We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
There is no "should". This foolish and, I think, exhibitionistic piece in the WSJ, How Often Should Married Couples Have Sex?, has been getting attention all over. I don't think it is very illuminating. Sexual frustration, however, does make both guys and gals cranky, and tends to make them want to look elsewhere for their instinctual romantic and sensual drives (which normal people do anyway, but even more so).
In my professional opinion, younger guys seem to be OK and relatively calm with sex twice daily. They are monkeys. Older fellows seem to get by with anywhere from daily to 3-4 times/week, depending on how hard and long they work at their jobs. Women are an entirely different topic, but my general advice to women is to remove the TV from the bedroom. Not to worry ladies - they will put it back in our bedrooms 24 hrs/day when we're demented widows in the nursing home. We can catch up with our shows and movies then. Carpe diem.
Apropos of the topic, I saw that Glenn Reynolds linked this book: Lube Jobs: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex. Library journal commented about it, "Most people spend the largest part of their adulthood slogging through committed relationships, and they need books like this."
Good cozy marital snuggles can make up for a lot of troubles. But "slogging"? If you're slogging, it's your own darn fault. I have patients deep into their 70s and 80s with quite satisfying and jolly sex lives even when they know far more than they want to know about their spouses, and when their equipment is not what it once was. We are, in part, biological beings.
I was married to my first wife for ten years, during which time she accused me repeatedly of being a sex maniac. I'd ask on Monday, and she'd say no, and I'd ask on Tuesday, and she'd say no, and I'd ask on Wednesday and she'd say no, and I'd ask on Thursday and she would accuse me of being a sex maniac and never thinking about anything else. Hence, her status as "first wife".
For my second (and final) wife, she never says no... and often asks ME. We've been married for a delightfully short 32 years so far.
A woman who never wants sex, DOES want a divorce, even if that's not what she SAYS she wants.
Science has some suggestions, according to the book "Sperm Wars."
For a fertile wife, penetrative sex at least every 3 or 4 days. The reason is that the husband's sperm contain specialized sperm cells that attack other sperm cells. These are guardian cells and are effective for three or four days within the wife's cervix and provide some protection against insemination from other men.
It's no coincidence that the average married couple in their 20s and 30s have sex 2.5 times a week.