Maggie's Farm

We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.

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Thursday, November 18. 2010

Our humble grope proposal

There is just something so wrong about this pic (from Drudge). It seems too gay, for one thing. Not that there is anything wrong with that.


Our proposal for the TSA mess is to hire studly young men to grope the women, and hot young babes to grope the men.


Complaints would disappear. People might even line up for more thorough checks in the back room. Of course, they would have to revise those dorky pseudo-cop uniforms. They aren't cops - they are toll-collectors.


Related: Government: offensive, intrusive, expensive and ineffective all at once?

Posted by The News Junkie at 07:52 | Comments (24) | Trackbacks (0)

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And will the hot young women be dressed in bikinis and the hot young men be chippendale-esque?

How about being able to strike some really provocative poses for the scanner device (and can we have copies to pass out to friends/admirers)?

I would want some naughty, strip-teasey sort of music and I am sure, given the people you suggest for patting us down, reciprocal pats from the passengers to the tsa agents would be appreciated?
#1 J on 2010-11-18 08:17 (Reply)
"Of course, they would have to revise those dorky pseudo-cop uniforms."

Yeah, what is it with that anyway?

Our Canadian version of TSA - CATSA - wears dorky pseudo-official uniforms too.

Worse, our CBSA (Canada Border Services Agency - a lame moniker if ever there was one) can't seem to make up their minds whether they want to look like a SWAT team or mall security guards.
#2 JJM on 2010-11-18 08:28 (Reply)
Glad I'm not the only one who isn't comforted by their assurances that only men will grope me prior to my next flight.
#3 NJSoldier on 2010-11-18 08:29 (Reply)
Don't Ask, Don't Tell in action.
#3.1 Tom Francis on 2010-11-18 08:32 (Reply)
I may have to fly South next month. I'm seriously thinking of getting some lead foil and making up some letters to paste on my front and back for the scanners.

You know - messages like "Keep your hands out of your pants" or "Hey my eyes are up here" - that kind of thing. :>)

By the way - what's the over/under on backscatter/xray images showing up on Usenet or porn sites?

My bet is six months. :>)
#4 Tom Francis on 2010-11-18 08:36 (Reply)
Tom, my idea was to use some type of glitter nail polish and write a message on my belly.
#5 Mr. Bingley on 2010-11-18 09:02 (Reply)
That's not a bad idea.
#5.1 Tom Francis on 2010-11-18 10:48 (Reply)
Stick a couple oranges and a large salami in your drawers and smile real big
#6 buddy larsen on 2010-11-18 10:21 (Reply)
Ok - I know it is early on in the thread, but I'm going to make the official call right now.

"Stick a couple oranges and a large salami in your drawers and smile real big"

is the Official Maggie's Farm "COMMENT OF THE DAY". :>)
#6.1 Tom Francis on 2010-11-18 10:55 (Reply)
There are a lot of folks making jokes about this latest TSA invasion of privacy. I, for one, am not laughing.

The symbolism of this is profound and not in a good way.

Ron Paul has offered legislation to end this nonsense and spoke yesterday on the House floor. Despite his soft spoken and less than forceful demeanor he continues to be a paragon of truth and lawful governance.
#7 Kevin on 2010-11-18 10:39 (Reply)
Humor often comes from the absurd or stark reality.

While I agree with you in principle in terms of violation of 4th Amendment rights by the TSA and DHS, sometimes you can effect change by exposing the ridiculous and arcane using satire or humor.
#7.1 Tom Francis on 2010-11-18 11:05 (Reply)
I can't get past that the BodyScan pics look like Concentration Camp residents. The first thing done to people in the Camps was to get rid of their human dignity by taking off their clothing - ostensibly for the "showers"....

You become nothing but cattle. THINK about it.

Susan Lee
#7.2 Susan Lee on 2010-11-18 16:45 (Reply)
Special lines for those of alternative groping preferences?
#8 Bird Dog on 2010-11-18 10:52 (Reply)
Special lines for those of alternative groping preferences?
#9 Bird Dog on 2010-11-18 10:52 (Reply)
You just know that will be coming at some point.
#9.1 Tom Francis on 2010-11-18 11:07 (Reply)
salami and oranges.lol.

Strip club patrons throughout the land will now ask for the backroom "TSA Special".
#10 RickTn on 2010-11-18 11:29 (Reply)
You know what would be funny? If you are submitting to a "enhanced pat down", you could do the porno boom-chicka-chicka music while its being done.

Trust me - it won't be long before one of the adult film industry producers makes a movie titled "TSA Special" starring Pat Down.
#11 Tom Francis on 2010-11-18 11:36 (Reply)
Maybe they could incorporate the scanners to be part of the healthcare plan. Send the pic directly to your doctor for cancer screening.
#12 linda s on 2010-11-18 12:28 (Reply)
"Of course, they would have to get rid of those dorky pseudo cop uniforms"

Um, not, uh, necessarily...
#13 Michael Adams on 2010-11-18 12:47 (Reply)
Unfortunately, most TSA workers are about two levels lower socially than most of the passengers they harass. I suspect that class hatred is behind the more traumatizing searches. I wouldn't want one of them touching ME. Sheesh. It's bad enough going for one's annual physical with clean medical professionals. But some thuggish critter w greasy hair who enjoys bullying just a little too much? Revenge of the former welfare scrounger upon the middle class...
#14 Retriever on 2010-11-18 12:56 (Reply)
Nice point "R"

Anyone notice any former Catholic priests as TSA employees.
#15 jappy on 2010-11-18 16:29 (Reply)
Next time I enter an airport, it'll be with by dick hanging out...for the children. I don't want anyone to suffer through wondering what's in my pants. My stuff will be right there in the open for the sake of keeping the peace.
#16 ccoffer on 2010-11-18 21:26 (Reply)
I think the real anger growing from this is that all sensible people know that all of this scanning and groping of EVERYONE is totally unnecessary and unserious. We have sufficiently good data base technology to screen out 95+% of the passengers as safe and do nothing more than a simple metal detector and bag scan if even that much is required. Proper attention can then be focused on the remaining higher risk passengers...mostly males between ages 18-40 from Muslim countries or who have traveled to Muslim countries, members of Islam, and/or Islamic type name, especially any with record of association with any number of radical Islamic organizations.

If CAIR and Saudi Arabia elites don't like it they can leave.

If the remaining mostly innocent but inconvenienced swarthy passengers don't like it, then they can start policing their fellow Muslims more proactively and help rid us of this barbarism.
#17 phil g on 2010-11-18 21:39 (Reply)
Junkie likes gay and too gay, too?

That qualifies yall for politically correct award, boy.
#18 Leag on 2010-11-19 12:46 (Reply)

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