The article is here. It's so full of cockamamie bullshit that I thought I'd share parts of it with you down below and my responses.
First, though, we have to get you up to speed. Read this, if you haven't, come back here.
Not a very pretty picture, is it? We've now seen it mentioned in conjunction with political candidates, job seekers and students.
Who's left?
And the point is, when it comes to something impacting our lives on a personal level such as being refused access to a college or a job or a bride because you tested positive for the Unsociable Gene the potential this has to hurt us is far greater than any half-baked global warming bill. Yeah, the price of gas and oil and pretty much everything else under the sun will go up but that won't keep you from going to the college of your choice.
Or getting a job.
Or marrying a loved one.
As for the article, check out this bizarreness:
The students will be asked to voluntarily submit a DNA sample.
Oh, well, that's a relief. It's good to know they're not getting pressured into it.
There will also be a variety of events and lectures at the campus on lifestyle choices for all undergraduate students who choose not to participate in the DNA program.
Oh. Lectures. And a variety of them, no less. And lots of exciting events. Gosh, maybe I should give this some thought. After all, I certainly wouldn't want to feel left out, right? And certainly not at college, of all places. With all this peer pressure? Okay, I'll do it!
There will also be a science-themed art contest that will award the four best entries with a full genetic analysis.
This, of course, would be the same 'science' as exhibited in the "science" of global warming and the "science" of genetics that we saw in the above post.
That science.
Okay, I know what you're wondering. Just what benefits will the brave, pioneering students reap from all this?
Once the DNA sample is sent in and tested, it will show the students ability to tolerate alcohol, absorb folic acid and metabolize lactose.
Maybe it's just me, but my guess is that most people already have a fairly decent idea of just how much booze and milk they can tolerate. Fruit (folic acid), though, I'm not so sure about. You have to admit, you rarely read of fruitaholics making a full recovery.
Now, as to just where this blasphemy is taking place Berkeley, CA, spirit of free and independent thought this is so beyond irony that words fail me.
When it comes to recruiting new students, though, it's easy to see the allure:
"This type of experience is one of the true, unique values of a Berkeley education. We don't just give you books to read, Mark Schlissel, dean of the division of biological sciences said.
On this we can certainly agree. Discounting finding out what you already knew about booze, milk and fruit, this same DNA is now part of a permanent government database and if 35 years down the road you get in a minor scuffle that really wasn't your fault but possibly something illegal happened your ass is grass. Just
breathe on something while you're there and that'll be enough to convict you.
So he's certainly right about their education being "unique".
"You won't see this anywhere else in higher education."
At least not this year, anyway.
The results of the test will be put in a secure online database
Would it be rude if I just laughed out loud?
And since this is a college, it would only be right to include a few well-respected authors to back up the program.
Previously incoming students were advised to read Stephen Hawking's "A Briefer History of Time"...
This is the same Stephen Hawking who was recently in the news advising us not to make contact with space aliens because they could come down here and destroy us. The same Stephen Hawking who believes in alternate dimensions, time travel and Intelligent Design.
That Stephen Hawking.
...as behavioral guides.
Well, if I were sending my young son or daughter off to college for the first time, one thing I'd sure want is for the government to provide behavioral guides.
Apparently I, as a parent, simply wasn't good enough.
Best let Stephen Hawking show them the way.
And that's where we're at. It just takes one to break the dam. And it'll be modern and fashionable for companies and government institutions to implement it. It will be, in a word, irresistible. It'll be the ultimate behind-the-scenes peek at potential employees, students, bridal prospects...
friends...
and, given that, who would be the wiser? Apparently you didn't notice your lunch date slipping your paper napkin into her purse. What's that? She never returned your calls?
Would you like to guess what you tested positive for?
You have no idea?
Exactly.
Update:
As I'm putting this post together, guess what drifts in:
As I said, fashionable.
Worse, there's no real argument against it. Don't you want to find out you have the Unsociable Gene so you can get therapy and do something about it? Isn't it in your best interests to find out while you're young that you have the Divorce Gene, just so you don't make the mistake of marrying another carrier?
And, be honest, if you test positive for both the Violence and Child Abuse Genes, should you really be allowed around children?
In fact, with your genetic track record, we think it'd really be in the community's best interest if you were locked away permanently.
And, as it turns out, the courts agree.
You have no recourse.
The mighty god DNA declareth it so.
