We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Yes, we usually do good poetry on Saturday, but for once, some Broadway Lyrics from Bernstein and Sondheim's West Side Story - of course.
Gee, Officer Krupke
Music: Leonard Bernstein/Lyrics: Stephen Sondheim
RIFF: Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke, You gotta understand, It's just our bringing up-ke That get us out of hand. Our mothers all are junkies, Our fathers all are drunks, Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks!
RIFF and QUARTET: Gee. Officer Krupke, we're very upset; We never had the love that every child oughta get We ain't no delinquents, We're misunderstood, Deep down inside us there is good!
RIFF: There is good!
ALL: There is good, there is good, There's an tapped good, Like inside, the worst of us is good.
SNOWBOY(imitating Krupke): That's a touchin' good story!
ACTION: Lemme tell you to the world!
SNOWBOY ("Krupke"): Just tell it to the judge!
RIFF(to "Judge"): Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, My parents treat me rough, With all the marijuana, They won't give me a puff. They didn't wanna have me, But somehow I was had. Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!
DIESEL ("Judge"): Officer Krupke, you're really a square; This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. He's psychologic'ly disturbed!
RIFF: I'm disturbed!
ALL: We're disturbed. we're disturbed, We're the most disturbed, Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.
DIESEL ("Judge"): In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.
RIFF: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!
DIESEL ("Judge"): So take him to a headshrinker.
RIFF (to "Psychiatrist"): My father beats my mommy, My mommy clobbers me. My grandpa's always plastered, My grandma pushes tea, My sister wears a mustache, My brother wears a dress, Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!
A-RAB ("psychiatrist"): Yes! Officer Krupke, you're really a slob. This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job. Society's played him a terrible trick, "Und" sociogic'ly he's sick!
RIFF: I am sick!
ALL: We are sick, we are sick, We are sick sick sick, Like we're sociologically sick!
A-RAB ("psychiatrist"): In my opinion this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!
RIFF: Hey, I got a social disease!
A-RAB ("psychiatrist"): So take him to a social worker!
RIFF (to "Social Worker"): Dear kindly social worker. They say go earn a buck, Like be a soda jerker, Which means like be a schmuck. It's not I'm anti-social, I'm only anti-work, Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk!
BABY JONN (imitating female social worker): Eek! Officer Krupke, you've done it again. This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen. It ain't just a question of misunderstood; Deep down inside him, he's no good!
RIFF: I'm no good!
ALL: We're no good, we're no good, We're no earthly good, Like the best of us is no damn good!
DIESEL ("Judge"): The trouble is he's crazy!
A-RAB ("Psychiatrist"): The trouble is he drinks!
bABY JOHN ("Social Worker"): The trouble is he's lazy!
DIESEL ("Judge"): The trouble is he stinks!
A-RAB ("Psychiatrist"): The trouble is he's growing!
BABY JOHN ("Social Worker"): The trouble is he's grown!
ALL: Krupke. we got troubles of our own! Gee, Officer Krupke, We're down on our knees, 'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease. Gee, Officer Krupke, What are we to do? Gee, Officer Krupke, Krup you!
A favorite of mine! Good! Reminds me of my family, only none of us are punks...We only torture ourselves. When one of us hoves into view, the nice psychiatrist hugs his wife and says "Honey, I can afford to get you the Sub-Zero after all! And take the European vacation!"