We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Since there are no links I have a question on etiquette for Maggie's readers
My wife occasionally runs around with another married woman who happens to have small children. I do know the woman in question but not very well.
Anyway, after Easter we had an extra sack of jelly beans. The wife's friend came by the house and they went out to coffee together.
Later when my wife was back I told her I had intended, but forgotten to give this extra bag of jell beans to this woman to give to her small children. My wife was horrified. She said any time a man gives candy to a woman, he is considered to be hitting on her. In turn, I was astonished. Hitting on her had never occurred to me. I protested. I wasn't giving it to her, she was merely the intermediary to take the candy to her kids.
So . . . did my forgetfulness prevent me from being some lecherous creep? I thought I was just being generous and kind.
Is giving candy to a woman in any circumstances the equivalent of hitting on her?
Punctiliousness, thy name is Mrs Feeblemind! I think the propriety of men giving candy to women decreases as their age difference increases, but it's a practice to avoid. As would be any unanticipated entanglements.
You might mollify the Mrs by asking if she would act as an intermediary making the candy gift, perhaps even leaving you completely out of the transaction. Riling up the Wife is never a good idea.
I guess I've been married too long or maybe I'm just out to lunch but I've never heard of the candy gambit. Even more to the point, I suppose the conversion, had you remembered to give her the candy would have gone something like this:
feeble: We had some jelly beans left over from Easter. I thought your kids might enjoy them.
(I can only imagine one of two types of responses.)
lady: Why, thank you. I'm sure they'd enjoy them.
lady: Thank you, but my kids got way to much candy this Easter.
I checked with Mrs. Mudbug and she, too, is amazed that anyone would see an ulterior motive in giving her the candy.
Now you know that your wife does so, as Mike suggests, should a similar situation arise in the future, it might be best to suggest that your wife make the offer.
Duh...facepalm. A mystery on a par with "Why do firemen wear red suspenders?" Henceforth, I will seek complicated, convoluted chains of causality elsewhere. Nice to see you fixed the flat in good order. All of us on your routes can now relax with the news of the day.