Maggie's Farm

Re: raising boys that feminists will hate. The guy writing the article is a bit of a blowhard...I prefer to think of raising a boy who can love his male friends and his woman without being a wimp.

Growing up in a household with an chronically unemployed father puts many traditionally male responsibilities on this mother. For example, surreptitiously, so as not to depress his father, I remind my son that he will have to work hard to support his family, and succeed enough so that his wife can stay home with their children. I talk to him about office politics, and putting one foot in front of the other when work sucks, and competition, and working ferociously hard.

The roles have been reversed in my home and it's horrible, unnatural. But one must get up and make the coffee and get started anyway...

I am not a feminist, wanted to be a traditional wife and mother, but have supported the family for years now while my husband withers in the basement. I was always the more adventurous risk-taker--when the toddlers would fall, father would say "There now, come and rest, are you all right?" I would hug them, say "Who's a big brave boy, then! Let's try again"

I dare say the protesting-too-much he-man in the article would find me an affront because I am not skinny and pneumatic all in one, lack blonde hair or the proper submissive attitude. I half expected to find a plug for porn, he was so rabid...

Nevertheless, I am raising my son to be brave, adventurous, faithful to God, fearless in staking out his opinions, devoted to protecting the weak and the underdog, a patriot, a Christian, unafraid of responsibility. I would rather his father did, but since he doesn't, someone's gotta. His father helps him with his homework and badgers him about his manners and grooming. Go figure...

Personally, I love old fashioned men who are reticent about sharing their feelings, talk little, read a lot, are funny, drive fast enough to make me nervous, hunt, are kind to children, make things, break things, protect me, aggressively explore the world, etc. I point out examples of them to my son, and say "Now there's somebody you should try to be like..." So I do my best to raise my child to be manly, honest and brave. I feel sorry for him that his dad has never tossed a baseball to him, etc. but what can you do?

Enough.