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Wednesday, January 13. 2016

A TV station asked a guy in the Powerball line in a bodega in New York what he would do with the money if he won. He said he'd spend it on hookers and cocaine. Wonderful reply, but probably lying for the most part.

Do people focus too much about what they want, or too little? Well, everybody is different. I routinely disparage general discussions about "happiness." I never disparage people having personal life goals or direction, as long as they can be flexible in the face of harsh realities. But there is no generic definition of any universal details of happiness, and a large category of people is only happy when unhappy, upset, stressed, or in chaos because such things sort-of organize their thinking and thus help them feel "better".

This piece makes a good point: How much pain, sacrifice, and deprivation are you willing to sustain to try to reach your goals?

Posted by Dr. Joy Bliss in Psychology, and Dr. Bliss at 13:12 | Comments (16) | Trackbacks (0)

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Having everything you want is the definition of hell.

#1 Sam on 2016-01-13 14:48 (Reply)

Boy do I know a lot of people who are only happy when they are unhappy. It's a weird phenomenon, and I wasn't sure others ever noticed it.
Guess it's more common than I thought.

#2 Bulldog on 2016-01-13 15:02 (Reply)

The interesting thing is that the ability to delay gratification may be largely inherited, and our "self"-discipline may not be so much ours. We tell ourselves stories we wilke.

#3 Assistant Village Idiot (Link) on 2016-01-13 16:06 (Reply)

I should think that your physical body should be considered your "self", so calling it "self-discipline" is entirely appropriate. After all, who else's responses to stimuli could it be, if not yourself?

Now, whether moral preening is appropriate, when comparing your own perceived discipline level to someone else's-- that's a whole 'nother 'nother...

#3.1 Janet on 2016-01-14 12:54 (Reply)

Interesting. Thanks for the link.

As a hard-worker, high achiever, I find I'm happy but never quite content as there's always some higher goal or achievement to work towards. Maybe if I drive a wedge between what the article describes as "fantasy" and reality, I might get to contentedness someday.

On the other hand, my wife is a hard worker but low achiever, usually unhappy, but quite content.

We're all walking, talking pathology, aren't we...

#4 nell on 2016-01-13 16:29 (Reply)

First on hookers and cocaine. Then I'll waste the rest.

#5 dcjuggler on 2016-01-13 16:56 (Reply)

Back in the 90s I worked for a motivational author and speak who had a very successful book which was about how you could be happy all the time.

The revealing thing was the types of people who flocked to his expensive seminars. They wanted a great relationship, and lots of money, and to be really fit, (some pretty big dreams there eh?), but what they didn't want was to work hard at it. They wanted a magic wand and he gave them the illusion of such. It taught me a lot about what not to do to get ahead. Being surrounded by middle-aged losers when you're a young man can have a big effect.

#6 Adam (Link) on 2016-01-13 17:25 (Reply)

It's interesting to jump from winning the lottery to happiness. Winning the lottery = buying everything your heart desires = happiness, right? By that definition, a heroin addict who's just gotten a fix is the happiest man in the world. But I don't think most people would consider that true happiness - you have to have a meaningful happiness and for that you have to have meaning. Maybe the purpose of life isn't to be happy, maybe being happy comes from finding and fulfilling a purpose in life. If you can look around and know the world is a better place because you were in it, that your existence mattered, maybe that's happiness. And I think that's really all we're looking for, some confirmation that our existence matters.

#7 Jerryskids on 2016-01-13 17:39 (Reply)

I have to say. I'm content and pretty happy. Not rich but just happy.

What would I do? I'd put about $100M in the bank to take care of the family..... forever and really have fun giving most of it away. I think I'd do it in a surprising manner, just for the sheer joy and fun of it.

That would bring me a lot of joy. Just seeing the look on peoples faces when I fund their charitable work. Soup kitchen, shelters, lifting the burden of people who are getting crushed by the what they have to shoulder. That would be a good way to spend my days.

#8 Fred on 2016-01-13 18:23 (Reply)

I'm loving the way this huge lottery stake is make people think about what they'd do with all their material restraints removed.

#9 texan99 on 2016-01-13 18:51 (Reply)

I don't play the lottery because I'm a little afraid that I'd actually win. That's a lot of weight on your shoulders, especially when you didn't earn it.

Most people think they want to be rich, but don't realize that if they work their asses off and save most of it they can be. I try to find a happy medium between hard work and money saved.

I want to know someone who wins it. I'd like a loan bigger than any bank would give. I'd buy enough rentals to work them full time and be happy to pay it back in full, plus interest.

#10 Jack Walter on 2016-01-13 19:10 (Reply)

Heh - so I'm not the only one. A million dollar jackpot would make some stress over the kids' tuition and worn-out cars go away.

A billion dollars - that's kind of absurd, I don't really want to hire personal security or worry about kidnappers.

#10.1 NJSoldier on 2016-01-13 21:58 (Reply)

My answer may be like so many people's answer but here it is: I don't really need anything. I would certainly take more vacations and buy a few things but for the most part I would try to spend it all before I died and spend it helping people I know. Friends and family of course. Friends or friends and shirt tail relations and even strangers. I would give to a few charities I respect like the Boy Scouts and St Vinnies. I would get together with the local hospital and try to help them in a meaningful way. I would not give my children (or anyone I cared about) a large sum of money but I would set them up with a modest trust fund and a modest home. I would expect to encounter some disagreement, begging, hostility and other issues that lottery winners experience But I feel confident I could handle it and stay the course and do it my way.

#11 GoneWithTheWind on 2016-01-13 19:26 (Reply)

Socks. I recommend you start with new socks.

#11.1 Assistant Village Idiot (Link) on 2016-01-13 22:26 (Reply)

Not the lottery but some ideas for if you ever get a job again from 1933.

This song is not unlike what many men over 50 are singing today, especially after divorce.

#11.1.1 JK Brown on 2016-01-14 10:59 (Reply)

The best advice I discovered was at the end of the movie 'Wargames'.

The only way to win is not to play.

I took that to mean not to get wrapped up in keeping up with others or appearances. Work to get enough, but save to get what you want. But mostly from your first day on the job, work toward a plan for when you no longer have a job.

#12 JK Brown on 2016-01-14 11:03 (Reply)

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Wednesday, January 13. 2016

What do I want?