Maggie's Farm

I too have all of his books - no surprise there then!

Anyway, for the sake of good order, some of my fav PJ quotes ...

You say we [reporters] are distracting from the business of government. Well, I hope so. Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby

I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to make a buck

The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosphy of sniveling brats

Anything that makes your mother cry is fun

These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper

Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It's not an endlessly expanding list of rights -- the "right" to education, the "right" to food and housing. That's not freedom, that's dependency. Those aren't rights, those are the rations of slavery -- hay and a barn for human cattle. There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences

Giving government money and power is like giving car keys and whiskey to a teenage boy

Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there

Sen. Ted Kennedy: "And when the Reagan administration was selling arms to Iran, WHERE WAS GEORGE?" Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife

Health care is too expensive, so the Clinton administration is putting a high-powered coporate lawyer -- Hillary -- in charge of making it cheaper. (This is what I always do when I want to spend less money -- hire a lawyer from Yale.) If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free

You can't get good chinese takeout in China and cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them

Guns are always the best method for private suicide. Drugs are too chancy. You might just miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time

[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Or maybe the people in Texas were attacked because of child abuse. But, if child abuse was the issue, why didn't Janet Reno tear-gas Woody Allen?

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it

The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective

I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime

Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class

It takes a lot of weapons to do good works (as Richard the Lionhearted could have told us). And this is not just a Somali problem. We have poverty and deprivation in our own country. Try standing unarmed on a street corner in Compton handing out twenty-dollar bills and see how long you last

The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you

etc etc etc