Maggie's Farm

We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.

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Much Sorry with Delays
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Tuesday, April 1. 2008

Dog of the Week: Norwegian Long-Haired Ptarmigan Ptracker

This is a photo of Gunnhilde, a fine example of this family-friendly and versatile sporting breed. Known
best for pointing and ptracking ptarmigan in the far north, the hardy but socialist Norwegian is also useful for ptracking lost reindeer, aquavit, herring, blonds, and boiled potatoes.

I had one of these dogs once, but he ptracked a lovely smoked herring on a truck on its way from Nova Scotia to North Waddlefield, MA, where he picked up the scent and followed it south to Waterbury, CT. I heard that he and the smoked herring got married, settled down, and opened a successful dry-cleaning shop in Torrington, CT.

Posted by Bird Dog in Hunting, Fishing, Dogs, Guns, etc. at 11:07 | Comments (37) | Trackbacks (0)

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Beautiful dog! Is it real, or did you just make it up? But some reeducation re: blondes is necessary. He should catch and release until their true roots show.
#1 retriever on 2006-04-01 06:13 (Reply)
I've always been partial to plain old mutts. I've always been partial to aloof, proud and scarred alley cats too.
#2 goesh on 2006-04-04 09:35 (Reply)
I had an alley cat once. He adopted me and for the next 14 years never left the room I was in--if he could help it. He was a middle to small marmalade cat. Lived in a neighborhood with some real hefty types. He would meet me at the car and walk close until we stepped just past the big guy doing sentry duty, then he would reach around behind my left and sucker punch em with a great left hook!!
He was a southpaw
#3 apple pie on 2007-04-01 11:36 (Reply)
Woops--I forgot the punchline:

He weren't no fool!

Hope you enjoy Sunday morning services. At my church they are no longer hiding their economic/social/governmental agenday behind the issue of homosexuality. They might say the Lord's Prayer if the old and wealthy have donated properly--it is now a gift to say the words we long to hear. Rewarded for good behavior. You folks are in for a real surprise in this "Brave New World"
#4 apple pie on 2007-04-01 11:39 (Reply)
Time to change churches, maybe?
#5 Skookumchuk (Link) on 2007-04-01 14:33 (Reply)
Here is one version of "The Lord's Prayer" that I have actually heard in a church service. If, I remember correctly it was communion, but it is hard to tell anymore. We no longer confess sins, or acknowledge any responsiblity for our actions. But, for April Fool's Day I thought this would make a good read--or, we could go for the "communion for women's menstrual cycles" which was also done at my Episcopal Church. Anyway, here it is--the new Lord's Prayer:

My Creator (soul's Source, spirit's Destination, Ground of Our Being, etc.)
in whom/which is heaven, or within which we can find heaven (as co-creators)
we revere/respect you
We will work to see your divine intent become a reality where we live.
We will work to see that everyone has the food they need to live and have health and energy to contribute to the welfare of Earth and its life systems.
We sense that we are forgiven for our admitted shortcomings to the extent that we art able to forgive others their failures.
We recognize the presence of evil in our world and strive to avoid being a part of it as well as pointing it out whenever we are aware of it.
We work for these changes in our lives and in the lives of others in the spirit of Jesus who cared for all those who were unjustly treated or oppressed.
May we make these things so.
#6 apple pie on 2007-04-01 15:01 (Reply)
Skookumchuk: The new vicar in Lacey is the gal that did that communion service. We got rid of her by pushing her up to this place. It is possible that she is somehow related to the big union guy in Michigan/Illinois. Look here:

http://www.stbenedictslacey.org
#7 anonymous on 2007-04-01 15:04 (Reply)
Also known as the Gnewfie?
#8 rightwingprof (Link) on 2007-04-01 15:54 (Reply)
That prayer is blasphemous.
#9 BD on 2007-04-01 16:14 (Reply)
Blasphemous as well as grossly insulting!
#9.1 Meta on 2008-04-01 12:08 (Reply)
Update! They moved their shop from Ptorrington to Pthomaston.
#10 Santay on 2007-04-01 16:58 (Reply)
Some humor? I hope so anyway.

Why men like Rachel Ray;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WxP6MGvO_s

h/t: http://2blowhards.com/
#11 Luther McLeod on 2007-04-01 18:15 (Reply)
Whenever my wife comes in the room when I'm watching Rachel Ray, she says - to the cat - "his girlfriend is on."
#12 Skookumchuk (Link) on 2007-04-01 18:42 (Reply)
Skookumchuk: did you go to this website? It should be very interesting to you:
http://www.stbenedictslacey.org
#13 apple pie on 2007-04-01 19:00 (Reply)
Yeah Skook, she's cute and I enjoyed her show for a long while, but her authenticity was her in/un/?authenticity. That's faded, along with her marriage, unfortunately. The perils of fame I suppose.
#14 Luther McLeod on 2007-04-01 19:07 (Reply)
Hey BD you think that is bad--try this!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/04/01/neaster01.xml
#15 apple pie on 2007-04-01 19:19 (Reply)
AP, that is pretty bad. Mr. John appears to be trying to change the world to suit his life(style). The only sin is judgment, in his world. I can just hear his 'I dare you'...

Kinda ties into Kayet's 'indiscriminate' view in the speech below.
#16 Luther McLeod on 2007-04-01 21:06 (Reply)
When I was in Africa, I heard terrific sermons unlike anything I have ever heard in any US Episcopal church. There is something about struggle, about defending the flock against those who burn your churches, that often places people in a different moral universe than those who will never know such challenges. No wonder their sermons were so good.
#17 Skookumchuk (Link) on 2007-04-01 22:18 (Reply)
Who was delivering those sermons in Africa?
#18 apple pie on 2007-04-02 01:46 (Reply)
Can't remember. Nobody famous like Akinola or Orombi or anybody like that.
#19 Skookumchuk (Link) on 2007-04-02 09:33 (Reply)
"...the "communion for women's menstrual cycles" which was also done at my Episcopal Church."

yuk. Do the women throw communion wafers at the menopausal women and gripe and moan and laugh?

I'd quit that church unless they had communion for jock itch. With every line of the former Lord's Prayer beginning with the collective 'we', it's only fair to include the men's genitals.
#20 Meta on 2008-04-01 12:21 (Reply)
Yes Meta... even though old... the thought of flying wafers is just as relevant today, more so in fact. And you bet... let's be sure and include all the little puppies under the banner of the collective 'we'...
#20.1 Luther McLeod (Link) on 2008-04-01 12:37 (Reply)
We had a a short-haired Norwegian Ptarmigan Ptracker. He was a lovely dog. We were actually able to teach him to do potty in the toilet, but he never could quite get the hang of flushing.

One day after we had just taken him to the farrier he was running in the yard and he threw a shoe. It hit him in the genitals and he was in so much pain we had to take him to the vet and have him put down. It was sad, really.
#21 Jephnol on 2008-04-01 12:40 (Reply)
It hit him in the genitals? oh wow... That is SO sad. Did he yelp his last breath? I hope the church gave him The Bowser-Threw-a-Shoe-and-Blew-a-Genital Communion. How'd you get his legs down so you could close the casket? Did you hammer the offending shoe onto the side of the mahogany?
#22 Meta on 2008-04-01 13:09 (Reply)
Actually, I nailed the shoe to the side of the coffin. It was only later I learned that a shoe should be heel up to keep the good luck from spilling out. We buried him in the backyard and a flood popped him out of the ground like a cork. Three months later we received a letter from Thailand with his dog tags enclosed and a letter asking for speedier delivery and refrigeration.
#22.1 Jephnol on 2008-04-01 13:29 (Reply)
that was right after aphids got into his four-leaf clover field and ate one leaf off each plant, right before the St Patrick's Day harvest
#22.1.1 buddy larsen on 2008-04-01 16:31 (Reply)
Those ingrates. You know they just put him through a Cloroxing down at the beach then served him up. I put a kitty in a bottle once and sent him off. You know how when you want an egg in a bottle you put the egg on the top and some fire down below and before you know it that egg has gone phwump! into the bottle? That's how I did the kitty. I got sad and it was more loneliness than any man could bear so I sang: 'Sendin out an SOS, Sendin' out an SOS, I'll send an SOS to the world..'(repeat a bunch of times) And wouldn't you know it... A year has passed and I walked out this morning and saw a hundred million bottles filled with kitties washed up on the shore.
#23 Meta on 2008-04-01 16:33 (Reply)
ok, that's a doggone tall tail if ever i herd one
#23.1 buddy larsen on 2008-04-01 17:08 (Reply)
Is not! I did it once with a chihuahua. I thought I was being cool like all the other kids, but then I started bottling miniature poodles and dachshunds. I couldn't stop. Finally, I was bottling two or three Great Danes a week. I never would have stopped if the SPCA hadn't taken away my membership.
#23.1.1 Jephnol on 2008-04-01 17:19 (Reply)
Just a cat away
A feline lost at sea

I'll send a C.A.T. to the world

I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
kitten in a bottle

Seems you're not alone at being a lone kitty bottler.
Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion cats away
Looking for a home
#23.2 Jephnol on 2008-04-01 17:12 (Reply)
wasn't that a cat stevens hit -- back befo he changed his name to Mustava Noog Immik ?
#23.2.1 buddy larsen on 2008-04-01 18:24 (Reply)
I haven't heard much of CS since he went with the Fatwa label.
#23.2.1.1 Jephnol on 2008-04-01 18:58 (Reply)
yeh -- Crosby, Stills & Nash changed to Fatwa too. They just call it 'fat' for short.
#23.2.1.1.1 buddy larsen on 2008-04-01 19:25 (Reply)
No. It was The Police and Sting.


I'm weeping...... Send out an SOS quickly quickly.. Serious weepage.
#23.2.1.2 Meta - Bottler of Kitties on 2008-04-01 20:29 (Reply)
Put the cork down and step away from the bottle!
#23.2.1.2.1 Jephnol on 2008-04-01 22:01 (Reply)
I recommend the Coneheaded Birdsucker for capturing stuff on the wing

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rhhardin/2374366534/sizes/o/
#24 Ron Hardin (Link) on 2008-04-01 19:57 (Reply)
That's a damned fine looking Conehead! Ya know, my dog can't catch for sugar. I'm going to get me one of those funnels so's we can practice without making a mess.
#24.1 Jephnol on 2008-04-01 22:04 (Reply)

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