We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Humans aren't Bonobos, but in human connections there is always some sex in the air. The popularity of "friends with benefits" relationships among the youth, and now middle-aged singles - makes that clear. Lots of other things are in the air too, like competitiveness, childish emotional wishes, familial-type feelings, feelings of tribal affiliation. loneliness, delight or amusement in another's company, shared intellectual or recreational fun, exploitative aspirations, etc., etc.
My profound and earth-shaking point here is simply that human interactions and connections partake of all aspects of being ... human.
There's one thing I know for sure: Put a guy and a gal who are pals in a comfy place away from home, add alcohol, stir, and anything can happen. Alcohol numbs the prefrontal cortex.
This does not surprise me one bit.
While the study may be sloppy, our intuition has told us (and many of our own experiences have shown us) that there is a great deal of truth in this...
1) If you've already been in a relationship (FWB or more), then DEFINITELY impossible to be just friends. Maybe for a week or a month. and DEFINITELY impossible to be just friends and keep a happy wife/SO at home. So just.move.on.
2)If you have been friends all of your life, and NO hanky panky between you, EVER, I believe this IS possible to be just friends... But it needs to be when two people clearly know their boundaries.
3) When high-alchohol content is involved, NEITHER (1) or (2) can be trusted. But then again, I don't believe anyone over 25 needs to ever get drunk... I just don't get it... I think any adult who gets drunk or does drugs, HAS to be running from something...
Amazing how long it takes people to get this, with or without a "sloppy study."
I think people actually DO know this, but they don't want to give up their "happy" relationships with their opposite sexes...
It is a shame how many people put their primary relationships on the line for friendships that they have to "adamantly deny" any sense of tingliness.
Here's a hint fellas. Stop answering your significant other and answer yourself these questions:
DO you write innapriopriate comments to them while drunk or/sober?
DO you keep photos of them in your stash?
DO you ask for photos in their hot Halloween Costume/bikini from their last trip?
DO you delete their texts as soon as you exchange it with them so her/your SO doesn't see something inappropriate??
If the answer is "yes" to any, you can't be "just friends" and should sever your ties. Not because it is a "rule." But because it is a good boundary to keep if you want to keep yourself healthy.
Kind of scary to read the comments here, to see just how many of the "friends" have said that they've "laid" all of their male friends.
HRT said it most eloquently indeed...
If the commentors on THIS are any indication...