We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
I have seen plenty of marriages hit the rocks on those shores, but on plenty of other shores too. "Class" doesn't mean money in the bank. It means a shared understanding and approach to reality and relationships - and interior decor!
The qualities and attitudes described could be largely genetic, with the various parties attributing them to their upbringing. We write narratives of our lives, and our past, because we are an explaining species. Conversations with relatives years later, reading letters and diaries (including our own!), watching videos and other primary sources reveals to us that we have often misremembered.
I'm not saying it's all genetic/prenatal. But we speak of such things with the hidden assumption that they are 90% environmental. The reverse is more likely.
This is, in a nutshell, the enormous flaw in most education and sociology studies.
Assistant Village Idiot
Her husband, Evan, hated how much Madison ... spent on furniture and gadgets they didn’t need. He couldn’t understand her fixation.
Jessi is a moron. Evan (really?) chose a gold digger, Madison (come on) was on the MRS program. They both chose that type of partner and each of them wanted to be attractive to that type. Maybe Evan wanted to star in his remake of My Fair Pretty Woman in his mind, maybe Madison wanted a sugar daddy. Jessi says the're "settled", so they got and kept what they expected.
If their marriage is failing, its not because of 200 faucets.
The Poetry of Violence
So interesting. I have argued this idea before, once I figured it out for myself. Very difficult to be in a marriage where both people have a different idea of 'success' and how to spend their money.
Why not make it easier on you and your future spouse and find someone who grew up in much the same way you did? I think it is important to meet your boyfriend's family and see how they live. If it doesn't seem familiar to you, be prepared for financial strife and arguments about lifestyle.
Sure, for some couples, it does not pose a problem, but why continue on in a relationship, if there is a possibility this may happen? So many fish in the sea. You can find someone who is closer to your ideal...which includes their economic background.
Been at it 59+ years. We just had the college hots for each other. We exchanged visits to our parents homes and met eath others' siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins, but I don't recall ever pondering values, family lifestyle, what will the children be taught, or any of that. Nor do I recall her ever mentioning these things. No problem on how the money would be spent because there wasn't any. Of course that was the mid-50s; different times for sure.
You probably didn't contemplate these things, because you were similar enough in upbringing and lifestyle. Since you say you met in college (many years ago), I can already guarantee you were from middle class or upper middle class families...as those from poorer families were not regularly sending their kids off to college.
Trust me, you would've noticed if you grew up in suburbia with parents who ate dinner with their kids every night and she grew up in a trailer in the worst part of town and her dad left the minute you arrived to head for the bar.