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Wednesday, November 21. 2012
Just Put the F*cking Turkey in the Oven and go take a walk. She's right. Turkey does taste like cardboard unless you charcoal-and-wood grill one, in which case it tastes like semi-smoked cardboard. I'll only eat the dark meat of the thighs and legs, where there is flavor and juiciness.
Two of my kids are going down to see Dylan in Brooklyn tonight with pals. I'd go myself, but I am working. My kids find Bob kind of fascinating. I love it when my kids are around and they decide to go off and do things together. Feels good to know that they will be there for eachother in the future when I fade from the picture.
It also makes me feel good to know that Bob is back in New York tonight, his old stomping grounds. He'll never quit. Like a true Yankee or an old bluesman, he'll work until he drops. It pleases me to let the youth use my tickets.
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Take one large (c 14lb) home-reared (or free-range) turkey.
Stuff one end with chestnut stuffing and the other with a traditional american stuffing of choice. Cover with 4 ounces butter and 10-12 rashers of fat bacon. Then place in 2 to 3 layers of aluminum foil and place in roasting dish. Cook at 375F for 1 hour, remove from oven and wrap firmly in foil so that no moisture can escape. The bird should be heated through by now so reduce heat to 325=350 F and cook for a further 4 hours.
If you want, you can cook the bird surrounded by beef sausages for the last 2 hours.
Brown the bird by undoing the top of the foil for the last half hour and reserving the bacon to serve with the sausages.
If this is dry, shoot whoever sold you the bird-or better yet, just stone them with chunks of the offending bird.
When we have it at Christmas, it comes out amazingly moist and really very little like cardboard. The gravy is exquisite.
If you have an Aga or similar device with a low (temperature) oven, you can cook the bird overnight in the low oven (after preheating for one hour as above) and then move it back to a reasonable heat for the last hour or two.
Dylan Thomas was a right good poet; Bob Dylan was never any good and is no doubt worse now than ever. I guess they want a hundred and fifty bucks to hear him croak; I'd rather gig frogs.
Poetry or not, how are these lyrics?
Bob is actually a fairly affordable ticket. If he's not your taste, so be it. Maybe Ned Rorem and you could start a MeetUp.com page to share your mutual consternation that Bob is appreciated but not by you.
give me the Allman Brothers anyday...and bourbon over scotch. or this:
"nothing I cared, in the lamb white days,that time would take me
up to the swallow thronged loft, by the shadow of my hand,
in the moon that was always rising,
or that riding to sleep
I should hear him fly from the far fields
and awake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Oh, I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
though I sang in my chains like the sea."
For many years, I have cooked turkeys with "http://www.recipelink.com/msgbrd/board_0/2009/NOV/85587.html"the breast side down method of Jackie Olden.
The recipe at that site recommends cooking it with no stuffing but I have always stuffed them and they are soft and moist and delicious.
One year, I got exotic and did a boned turkey stuffed with meat of some sort. It wasn't as good and when boned, it looked like roadkill.
Turkey actually tastes better than cardboard. And butter tastes better than margarine. Just thought I'd clear that up ;)
And steak taste better than turkey. Which is why we are having steak. (And bacon wrapped, cream cheese stuffed jalapenos. And caesar salad. And scalloped potatoes. And tiramisu.)
My daughter's mother-in-law sent her this recipe:
I think you need to try this recipe for this year!!!
I thought this sounded good! Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing ingredient -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.
8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good)
1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back.
After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.
When the turkey's a** blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room,.... it's done.
And, you thought I didn't cook...
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile .
"Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile ."
I tried to make a tailsman acronymn out of those caps, didn't turn out. Good advice still, though.
Let's celebrate what we have, now, as it is going, going, gone.
Besides, taste of the turkey doesn't make a damn bit of difference. That's not the reason for why we are gathered.
I am pleased to see that at least one person shares my opinion of this vile fowl.
Heck of a horse race going on here - poets and song slingers, cooks and philosophers. I love them all, and what a day to reflect!
Turkey is wonderfully flavorful if cooked properly. Brine it in cider if you must. Let it rest long before carving. Cut the extra meat from the carcass within an hour of roasting, and wrap it tightly in foil packets. You have meat for many days that is moist and flavorful. Cardboard this is not. One year I did the butterflied Mark Bittman turkey recipe from the NYT. It was so awful the spouse put it out for the foxes.
Turkey is pretty good, the skin is the best. But Turkey gravy is awesome so THAT is the reason you cook a turkey. What would the mashed potatoes, stuffing and white meat taste like without that gravy???