rhett Fumunda on 2007-01-17 11:53 (Reply)
Mr. Fumunda,
Please try to distinguish between their and there.
#4 Phoebe Lobe on 2007-01-17 11:58 (Reply)
I still don't get it. Who are Bartles and James and Annie Green Springs?

Merlot's been over-requested for years now. Better to order a rose mixture of the house red and white and enjoy what ensues.

The joke's pretty funny, btw.
#5 anonymous on 2007-01-17 12:10 (Reply)
Anon,
I tried to ask my Mom about Bartles and james but she was hitting the bong pretty hard so I Goggled it. It's like a pop soda wine.
#6 Jam Hucks on 2007-01-17 12:17 (Reply)
Thanks, Jam.

(If you're Goggling, you may be taking in residual fumes... Moms!)
#7 anonymous on 2007-01-17 12:20 (Reply)
Naw she locks the sliding glass door to the patio.

I like spray paint in a pillow.
You hear weerd stuff then to.

ps. don't use black gloss gold is the best
#8 Jam Hucks on 2007-01-17 12:24 (Reply)
Tile work is fun!
#9 Puggy Pagano on 2007-01-17 12:28 (Reply)
Castaneda and peyote surpassed so soon?
#10 anonymous on 2007-01-17 12:39 (Reply)
- a cheap merlot tastes better than a cheap something else
- from peyote to wine. tomorrow, water?
#11 bird dog on 2007-01-17 13:08 (Reply)
From wine to Evian to purified filtered water to holy water to pure sanctification. One of these days

(BD, I was just kidding about the merlot- I drink it b/c they say red is really good for you. But if I've been drinking it these past few years, then something else out there is more de rigueur to drink! I don't do trends well.)
#12 anonymous on 2007-01-17 13:20 (Reply)
Peyote and tile work are fun!
#13 Puggy Pagano on 2007-01-17 13:34 (Reply)
PP:

Shut up and eat your peyote like a good child.
#14 BD on 2007-01-17 17:47 (Reply)
Received in an email today:

Her Diary - His Diary

HER DIARY:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.

He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY:
Missed a big deer today, but at least I got laid.....
#15 anonymous on 2007-01-17 18:04 (Reply)
Superb. Will steal it for a post on the morrow.
#16 BD on 2007-01-17 18:09 (Reply)

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