We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Let's assume that few people in the Western world are content to be "who they are naturally," ie without improving themselves by effort or training.
Thus many women wish to behave in a ladylike fashion, many men in a gentlemanly fashion. In the West, people have something we term an "ego ideal" to which they aspire. The ignorant wish to be more knowledgeable, the fearful wish to be more courageous, the cool-hearted wish to be warmer, the weak to be stronger, the unmannerly or boorish to be more civil or refined, the unpopular to be more engaging and interesting. Not all, but many.
Many people work on these aspirations through example or from books, etc. People do this because nobody's "natural self" is of much value or interest to others.
Ego ideals are, in part, culturally-defined. If a man's ego ideal is to be a tough wise guy with years of jail time, he studies that. If Bill Clinton's trailer park gals wish to learn charm and refinement, they read Emily Post or the modern equivalent.
Unless you are a genius, nobody cares much about your "authenticity." That is for your diary or your analyst but please spare the rest of us.
My point here is not really about becoming ladylike, however defined. It is that it takes practice, and some failure, to try to become who you want to be.
While practice is required for manners, etiquette and conversation, being a truly refined woman comes from the heart. You can't learn good, and gracious, and kind, and pleasant and happy. It all comes from within.