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Thursday, February 6. 2014
I never expect honest answers from questions about sex, substance use, or money, so I won't expect perfect honesty here.
However, in an effort to warm up this frigid winter season, here's my scientific Maggie's Farm poll question for today:
How often during a normal day out and about in the world do you think "Hmmm, that's appealing; I think I wouldn't mind having some sex with that guy or gal"?
Honest answers most appreciated.
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Never. Never has the phrase "guy or gal" run through my head in relation to a thought about sex.
It depends on the gal, sometimes there are a bevy of beauties, sometimes it's slim pickings. In my mind's eye, I lust for my mother in law most often. That's the honest answer.
Depends where I am:
at the gym - all the time.
at work - never.
at Wal-Mart - blech! No way. Most of those folks are just plain blubber in too tight spandex.
hardly ever. Most people I see who're of the right sex are either too young, too old, or too flabby (and tbh I'm no doubt the same to them).
And the rest I know are married or otherwise unavailable which destroys any interest I might have had in them.
Ditto with J.T. -- very rarely. People my age are usually fat or otherwise look like they're ill or haven't taken care of themselves. No thanks. People about 10 years younger than me are sometimes attractive, but then they would not find me attractive (too many wrinkles, wattle, etc), so how can I sustain my own attraction without the positive feedback? All I have left that is attractive is nice hair and a waistline. And a sense of humor.
Difficult to answer. Depends on the situation, depends on the timing.
I've seen beautiful women who, given the situation, were utterly unappealing to me. Examples would include high-pressure sales environments, tight deadlines for reporting, and generally most work environments are lust-killers for me. The old rule of "don't shit where you eat" tends to impact me significantly.
On the other hand, as a general rule, I would say that probably 4-5 times a day I see a woman which the thought crosses my mind. At the gym or on the street. But usually on TV - pure fantasy.
So my number is 4-5 on average but completely situational.
I think of every time I see a slim young woman. And more than a few other women. Mostly it is thoughts of regret that I shall never have a chance to hold that beautiful body next to mine. Sigh.
4 or 5 times a day at least. Then around once every couple of days I get the "I'd commit serious felonies for that one"! But considering my age I keep it to my self.
Here's an honest answer. If you have to ask, you need some serious remedial training in human nature studies. Begin with the Bible and Shakespeare. Oh alright, the answer for boys from the age of three or four until death is - almost constantly. Now that you know, isn't it remarkable that men can type, drive or walk? It is indeed. What are you wearing Doc? Who cares?
Depends on my state of horny and where she ranks on my ten- scale. ....
Okay, most of the time.
I have not stopped thinking about sex ever since I saw the girl in your black and white photo...still thinking about it.
Any time my mind isn't occupied with work or family, near enough, I'm thinking about sex. That's a very appealing picture by the way.
I'm 37 now. I would say about every five minutes since the time I was twelve or so. My wife would tell you it's more often than that. As for women that I see throughout the day, I'd say about 80% of women are attractive in one way or another. There is a big difference between entertaining a thought and actually desiring a woman. Also, for the most part, I'm talking about a passing thought that is there one moment and gone the next.
Imus long ago said he thought about sex only once a day, but it lasted for hours.
Aristotle or somebody said that when you outgrow it, it's like being unchained from a maniac.
Evolution wants babies.
Well, at some almost unconscious level I evaluate every women I see, so it pretty much depends on how many I encounter. A fair percentage pass, but at this point I can't say it amounts to much more than putting a check mark in the proper box before moving on.
Rarely. Almost always, when I see an attractive woman I also notice she has one or more tattoos. Tattoos are just totally gross and an immediate turnoff. They creep me out.
Just last Sunday at McDonald's I noticed a very attractive blonde and then saw the graffiti crawling down her left arm. That was that.
Maybe if I lived in colder climes it would not be so immediately evident.
Great question, Dr. Joy. And from the above comments I'd say you've received some very honest answers, despite your misgivings.
My further question is, why is this?
Is it just the sensual feel, or the passing on of ourselves, what deeply ingrained genetic entity is the root of this?
As, to be honest, as you request, I see every woman (when does a girl become a woman) except for the morbidly obese, as fantasy partner.
As I love women, all women, all shapes, sizes, descriptions. Women are the most fascinating end points of the universe. Or, put another way, Yoni rules.
And you, mysterious, Dr. Joy, have occupied my thoughts on more than one occasion. Brains and beauty, of which I'm convinced, after your various descriptions of yourself, you have in abundance, engender lecherous thoughts.
So, beware the clinical.
There is a place in every woman in which every other woman resides in total. I can start to fantasize about another woman and end being returned to my partner.
Concerning the pict. What are they doing with their britches on?
See, this is problematic.
Right now I'm between contracts so I'm mostly at home or the gym. Other than random pictures on the internet I only see my wife, and the women at the gym.
When I'm at the gym I'm impaired because I can't do math when picking heavy stuff up, which I learned to my dismay again a couple weeks ago. OTOH I hit a personal best in the squats :)
So it's between 1 (my wife) and lots (at the gym). Where lots is defined as more than I can count because my hands are full of iron.
I don't usually think about the gals. But when I do, I usually just take things into my own hands.
Never. And always. Strange thing that sex. It's a big deal. When it get's right down to it, I only want my wife. I might fancy your wife, or your toothbrush, but mine is mine and yours is yours. As a normal man, I want every woman on earth. Twice. Even the ugly ones, but reality keeps true lust at bay for me. After all, where does it lead? Not to satisfaction. Only to regret. Why start down that road?
30+ years later and all of the pain of a moral life in the academic environment there is still only one. When he walks in the door I breathe in a little deep breath--still love to see that guy walk into the room!
what is the purpose of this poll, apart from prurient interest? a casual google search turns up what must be thousands of studies, some of them apparently legitimate.
Rarely, any more; a couple of times a week.
30 years ago, I would have answered "a couple of times an hour".
So many honest answers. I mean, those who deny sexual attraction are not being dishonest. They are merely dead or not alive. Or pretending to be married to Jesus. As if.
A comment of mine elsewhere on men sex and porn
The Tierney link is interesting too.
Constantly, depending on location.
My office girls would probably slap me 20 times a day if they knew what was going through my head.
I guess I believe too much of what I watch on TV or read so, I for one, am thrilled to read that lots of men (all ages) are still very attracted to women.
I don't see why it's creepy. No one is passing out phone numbers or taking pictures. It is as it should be.
Oh, and happily married 27 years. I appreciate a good looking man, but just a glance and a smile to myself that God does some great work on the outside too.
I evaluate EVERY woman as a sexual partner. I don't do it on purpose and I'm not proud of it. It just happens. For women under 30, about 90% make the grade, for women over 60, about 50% make the grade. Why? Heck if I know. Of course, I often remind my self that as the husband a very low libido wife, that looks are not the key. I would rather have an ugly woman that wants to be wiht me than a lovely woman that can't be bothered.
Brad: You ignorant slut. You are a sexist pig, male chauvinist, and everything the fems despise. Fact is, you are a real man, what a man is and was meant to be by our creator, whomever / whatever that may be. Just like a Tom cat. Why? Does it matter? Your purpose is to propagate. Most men won't 'fess up to being what they are. I am just like you. Doesn't bother me. Nothing I can do about it, my brother.
Concur with Gone With The Wind; virtually all the time, awake and in dream state. As a male, it's of gals, only.
It has varied of course over time, was greater in periods of bad marriages I am sad to report. For some time it languished but now that I have regained my balance and my nature has reasserted itself, frequently but with discretion. Not every day, but most days.
You didn't specify male respondents, but a quick look tells me you got maybe one answer from a woman?
There really is a difference. It rarely occurs to me to imagine sex with a guy I run across in my daily life. Even if I'm consciously entertaining the thought, it most often takes the form of "I wonder if I could ever come to think of a guy like that one in that way, after I'd gotten to know him quite well and he turned out to be a great fellow that it wasn't embarrassing to talk to?"
Of course, it's not often that I encounter a gorgeous young man, and even if I did, there's no longer anything attractive to me about some kid I probably have little in common with.
So my husband is pretty much it for me: nothing and no one else I want.
It is different for a woman and thus easy to misstate the facts. Young women do indeed think about sex "all the time" but for most it is about attention and "power". The power to make men do what they want them to do. Older women too think about sex as well but for most it is about attention. They don't shave their legs and wear reveling clothing and high heels because it's more comfortable. They do these things for the attention. True not necessarily to "get sex" but to get noticed by the opposite sex. Is that thinking about sex? Right now a half dozen are preparing to comment that women dress nicely for themselves or to impress other women... Bwahahahah! Please!
Even at my age, probably 10 times a day. But I have yet to see that many individual women in a day, of any age group, who could fill the slots those 10 times open up.
Depends on the question .
Number of times per day I find a woman very attractive in a sexual sense: maybe 5 or 10.
But that's abstraction. In terms of actually pursuing even if she were available, none. Even if I wasn't married, it wouldn't be that many (I'm 64)
(My wife is not bothered by my 'appreciative eyeballs', she realizes it has nothing whatsoever to do with reality)