We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
However, we were of the generation of gentle rather than authoritarian parents. Probably not the best. Now, I feel the youth need some fear of parents because it is parents' job to represent reality before the kids hit real reality.
I had huge arguments with my wife about this in the raising of our two sons. I am far from abusive, but I told my wife that our sons really had to learn about respecting authority and following instructions. Otherwise, they were in for real problems when they became men--e.g., following the orders of a drill sergeant in basic training if the draft came back, listening to and following the orders of a police officer in a tense situation. If you don't know how to do that, as a male you could end up getting yourself killed at some point. So I told her we had to be firm with them and there had to be consequences if they didn't do what they were told. (To no avail.)
On a related tangent, what do you thing kids' sports are really about? It's not the sport. It's learning how to obey the instructions/ordrers of your coach as well as being able to act on those in coordination with your teammates.
Just in my own situation growing up, I knew that if I talked back to my parents I was liable to get a whack in the face from my Dad. I do not fault him for that behavior at all, he was a fair person and I learned quickly to respect and listen to my parents and all was fine. And they kept me out of a lot of trouble when I was a kid, and I avoided the fate of many in my generation who decided to be rebellious.
didn't have to wait for dad, my mom could slap you so hard that your head spun, and believe me I earned it. my own kids are now grown, they are ornery as all get out but they know the limit, and it hurt when crossed. To quote my mom (we are farmers) kids are like any animal, they have to be broke (trained) to obey and that there are consequences to misbehavior, her and dad raised 6 of us and we are doing well
I agree that spanking is necessary when they’re young. As mine got a little older (5-6) I found calisthenics worked well. I’ll still use that with my son, now 11. I would have sworn that he could have been the county push up champion when he was eight. Squats, burpees, crunches, sprints, they did it all. They were too tired to talk back afterwards.
Agree, Dr. Joy and it is a shame when others who don't understand that difference try to interfere in good parenting. My kids are close to grown now, as one will go off to college this fall and the baby is in 7th grade.
When they were much younger, one of them was at work with me one afternoon. He had repeatedly ignored me when I told him how to act. So when we were walking down the hallway near my office and he did it again, I popped him on the rump with a quick slap.
My lovely bride and I didn't have to spank them very often, but when we did, we ALWAYS spanked on the rump and never hard enough to cause any lasting injury (my dad once told me that God had given us buttocks so parents could spank unruly young ones without harming them).
That day a colleague of mine, who is a card-carrying Socialist saw me correct my son. He told one of our mutual friends that he was tempted to punch me when he saw me "assault my child". Mr. Socialist never told me that. And he never brought it up. I won't speculate on how that would have ended if he had thrown a punch, but if he had called CPS and I had to defend my parenting, it would have been a major hassle and might well have cost our family a great deal of money.
My kids certainly aren't perfect but they have respect for authority. They are honor students and their teachers are always telling me how nice our kids are. In short, they are well raised. If there were more like them in the world today, I think there would be less problems.
I understand the spanking is necessary if we don't spank them, we are the one who is spoiling them. in fact, it happens with me. when I find my kids starting disobeying me and others. I didn't spank them. but when it was too much I have to.
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"I agree that spanking is necessary when they’re young. As mine got a little older (5-6) I found calisthenics worked well. I’ll still use that with my son, now 11. I would have sworn that he could have been the county push up champion when he was eight. Squats, burpees, crunches, sprints, they did it all. They were too tired to talk back afterwards."
I'm not a parent, but it occurs to me the dividing line about corporal punishment might be the when the ability to process reason develops. Things can then be explained, and pushups ensue.
In contrast, a 3 year old cannot process certain dangers, like drinking Drain-O and running into the street. Perhaps a little physical pain is a good reminder...
Looking back, I don't object to the corporal punishment I received...