Maggie's Farm

Being the weekend, we're going to do things just a wee bit different today.

Bizarre Headlines

Now here's a real jaw-dropper:

Thunderstorms Pose A Threat In Battling Calif. Blaze

Because, if there's one thing you don't want a lot of while fighting a blazing forest fire, it's rain.

Now here's a marvelously — if inadvertently — incredibly true headline:

Military Works To Change Culture To Combat Rape

If you're trying to reduce the incidence of rape of military women, importing a bunch of gays sounds like just the ticket!  And that, friends, is culture change.

In the 'Scratching Head' department, we have this:

Private Company To Put A Telescope On The Moon

And you think, gosh, if only we had some kind of "space station" or "orbiting telescope" or something where we could already do this!

And here's one of those confusing philosophical issues:

Stop Force-Feeding Guantanamo Prisoners on Hunger Strikes

So, just to get this straight, the winner gets death?

By the way, speaking of your probably-eminent death, in case you've been worried about that MERS virus that's sweeping the globe and is about a week away from stopping by your neighborhood, these two articles should clear things right up:

MERS Virus May Be Deadlier Than SARS, Study Finds

MERS Is Not The New SARS, Study Finds

So at least we can put that little worry to rest.

And Glenn Reynolds of PJ Media has shed a little light on the subject of armed domestic drones and how we should view them.

“The FBI does not use (unmanned aerial vehicles) to conduct ‘bulk’ surveillance or to conduct general surveillance not related to an investigation or assessment,” Kelly wrote.

Hmm.

I think we can safely infer that "Hmm" to mean he doesn't really trust their word.

But on the same page:

AT AMAZON:

And, very cool: Today Only: Parrot AR.Drone 2.0 Quadricopter with Extra Battery. But when can I get my own armed drone? All the cool kids are getting them . . . .

So, if I'm reading this right, armed drones are cool as long as the grown-ups aren't allowed to use them?

All of which brings us to the question on everyone's lips:

Do Scientists Mind Being Called Boffins?

Uh, buddy, if those scientists had the slightest idea of the names we usually call them, they'd fall to their knees in gratitude for only being called boffins.

Finally, turning to the horrific side of life, a drawbridge wouldn't open the other day, stranding drivers for, as the article states, "almost 45 minutes."  When this kind of horror strikes an innocent populace, you can just bet that heads will roll.

Mother Nature Blamed For Failures With Woodrow Wilson Bridge Gates

And look how they zero right in on the exact problem:

Engineers now know why it happened. The weather affected the electronics.

"Circuit breaker, relay switches, wires are all effected by the elements,
moisture, heat, vibration, barometric pressure," says Virginia Department of
Transportation bridge engineer Nick Roper.

And you think, gosh, if only there was some kind of modern science, like maybe the kind of advanced technology we'll have when we finally put a man on the moon some day, that could be used to prevent such tragedies in the future.

I hear that new-fangled "insulated wire" looks promising.  And that new "silicone sealant" isn't being called "the wonder glue of the 70's" for no reason.

Normal Headlines

Students Sign Petition To Legalize Abortion After Childbirth

Kids today, huh?  Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?