Maggie's Farm

Most of the people I know who think kids should fit into the adults' lives, not vice versa, are men. Young men who haven't spent much time caring for younger sibs or babysitting. Or old men who have forgotten how much life changed (at least for their wives) with offspring. If you are rich enough to afford help and at least occasional babysitting, the parents can occasionally go out or have some time for hobbies and each other after kids. But many people can't, so simply work like those devoted hawks, mother and father wearing themself out feeding ever more demanding brood. Birds are lucky, the babies leave sooner.

Also, if one or more of your kids get seriously ill, or are born with any kind of disability, forget about normal life, perhaps forever. Nowadays, parents have lifelong responsibility for disabled or mentally ill kids (tho modern medicine cures more of the physically ill ones. But no more homes or institutions for the kinds of kids routinely given up by families in the 50s and 60s. Better for the kids. But it can destroy at least one parent's career and turns an entire family into caretakers. By the grace of God, people mostly rise above our natural selfishness and self centeredness, give up youthful dreams, and do what is necessary to cherish and feed beloved kids, no matter healthy or different. But life cannot, will not go on exactly as parents might have preferred. Children shouldn't be little tyrants or be like the Last Emperor. But sometimes special needs require sacrifice by parents.

Regardless, I adore my kids, have had more fun with them than any other times in my life, pity people without kids, feel blessed to be part of loving and educating such brilliant, interesting and altruistic people as my own puppies have been (who me, biased?!). Parenthood is like that old recruiting slogan for the Army, it's not just a job, it's an adventure.