We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Our Recent Essays Behind the Front Page
Monday, January 8. 2007
Do most men need a place to go to be alone, or to be with the guys, where they can feel undomesticated among their own stuff? I think so.
The barn, the garage, the workshop, the tack room, the gun room, and, in big houses, maybe the library or the study. A "family room" does not fit the bill - it defeats the purpose.
Villainous Company takes a look at a new book, Manspace.
Also, Dust my Broom shows you his.
Gwynnie and I have a friend who has the best "manspace" I have ever seen. It's his boathouse, with a deck over the water. Inside, cabinets for his boating and fishing stuff, racks for fishing poles, racks suspended from the ceiling for masts, a pool table, a refrigerator filled with beer, a well-stocked humidor, a cooktop, a bar, TV, music and good speakers, etc etc. Decorated with hunting and fishing art. There's a big old wood stove, but he had the place heated and insulated.
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Yes. I know men who continue to serve in the National Guard in order to get their monthly manspace. (Once I figure out my civilan career stuff, I will be one of them again.)
You just have to stay in a combat unit (infantry, armor, or artillery). We see miserable Army Reserve bastards in co-ed units at Fort Dix all the time. Yuck - like being at work - you can't say anything impolite.
I suppose my 'cave' comes in two parts ...
1. The corner of the room behind our bedroom where the gun cabinets & my shooting kit lives
2. The back of our Landrover Defender which is also full of shooting kit that I might need at anytime therefore it is never taken our
... oh, then theres the beer fridge in the shed above which game is hung
& not forgetting the the corner of the grain store that is home to the motorbike ... boxes & boxes of books & of course, more (old) shooting kit
I have mangaged to carve out "cave" in an auxillary garage,no longer used for auto strorage but half devoted to articles our psychology won't lest us throw our and the othe hald my weightroom,stereo, and best of all poster wall, used for motivation. Not one nude but a sufficient array of "pin-ups" to drawn the standard female "Dunker" comment, "Oh , that's so demeaning". Other posters include Marine Corps recruiting posters, SR-71 pics,Ferrari and Porsche posters and a Steve McQueen poster and a Robert Mitchum poster. Heaven.
Man, I coulda used that boathouse when the place was crawling with younguns. I'm down to just two female hostiles around here now, and they refuse to even enter my rat nest cave in the back where I sit typing. If crackers and vienna sausage weren't such great stand-alone cuisine, I'd build that kitchenette and they could simply email me whenever I need punishing.
By G-D Buddy it's damn good to know that the cuisine of choice for many of us cave-dwellers is Vienna sausage and crackers. I also keep a bottle of Tabasco sauce handy
I do my typing in the house library so I have to police up the area. But once in tha weight room I can ward off any intrusion with a Jimi Hemdrix, any blues CD, or for that matter anything that is out of the orbit one could draw around a grapefriut with a maximum apogee of 2".
cheese, too, any good hard cheese, can be smuggled out of the kitchen and will keep for days if you saran-wrap it between gnaws.
Tips for keeping the Mrs happen while she doesn't see you for days because you're in the man room.
#1Netflix..just keep a steady flow of romance DVD headed her way. If not managed correctly this can turn on you. You must manage her expectattions that you're not going to become the metrosexual hollywood portrays. this can easily be done by one of several methods.
a. wear the same mustard stained t-shirt for three days running, skip a day and repeat cycle
b. leave you skinning knife on the kitchen drainboard
c. give her a talking picture frame with her picture in it saying how much you love her in that turtleneck.
#2 this one will charm her out of her mind. let her see you cleaning the toilet. it doesn't have to be a world class clean but some foamy whatever and a few swishes with the toilet brush will have her thinking good things.
** do NOT under any circumstances allow her to see you doing the nasal blow with alternating passage closures INSIDE the house. If her bare feet hit a slicky spot, remember whatever it is it came in on SOMEONES shoe.
Ok back to our bunkers.
Har har--talking picture frame reminds me of that Bass a few years ago. great tips--but if the mustard is the same color as the tee shirt it loses dramatic clout. Just go back to the Saturday-only bath--it's traditional anyway, just ask grandpappy. And it's 'green', actually as well as metaphorically.
All excellent suggestions.
I might also suggest that, along with the once/week shower, a once/week shave is also effective. Saves big $ on razor blades, too.
Tell her that the $ you save on soap, shampoo, razor blades is hers, to spend on whatever she wants...
BL, your suggestion of the once a week bath reminds me of my old Uncle Tom. He never took bath's. But he would stand buck naked in front of the vanity mirror every night and wipe his entire body down with about 10 or 15 different ointments, potions and lotions. One of which I distinctly remember being turpentine. And no, he didn't smell and lived to a ripe old age. Needless to say, he was a character. I don't remember his having a manspace though.
Uncle Tom was a brave brave man. I'll bet one of his potions was Wankers ALL Purpose Man Topical Creme.
It was for years used by the sheep flockers in the more desolate parts of the range.
Additionally I'll bet ole UncTom used asafetida, also known as devil's dung or stinking gum. It was terpintiney type.
Then ole guys knew all the godd ways.
WHERE ARE THE LADIES? I thought by now some would come out to acknowlege the average males affinity toward sloth, "caving behavior" and the effects it has on civilization.
Several years ago, well nine actually, The Von Hoffmann Bros.' Big Damn Book of Sheer Manliness was published. It is a must have in any man's library.
that couldn't be Nicholas Von Hoffman of NPR or whatever. Noooo way.
You right about that Wankers--it wuz behind the counter at the drugstore, the old guys felt sheepish when they bought it.
Anon was I. Becoming senile and forgot to sign-in. Habu you may well be correct in your identifications. This was fifty years ago when I, as a tyke, could not read all those long words.
Thanks for the recommend re "Sheer Manliness." Though it appears its value is increasing along with its rarity.
Buddy, you are a card! Sheepish indeed.
on that price thing. I about choked when I looked on Amazon $68-72US..wow. I don't think it was $20 when it came out..USA today gave it a big write up...but did I but itNOOOO now if I want it ..mucho dinero...I think I'll just keep using what my 59 years of sheer manliness have taught me and save the money for the downstream walker or teeth implants...now as a UF grad I must leave to prepare for Ohio State...when I was a freshman at UF , Steve Spurrier was the QB!!!!
How'd you like to have played under Steve Spurrier? Not only is he always mad, he's always ENRAGED!
TD Buckeyes! Oh, defer to present company--Booo!
Luther, i tried to ignore that guy on that crittenden thread--but what a self-satisfied sanctimonious nincompoop. I'd like to see habu clobber him as only habu can. always fun to watch!
As a son of Jacksonville, you may guess where my loyalties lie. They are doing OK now with 9:14 left in the half. Myself, I'm saving for the over-the-shoulder O2 bottle. Damn Kools.
I know Buddy, you are among the most gracious folks in all these here threads. Always looking to educate and not belittle. But its good for you to get a little toothy now and again.
#2 Cleaning the toilet works wonders. If it appears clean, you can very occasionally say "Oh, and I cleaned the toilet" even if you really didn't. You accumulate enough credits and you can buy another shotgun, for example. The trick is knowing when.
Yes--not for her birthday, for instance--
Right, Luthur--it's always the same argument--but shit you gotta say something to it.
LOL. At the moment, I can live without another one. So long as we beat Chicago on Sunday.
I don't the local Gators have anything to sweat tonite--damn--they cleaning house--the Buckeyes look stunned.
Kinda like Michigan. Is the Big Ten overrated? I dunno. Though right now FL is not looking like that first half team.
well, this is undeniably a powerhouse SEC year. What LSU did to Notre Dame was cruel--
Sorry Buddy, just now went back to crittenden and hence saw your request. Thanks for the invite, but you know I can't write. As well you didn't need any cleanup. They always leave when confronted. Sorta like how they want to leave Iraq and the jihad war.
Ha--that reminds me of ole Silvertongue Smith. He was fishin with four or five pals when Jones fell in the water and drowned. The other guys elected Sivertongue to bear the grim news home to Mrs. Jones. When he got there he knocked on the door, Mrs Jones answered, and he said, "Hello, widow Jones."
She exclaimed "I'm not a widow!"
Silvertongue answered, "The shit you ain't!"
Where are the ladies? Well, I was at work supporting the family while he stayed in the entire house which is his "manspace". We have an interesting role reversal (not by my choice). Our whole house is his family's furniture and mother's artwork and his taste in furniture. I carve out a corner of the living room with my spiffy new Mac laptop and can escape. I have my Le Creuset cookware and make spectacular meals in the vile 1950s kitchen (original floor--yeah) and since my only leisure time is spent at the computer, I don't need a womanspace. Not all women are supported by hard working men who deserve a manspace...
In all fairness, I think everyone deserves their own retreat. I think it comes down to the breadwinner needing a comfortable place to recharge, display their own favorite tasteless art (I run to rather tame sappy line drawings of Jesus as the good shepherd and my dead parents' colleciton of assorted retrievers painted on plates and my greatgrandmother;s copy of the Raphael of St George killing the dragon) and waste a little quality time...) and eat unhealthy stuff and gloat over their dragon's hoard of toys. Everyone who knows me considers me unregenerate traditionalist female, but I think that once one goes out to work, whatever one's gender, one needs one's own space. The homemaker or the depressed unemployed spouse alike all mark the entire house as their territory...
Off to work.
RE: Where are the ladies?
I have always worked and lived around a lot of men. Their numbers have dominated my family and my work so I know something about manspaces like garages and basements and lumber yards and concrete plants and construction sites. Also I like to work for decent pay and IMHO decent pay is more often available in 'manspace'. I did a lot of the design work for our house but the men built it and I included plenty of manspace as it was one of the best ways to convince them to git er done.
Good gal, Patina! People like being appreciated, rather than depreciated.
A work ethic. That I appreciate. If you work hard you can decorate the place however the hell you like. If I'm not working or taking a kid somewhere, I'll be out hiking with the dog or at church anyway so it won't bother me. It isn't home for the rest of the family if the man has filled it up with all his crud...By definition, a manspace excludes women. No problem. No woman, no cry. See if a pinup keeps you warm at night...
As my son would say, just kidding...
Exhausted from the kind of day that my mother and all three of us kids used to pamper my dad after, bringing him slippers, newspaper, stiff drink, leading him to his wing chair by a lit fire with the dog and asking him about his day....Only when I come home I just start cleaning up everybody's mess, cooking supper, feeding the animals, doing the laundry, supervising homework, making the list up for the last minute trip to Staples to get the school project supplies due tomorrow....
So, tho y'all may find me tiresome, I depreciate spoiled boys unless they pull their weight...I don't care why you scrub the toilet, just do it!
No problem. We exist and we co-exist. It is the fine tuning that is sometimes a problem. Not tiresome at all, and I've never thought of not pulling my weight. Personally wouldn't care for one who would allow me to do otherwise.