I advise my kids, as they grow up and enter the semi-adult social world, to appraise the people they meet - assuming they like them - before deciding to what extent they would invite them into their personal life, if at all.
We have all been disappointed by people, by ignoring things that were right in front of our eyes, especially when we were young.
Without ever getting into psychology, I just want them to be able to identify problem personality traits or personality types which have the potential to be damaging to them. I don't want them to obsess about it - just to be intelligently observant and to not take people at face value.
It's like Bird Dog identifying birds, or The Barrister having fun identifying fallacies. Call it "Know Your People."
The subject comes up because I was forwarded Instapundit's link to his wife's piece on Borderlines, at Dr. Helen. It can be difficult to write about psychological subjects for laypeople, because we tend to use so much jargon in our thinking, but she does a good job with the subject. However smart or charming Borderline women can be, guys are best off keeping an emotional distance from these often-exciting but angry and unstable females, because they can be very hurtful.
Other types worth identifying "in the field":
The "Slimies." This includes the ingratiating, the manipulative, the liars, the smoothies, the users, the vengeful, the overly-earnest, the conniving, the calculating. More common in men. Stay away, because how slimies treat others is the way they will treat you when you are no longer useful or convenient.
The "Angries." Always a complaint, without ability to take any joy in life. Just not any fun. Occurs in both mean and women.
The "Dopeys." They have never been curious enough about life to know much about anything beyond the totally conventional and superficial. Could be fun for a while, but ultimately dull and cannot enrich your life. Occurs equally in men and women.
The "Narcissists." They dig themselves so much that they don't really have much interest or energy for anyone else (unless the other is a "narcissistic object" - but that's too complicated for here). They want admiring mirrors more than they want real relationships. They are takers, often attractive and charming in a way, but they can be very unpleasant when they do not get the attention or adulation they believe they deserve. Enjoy them socially, but don't get too close. Occurs equally in men and women, but more obvious in women.
