Happy American Independence From The Tyranny of Great Britain Day, everyone. Personally, I'm glad we finally got those Limeys out of our hair. Just between you and me, I thought those foreign accents were really annoying. Hey, if you're going to come to America, at least learn how to speak American, right?
Pictured: Pretty perky Patty Patterson pointedly presses proper patriotic power persuasions per personal preference post ponderously pontificating portentous premonitions precipitating prior pulsating palpitations.
Regular News
It's always nice to start off with a little good news, so here we go.
Are you worried that the massive government spending is going to eventually dip into your wallet and rob you of your last thin dime?
Well, you're right, it is — but here's the good news:
There's still plenty of time left to live it up! Almost half a year! Yippee!
Six Months to Go Until The Largest Tax Hikes in History
Hot, Hotter, Hottest Dept:
Little-Known Fourth of July Facts
How Fireworks Pros Make Brilliant Pyrotechnics
Celebration: 25 Red, White & Blue Bikinis
Sunday Science:
New Look at Apollo 17 Moon Sample Reveals Graphite Delivered by Lunar Impactor
Watson, the Computer that Could Play Jeopardy
Artificial Butterfly Reveals Secrets of Swallowtail Flight
How to Mow a Lawn: Rows or Spirals?
Just Rewards, Digital Dept:
Well, for all the bad things that can be said about California, one true shining note is at least their computer systems are as modern as it gets. With Silicon Valley sitting right there, how could they not be?
For the second time in two years, Schwarzenegger has ordered most state workers' pay cut...
A state appellate court ruled in Schwarzenegger's favor Friday, but the state controller, who issues state paychecks, says he can't comply. One reason given by Controller John Chiang, a Democrat elected in 2006: The state's computer system can't handle the technological challenge of restating paychecks to the federal minimum of $7.25 an hour.
He said a fix to the state's computerized payroll system won't be ready until October 2012.
So...it can raise people's paychecks, but it can't lower them back down? It'll take two and a half years before it can perform this monumental task?
Every now and then someone mentions Popular Mechanics and the outstanding post-Katrina article they did, so here it is:
Debunking the Myths of Hurricane Katrina: Special Report
Finally! It's nice to see that somebody out there still takes the serious things seriously:
Wonder Woman's New Costume Sparks Interdimensional Ire
I would have used the word "Condemnation", given the severity of the crime, but "Ire" works. Now that they've finally got her lower extremities covered up, I suppose a partial burka for her upper arms and neck will be next. You know how trendy that Hollywood crowd is.
Political News
Breaking: Lady Gaga Beats Obama for Facebook Record
